Allen Steadham's Blog: From Allen - Write Away! - Posts Tagged "christian"

I started writing at the age of ten. Back then, I created my own comics, almost entirely superhero-related. I grew up on DC and Marvel comics. I read Superman, Batman, Spider-Man and the Avengers. But when I found the Uncanny X-Men, I found a new muse. I related to the brooding Scott Summers (aka Cyclops - long before he became the unlikable dude he is today). I created my own original superhero team and forged stories around them, their powers, their foes, the battles with those foes. Then I developed their character and relationships. They even became a generational superhero team. I wrote and drew them for twenty years, they became like family in a way.

But my own life changed and my need for drawing superhero scenarios dwindled. I got married, got a "real" job, became a father and became a Christian.

My wife had always been my "editor" for my comics, I trusted her (and still do) implicitly. So I wanted to create a new comic with her, a Christian comic. We took our time and prayed over it and eventually, Due East was born. Due East was more of a slice-of-life comic. It was about a multiracial family with a mixed-race (Chinese and Caucasian) man who married and African-American woman and they had two daughters. But conflicts arose, they separated and divorced. Still, they stayed in touch regarding their children (the oldest daughter lived with the father who moved to Canada for his job and her sister lived with her mother in Texas) and their love re-kindled, prompting him to move back with plans to re-marry. The spiritual aspect of the comic involved the younger daughter's best friend, who was a Christian. The series debuted online as a webcomic in 2007 on The Duck Webcomics and won Best Spiritual Comic and Most Profound Comic at The Duck Webcomics Awards in 2008. Due East ran from 2007 to 2009.

By 2008, my wife and I got used to scripting Due East's pages before I drew them. This became instrumental in ironing out plot details and dialogue.

A few years after Due East ended, I started a new webcomic called Super Chibi Girl (SCG) about a mixed-race (Caucasian father and African-American mother) young woman who gets involved in an extraterrestrial civil conflict that breaks out on Earth. I scripted the pages of SCG the same as we did Due East. SCG ran from 2012 to 2014.

In November 2013, I challenged myself to participate in National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) and write a 50000 word first draft for a book. I had a simple premise: take characters and story elements from my first superhero team comic (which was called "The AR-MEN," no relation to the X-Men), modernize those elements and make a Christian novel with superhero characters -- without actually making it a superhero story!

I named the novel Mindfire , after its lead protagonist, a young woman named Leia Hamilton. She had superhuman powers of telekinesis (moving objects with her mind) and pyrokinesis (the ability to set objects on fire). I revised plot elements so Leia did not know that her father had been a superhero once and her mother had been a supervillain.

Mindfire quickly turned into two stories in one, each affecting the other in unforeseen ways. It became a mystery which gradually unfolded. The characters with more-than-human abilities were tragically human and flawed. No one was perfect but all were striving to be something more than they were. It became a story about love and redemption.

I self-published Mindfire on Amazon in June 2016. It is 286 pages long and geared towards teens and older.

Since then I have been working on a trilogy of science-fantasy books with a young woman as the protagonist. And they have spiritual and Christian elements as well. I hope to release "Jordan's World" this year.

Thanks for reading this!

I know that for most of its history, Halloween has been a popular "holiday-that’s-not-an-official-holiday." It is recognized for many reasons, not least of which is children (of all ages) dressing up as whatever they desire and associating a sense of fun with varying degrees of dark, horror and even macabre themes. Little of it is meant to be taken seriously. I remember it well, as I celebrated Halloween from childhood through my late teens.

Before I proceed, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against anyone who engages in Halloween festivities. That is an individual decision and it means different things to different people. Consider the rest of what I’ve written here food for thought.

I stopped participating in Halloween when I became a Christian in 1996. I know that some believers still do celebrate the occasion; that’s their choice. However, I did not change my mind about it just because of my faith. As time has passed, I’ve come to better comprehend what Halloween accomplishes: it gives people a reason to play with something that many of them either do not truly believe in or understand -- the Spirit World.

Imagery of and costumes evoking ghosts, goblins, vampires, werewolves and murdering ghouls (whether zombies or deranged psychopaths) are fair game for a day. Far from angels, these things actually represent demons. But since people see them as fictitious, they’re harmless, right? Isn’t it just make-believe?

And what about people who dress up as superheroes, other heroic characters or some cartoon character? Is it okay to dress up as a TV/movie character that has nothing to do with horror? Where’s the harm?

​If one is celebrating Halloween in any form, it is giving silent acceptance to all of Halloween, including the harmful and evil representations.

Presently, many people do not believe in spirits -- or anything they can’t identify with their five senses. That’s understandable from the society we live in. We are used to instant access to plenty of things we can experience through our mobile devices, computers or in-person.

But we all have faith. I’m not talking about religious or spiritual faith. I’m talking about believing in something. It could be family, friends, education, politics, science, entertainment, social justice or any number of other areas. One has to have faith to trust in anything. And we can’t see faith, we only experience it.

There’s literally a universe worth of things we don’t know, realize or understand yet. No matter how long we live, as individuals or as humanity itself, we will always be learning. We cannot see gravity but it’s what keeps us from floating away into the cosmos. With rare exceptions, we can’t see the wind; we can only see its effects.

All that said, I will state that we live in a dual universe: one physical and one spiritual - both inhabiting the same reality. We are alive both biologically and because we have living souls. When we are conceived, our bodies are biologically created and our souls enter in to occupy them. When we die, our bodies cease to function and our souls leave them.

Likewise, as we walk this Earth, we see people, animals, vegetation, land, water, sky and all things constructed. But occupying the same space are other things, spiritual in nature. There are angels and demons, incredible wonders and unspeakable terrors. Most of it is beyond our ability to comprehend. Still, it exists.

As a teen, I walked between both worlds in ignorance. It’s something I’m not ready to expound on, as such matters are not easily shared. Most would probably find it unbelievable. But it occurred. I’m grateful that the Lord Himself had mercy on me. He allowed me to break free of that ordeal. Someday, I will properly write or speak of it.

Today, I see Halloween as linked with all the darkness and wickedness I left behind. I truly believe that most people don’t see the fullness of what they’re associating with in Halloween. They think it’s harmless fun. I saw its true face and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

By 1996, the Lord led me down a path to Salvation. My own changed life is a witness to God’s power. As an adult, I have seen and experienced miracles.

​There is no comparison between the Dark and the Light. The Dark can seem attractive. It has things to offer and there’s a power behind it. But the Light has already conquered it. There is hope and peace in God’s perfect light through His Son, Jesus Christ.

No matter how you feel about the opinions I’ve expressed here, I thank you for reading this.

Being a Christian seems to mean different things to different people. Some people see it as good and others see it as bad, for a variety of reasons.

I’m just one man. I can’t possibly represent all people who call themselves Christian. I can only share myself with you. These are my feelings and views.

As a Christian, it is my nature to care about people — all people — regardless of race, gender, age, nationality, ability, belief system, sexual orientation, financial status, immigration status and any other qualifying factors. I don’t hate anyone. That all changed when I gave my life to Christ. I wasn’t a bigot before my conversion but I did hold grudges and there were individuals whom I hated. I left all that behind, the way I abandoned cursing, lying, manipulating, drinking alcohol and abusing illegal drugs.

I don’t judge any individual. That is not my responsibility nor do I desire to do so. But I can dislike any act or behavior, whether legal or illegal, that deliberately inflicts suffering and loss on self or others. In other words, I don’t like sin.

That said, I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes over the years. I’ve unintentionally caused hurt and pain. When I’ve been made aware, I’ve tried to make amends, though I haven’t always succeeded. I’m always learning and trying to grow, both as a person and as a Christian.

Why did I write that just now? Because God didn’t make those mistakes. Jesus Christ did not make those mistakes. I did. I believe sometimes people blame God and Jesus for the shortcomings of fallible human beings. I think that's especially true for those who cause harm to others while hypocritically proclaiming their Christianity.

Jesus warned of this in Matthew 7: 13-20 (King James Version)

"Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."

Matthew 7: 21-23 (King James Version)

"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

God does not change. His love is inexhaustible. He and Jesus exist outside time itself and can see and understand all things. They are not limited by people’s perceptions of them. They do not and will not fit into what people want them to be. They are who they are, regardless of who believes in Them.

So here’s why I’m proud to be a Christian. My life has dramatically changed since I accepted Christ in January 1996. My conscience was cleaned by the Holy Spirit.

I was given new purpose, hope and potential. I learned how to be a better husband, father, and person. My wife and I joined a Christian band called First Light, so I developed as a musician and singer (and so did she). The Lord altered the direction of the comics I was creating. And eventually, He sent me down the path to becoming a Christian fiction author.

I’m not ashamed of who I am and who I’ve become. I have a wonderful African-American wife. We cherish and love each other equally. We've been married since 1995 and have three children together. I have family in so many ways. I have friends all over the globe. I can write Christian fiction stories that people have started buying. It's very exciting!

I don’t have to be a millionaire to be rich. I am most content with all that I have. I am wealthy in love, peace, and joy.

I know this world is filled with an incalculable amount of sadness, heartache, bitterness, loss, and hate. People suffer every day, they are suffering right now, for so many reasons. People lose hope all the time.

But no matter what people are going through, there is an answer. Hope is out there, it can be renewed. And there can be peace, a love to see anyone through any ordeal. A love that surpasses limits and understanding. It may not stop the hurt, but it can give people strength to endure another minute, hour or day. It can offer stability where none exists.

That’s why I’m sharing this. I was compelled to write it. I know it can’t reach or please everyone; that’s impossible. But even if it helps one person in any way, then it’s worth it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

The following excerpt is from Jordan's Deliverance (Book 3 in the Jordan of Algoran series) by Allen Steadham. It takes place on Earth approximately fifty years from now.
​
Jo Cartens didn't mind that her magped was a ten-year-old model with fading blue and yellow colors. She had named it Mabel. It was surprisingly plush, sturdy, and dependable. She had installed new magnetic shock absorbers and recently replaced the failing core module. That allowed for smoother travel or idling in place. Mabel wasn’t the fastest model, but she didn’t have to be. Jo only lived three miles from her job as a history professor at Chintawka University in Chase Creek, Colorado. The cool afternoon wind was picking up and the clouds were threatening rain. A few drops bounced off the windscreen and her helmet.

She smiled as she passed the slower-moving 305 bus, which was currently empty. During her time as a student, she had ridden the 305 at all hours of the day and night. All mass transit had become remote controlled and thus driverless about fifteen years ago. Behind her, she heard the bus release its magnetic seal with a loud whirr and it began moving forward again.

She should get home before it stormed. Ethan would become spooked by thunder and lightning. It wouldn’t help if she got in an accident, either.

A block ahead of Jo, there was a flash of bright light. Instinctively, she made a wide swerve to avoid whatever it was, then eased into the brakes, pulling over to stop. A multi-colored portal appeared and began swirling in mid-air. Her eyes widened as she saw a blue-haired woman in some kind of long robe stumble out of the phenomenon.

The woman stood, apparently uninjured. But she was in the bus’s path. The woman appeared disoriented.

“Lady, get out of the way!”

The vehicle automatically blared its piercing horn at the living object in its path. The woman had triggered its proximity sensors and its brakes screamed to life. Horrified, Jo watched the other woman plant her feet to the ground and extend her arms forward, her head down.

“Are you insane? Jump! It’ll—”

Before she could cover her eyes, Jo witnessed the impossible. The front of the bus’s metal frame came to an abrupt halt and crumpled, smashing against the blue-haired woman’s grip. Glass from the windshield and windows shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. Tilting from the impact, the bus fell on its left side. And instead of a bloody pulp, the other woman was almost unscathed, aside from some scratches caused by tiny, razor-like shrapnel. More startling to Jo, the woman’s feet had dug into the pavement where she had been pushed backwards by the transport vehicle, creating twin trails in the concrete.

Jo was frozen in place, stunned, her mouth hanging open. She blinked several times.

That . . . couldn’t be real!

________


Jordan hadn’t felt the rush of the vortex in decades. It had grabbed her like a thing alive and thrashed her about in its clutches, shifting violently in a torrent of motion as lights flashed all around her. When it finally released her, she was barely coherent enough to land on her feet and run to a stop. Then she heard something approaching. Whatever it was, it was big and so close, it was almost on top of her.

I cannot get out of the way in time!

Instinctively, she dug her feet in place and reached out to protect herself. A heartbeat later, it felt like a wall of metal rammed into her. She held onto it and rode out the shockwave. She could feel her feet burning as they ripped up the ground. She screamed, determined to survive, though the noise from the collision’s aftermath drowned her out. Jordan heard whatever had hit her topple onto the ground. For an instant, she feared it might fall on her.

Seconds later, it was over. Jordan’s adrenaline was fading fast and she felt herself sliding down towards the ground. Now on all fours, she was trying to catch her breath, but the air had a chemical tang to it that was offensive; she coughed, almost gagging at one point. She leaned forward, covering her mouth and nose with her hand as her hair covered her eyes. It took an effort not to lose consciousness or vomit.

“How are you even alive?” a female voice reached through to her. As she lifted her head, she saw the blurry silhouette of a woman walking towards her.

Is that—English? It has been so long; I had forgotten how it sounded!

(Originally written January 9, 2021)

We live in interesting times...

In my view, it is no longer a matter of whether the world we have always known is changing. It has changed and will continue to. I don't think I need to go into the specifics, as this has been publicly discussed at great length.

Despite these developments, I am not afraid and I have hope. My hope is not for which direction my country or the world will go from here, that will change from day to day. Instead, my hope is in God and His Son, Jesus Christ. So long as I place my trust in Him, the Holy Spirit will continue to guide me.

I will continue to serve my Lord however He wants me to. I will continue to write Christian fiction. I sent the manuscript for The Former Things to my publisher, Ambassador International, this week. And I will push forward on Book One of the Steam & Mettle series. I will perform with my wife in First Light wherever we are needed. My family and I will go to church and seek the Lord's will for our lives. And I will seek to have peace with everyone I encounter and to conform more to the image of Jesus Christ by His grace.

My prayers are for all of you. As always, I would appreciate your prayers and well wishes also.

(Originally written January 24, 2021)

While there are many deep divisions of thought and opinion, both in the United States and around the world, there is one thing we can depend on: God is real. He is eternal, unchanging, holy and the source of all love and everything good. We can call on Him and depend on Him, no matter the circumstances.

I recently finished reading Job in the Old Testament. I will always be amazed by God's response to Job:

Job 38: 22-38 (King James Version - KJV)

Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow? or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail, which I have reserved against the time of trouble, against the day of battle and war? By what way is the light parted, which scattereth the east wind upon the earth?

Who hath divided a watercourse for the overflowing of waters, or a way for the lightning of thunder; To cause it to rain on the earth, where no man is; on the wilderness, wherein there is no man; To satisfy the desolate and waste ground; and to cause the bud of the tender herb to spring forth?

Hath the rain a father? or who hath begotten the drops of dew? Out of whose womb came the ice? and the hoary frost of heaven, who hath gendered it?
The waters are hid as with a stone, and the face of the deep is frozen.

Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion? Canst thou bring forth Mazzaroth in his season? or canst thou guide Arcturus with his sons? Knowest thou the ordinances of heaven? canst thou set the dominion thereof in the earth?

Canst thou lift up thy voice to the clouds, that abundance of waters may cover thee? Canst thou send lightnings, that they may go and say unto thee, Here we are?

Who hath put wisdom in the inward parts? or who hath given understanding to the heart? Who can number the clouds in wisdom? or who can stay the bottles of heaven, when the dust groweth into hardness, and the clods cleave fast together?

For what He is and what He can do, the Lord is beyond our comprehension. Yet based on examples in the Bible throughout history, and even through our continued existence as a human race, I believe it is undeniable that God loves us. We are His creations, beings given souls and the Breath of Life from God Himself.

We may come up with reasons to divide ourselves from one another, to see differences in each other based on our skin color, country of origin, belief systems (political or spiritual) and as many ultimately small reasons we can think up, but at the same time, we have undeniable things in common. We have the same basic biological and emotional needs. We all bleed red. We all have aspirations, passions and we all need hope to continue on in life.

Keeping this in mind, our divisions are only as relevant as we make them.

God, through His Own Example in Jesus Christ, showed us what unity is supposed to be: submission to God's Will for our lives.

Jesus was accused of being a devil, even though He was the Son of God and lived a sinless life. Though Jesus performed miracles, healed the sick, raised the dead, changed water to wine, and fed thousands with only a couple of loaves of bread and a few fish, people still people did not believe Jesus was who He said He was. The religious leaders called His claims of being the Son of God blasphemy and condemned Jesus.

Despite all that, He did not fight back, curse or put the blame on others. He willingly suffered wrongs beyond what we can imagine. Submitting to God's Will, Jesus took up His cross and allowed Himself to be the sacrifice for all of our sins. He died and was resurrected so the Holy Spirit could be sent to the world to provide us a path for salvation and peace.

I John 2: 1-6 (KJV) reads:

My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for our's only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.

He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.

In addition, I John 2: 15 - 17 (KJV) reads:

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

We can depend on the Lord to keep His Holy Word. It requires faith and patience that only the Holy Spirit can provide. But these gifts are available to us, we only have to call on Him and believe.

We don't have to be afraid in the face of uncertainty. No matter what concerns you — whether the pandemic or lockdowns, political unrest — or any other fear or concern, we can all find assurance in God's promises.

In John 16: 33 (KJV), Jesus said:

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Into The Unknown: Seven Tales of Faith and Bravery has released! Seven Christian science fiction tales by seven authors with Ambassador International. It contains my short story "The Fate of Transport 80-14."

However, there has been some kind of issue with Amazon. So, the only places you can get the ebook today is Barnes & Noble and Googleplay. Fortunately, Barnes & Noble has a free NOOK app for iOs, Android and PC.

BUY ON BARNES & NOBLE

BUY ON GOOGLEPLAY

I'll keep you updated on Amazon and other locations as I get that information. Thanks for understanding and happy reading!

This is an excerpt from an upcoming Space Western short story/novella I'm writing. It is part of a project I agreed to be a part of. I will give more details about it in the months ahead. But I hope you enjoy this!

(Excerpt begins)

Rayzm Korda appraised the twelve metallic slivers in his gray hand, confident with the green symbols engraved into their upper right corners. The middle-aged Icerr allowed himself a smile before returning his black pupil-less gaze to his opponent.

“You think they’re that good, huh?” the younger human male replied, running a hand through his scruffy black hair as he looked up from his own slivers. “My collection is sharper than the stinger on your tail, old man.”

Without looking back, Rayzm shoved his tail towards the wall. A brief thump and squeal followed. Then the Icerr lifted up his tail, revealing the plump rodent he had just impaled to death.

“You sure about that, boy?” Rayzm said with a thin smile.
The human yawned, unimpressed. “You kill it, you cook it,” he said. “Reveal.”

The Icerr lowered all his slivers onto the table, their symbols in full view.

“The Queen’s Dagger,” he boasted. “Beat that, Jivan!”
“Okay,” Jivan replied with a defiant grin. He showed his slivers to Rayzm. “The Assassin’s Metal Wire.”

Rayzm’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “Sword of Omens, that’s a good hand!” he whispered.
“That’s right. So, you take the next landing and I track the target this time...right?”

Rayzm scowled at him in silence for several seconds.

“Fine. I did offer that if I lost,” he finally said. “But I will...advise you.”
“Fair enough.”

Here's an excerpt from my upcoming Christian Space Western short story/novella. This part has a Dolphinmer (a dolphin/human mer-being) named Kammdar on a planet called Diveen.

(Excerpt begins)

Kammdar closed his eyes and grinned as he rapidly swam through the pure and refreshing salt waters of Diveen. He dove close enough to the floor to feel its sands lightly brush against his bare muscular chest before twisting upward. Seconds later, with one powerful thrust of his smooth gray tail, he shot up and crashed through the surface into the air. He let his arms extend on each side and embraced the joyful sensation. Then a purple and white flash of light at the shore caught his attention before he splashed below the waves again.

The portal has opened! Kammdar thought. We have not had visitors in at least two solar cycles. I wonder who it is?

He and his podmates had been taught by the Podmother from a young age that the portals were naturally occurring gateways between the known worlds. They allowed for strangers to come and the inhabitants of Diveen to leave. But such choices had to be measured carefully, she had told them.

“The portals often bring new friends,” Podmother had said, an angelic smile spreading below her sparkling crystal blue eyes. Her long turquoise hair with silver streaks framed her soft, round face. “Friends such as the humans have proven their kindness and love of the Mer. They are welcome here and we love them in return. Pairings between humans and Mer even led to the creation of hybrid Mercinnian children, our beautiful brothers and sisters. Some of us even build individual homes on their own small islands to live part of our time with human friends or mates.”

“But not all who come through the portals are friends. Long ago, the portals brought invaders, a large faction of ones called Kalli,” she continued. “And only the of the Whalemers and Mersharks, combined with the cunning of the Dolphinmers and the prayers of the Wisemers repelled the evil ones.” It was a warning all younglings were told to never ignore.

New friends to play with! he thought in the present. Who is it? Could it be humans? I’ve never met a hstrength uman before, but I’ve always wanted to. Will they like me? What should I say to them? Do they eat fish, too? Can they swim fast? I can’t wait to meet them!

With vigor, the young man swished his tail back and forth, weaving through the waves towards land. But as he got closer, a new sound pierced the liquid around him, and he recoiled as if struck.

A scream! he thought, now alarmed. Someone is in pain!

This excerpt is from my next novel, The Former Things, a Christian fiction story told from the perspective of an atheist. This is a part of a flashback of the main character, Sean Winter, when he was in college.

(Excerpt begins)

At the time, Jennie Lou was a sophomore. She grew up in Texas, somewhere near Dallas. We're the same height, though she was heavier than me. She had bright blue eyes, long strawberry blonde hair, and a kind smile. I thought I was in love with her. She led Campus Revival for two years and had recruited me to the cause a few months earlier.

For such an attractive woman, she had a surprisingly rough voice. It reminded me of Peppermint Patty from the Peanuts gang, if she grew up and went to college. She could be kind of bossy like her, too, but I didn’t mind. I was completely devoted to her, which was probably the worst reason to join a college club.

“At least he looked at it, Sean,” she told me after we saw one young man throw away one of our group's pamphlets. “You never know how the Lord may work with him later.”

Jennie Lou always rebuilt the club’s — or rather, my confidence when people rejected our efforts. Despite her encouragement, I hadn’t been convinced this time. I felt like we were wasting our time. But I didn’t want to openly disagree with her. I didn’t want to disappoint her.

“I suppose you’re right, Jennie,” I said, still sounding dejected.

She took me by the shoulders and practically held me up with her own strength. In that moment, all my attention was on her gorgeous heart-shaped face. Just seeing it and being so close to her lifted my spirits in ways nothing else could. I saw that her faith was unshakeable. And I would follow wherever she led...like a grinning idiot.

“Sean, listen to me,” she said, letting go and turning around to face the greater campus. She was wearing one of the purple Campus Revival t-shirts she’d designed. The logo was a white cross rising over the yellow blocky letters “Campus Revival OU.” It was the same on the front and back. I thought it complimented her figure, along with the blue jeans and white sneakers. Still looking away, she stretched out her right arm and opened her palm towards the students walking down the sidewalk. “We’re like front line soldiers for Jesus. We’ve been given a responsibility — us — and this is something we’re uniquely qualified to do.”

Then she swung around and faced me, looking determined. “All we have to do is reach out to the students. It’s up to them whether they accept us or not. But if we don’t try, then the work doesn’t get done at all. Do you understand?”

I didn’t understand at all. Every time we went out in public, we were mocked, even laughed at. Only club members came to our events and not all of them at that. I didn’t feel like we reached anybody. But this was Jennie Lou. I would have climbed a mountain for her. Or endured a thousand insults to protect her honor and beliefs.

But what about my beliefs? I felt like a liar inside. I’d attended church services ever since I came to live with my grandparents. I’d even learned some scriptures. I could behave just like a Christian, but it was all an act. Smile, say the right words, keep out of trouble, and say the blessing. I could do those things. But I had no deep devotion.