Marc Weissbluth's Blog

April 20. Putting her in her crib drowsy but awake was sometimes associated with naps and sometimes no naps and crying for an hour. My hope was that with more net night sleep, she would become less sleep deprived and more able to self-soothe for naps. Because there was no clear trend towards improvement, I suggested that you try to get more day sleep by using the swing in a dark quiet room. You suggested more consistent nursing for soothing before naps and I agree with you. My hope was that the old familiar rocking motion of the swing and consistent nursing before naps would increase her frequency and duration of naps. I thought that our next step might be to turn off the swing after she had fallen asleep for the nap and subsequently try again to nap her in her crib. Do you feel all right with this plan?

I was confident that this would eventually work because she has long night sleep and has been able sometimes to nap in the crib when put her down drowsy but awake. The idea of going back to the swing was to allow her to get more sleep and give you a break from the crying during the nap attempts even though the swing soothing is somewhat contrary to the notion of self-soothing. I view the swing as a minimal aid to help her fall asleep and stay asleep. In contrast, when you pick her up to do soothing or stay with her doing “ssh” sounds, I think that she is much more likely to fight sleep for the pleasure of your company. That’s why I wrote, “I strongly suggest that you do not pick her up to do soothing. Leave her for an hour in the moving swing, even if she is crying. If you pick her up and give her more complex social soothing she will learn to cry for your social comfort.”

Socially reinforcing her ability to fight sleep will guarantee failure in our attempt to help her learn self-soothing to sleep. Naps in the crib did not work well and if you continue to hover or pick her up from the swing, naps in the swing will eventually not work well either. In my frustration and sleep-deprived state, I think I just got confused.

April 22. Mom: I think the earlier bedtime has had a positive impact on her. I think the earlier bedtime has helped her because it helped transitioned her down to 2 naps. I think (and hope) we are now on a path to healthy sleep schedule. Before we started the earlier bedtime, she would go to sleep around 7 and sleep until 5-6, getting about 10-10 1/2 hrs of sleep. Now she goes to bed at 5:30 and sleeps until 5-530, getting about 11-12 hrs of sleep. Dad: I believe the 1730 sleep schedule is a huge success. Besides she is sleeping through the night, it gives my wife some time to herself which I think is important.

April 25. Mom: She has been doing better falling asleep in her swing. We have consistently been putting her in drowsy, but awake, and the time she cries until she falls asleep has gotten progressively less. However, we have not been consistent with turning off the swing after 25 minutes. I wanted to try working on one thing at a time and focus on her falling asleep in the swing first. With the swing on, she has taken several morning naps that last between 1 hr and 1 1/2 hrs. Her afternoon naps are usually less, usually 45 mins- 1 hr. I know leaving the swing on goes against your suggestions.

I put the bunny in her crib a few weeks ago hoping that eventually it would become comforting to her. She’s barely noticed it until now. She’s just starting to grab it and we’re hoping it becomes a comfort object that will be with her for naps, bedtime, and trips for consistency. And all of a sudden she has begun to crawl!

Inconsistent versus Consistent

1. Inconsistent week-end nap schedule.

2. Inconsistent nursing before naps.

3. Inconsistent leaving her alone in the swing and turning it on again to extend naps.

4. Inconsistent turning off the swing after 25 minutes to promote self-soothing or motionless sleep.

5. Inconsistent super early bedtime.

6. Consistent putting her down to nap and at night drowsy but awake.

Marc

April 14. As soon as I place her in the crib, the crying started. I walked out and within a couple of minutes she was asleep! I couldn’t believe it! The rest of the morning was so much easier than the previous mornings. I started feeling a little hopeful. Cried for entire nap attempt in afternoon. The rest of the afternoon was not as bad as I anticipated.

April 15. When I went to get her from her crib this morning, after she had cried the entire hour, she threw up as soon as I picked her up. For the afternoon, I let her sleep on me for an hour (Plan A).

April 16. Would it be possible to get her calmer before naps, more drowsy, by nursing her for a short period so that she is put down in her crib drowsy but awake? I do not view this as a “crutch” but simply a soothing to sleep technique. Yes, I did nurse her before her naps today. The only thing I haven’t been completely consistent about is the nursing but I will continue.

April 17. Take a break. Try to put her down drowsy but awake in a moving swing in a dark quiet room for a few days. After good naps in the moving swing, hopefully, we will try to turn off the swing after 20-25 minutes once she is in a deep sleep. The next step hopefully will be to try the morning nap in the crib again.

April 19. She slept in her swing for an hour and half this morning. She woke up at 10. I’m assuming I shouldn’t keep the 11:30 time for her next nap. I’m thinking around 1? Also, since she’s getting more sleep during the day should we keep the 5:30 bedtime? She is repaying her sleep debt.

Always remember that she was over-tired (sleep-deprived) from the combination of brief naps and a too late bedtime for many months. Therefore, do not, I repeat, do not try for later bedtimes for now. Additionally, and for the same reason to avoid a second wind, put her down for her second nap early, 11:30-12. Worse case scenario is that she lies around in the swing for a while before falling asleep or there is a little crying. For her morning nap, if she begins to cry when you turn off the swing or shortly thereafter, I suggest that you turn on the swing. Our goal is that she learns self-soothing for naps. By turning on the swing she is getting the minimal soothing from the rocking but I strongly suggest that you do not pick her up to do soothing. Leave her for an hour in the moving swing, even if she is crying. If you pick her up and give her more complex social soothing she will learn to cry for your social comfort. I put her in the swing and she woke up, but didn’t cry. I stayed next to her, making “shh” sounds and eventually she fell back asleep. The swing didn’t work that well, however, which is why I think her nap was only about 30 minutes. She woke up crying after 30 minutes and I went in and tried to soothe her back to sleep. She did fall back asleep but woke up when I tried putting her into the swing again.

Readers: What are your thoughts regarding consistency for this parent?

Marc

Here is our sleep solution. The plan is the same as for Sleep Consult #4 with an emphasis that “All naps are in her crib”.

April 9-April 13. 10 nap attempts: Slept 5 times and cried 5 times. She did nap in her crib twice on April 9 for the first time in her life. Remember, we are comparing 5 days to 9 months of not being allowed to self-soothe for naps and no naps in her crib. Being successful 50% of the time is not bad at all. Let us modify our plan and go to her at 5:30AM so there is less crying in the morning and put her down for naps a half-hour earlier to see if she is more able to fall asleep. We feel completely defeated, depressed, and hopeless. I am feeling extremely discouraged, frustrated and guilty. She is very cranky.

April 11. I may try nursing her before each nap. I haven’t been doing that but I think it might relax her. Will it become a crutch? I don’t want to have to nurse in order to fall asleep. Try to nurse her only upon awakening and only when you are soothing for the two naps and at bedtime.

April 13.

Plan A. Because this has been such a stressful experience for mom, one idea is to abandon our entire effort for naps and do whatever you can to maximize sleep and minimize crying during the day but keep the early bedtime in place. This means no sleep after 3PM. After a few days of recuperation, we try our old plan again. Sometimes when parents do this, the child sleeps much better and cries very little as if they know that things have really changed. Maybe because they are better rested they are now more able to sleep better. Of course, we might have a repeat performance of what you are going through now. In this scenario, the child has outlasted the parents and stubbornly continues to fight sleep for parental attention. However, many parents having a taste of success now have a stronger resolve and continue to enforce a biologically healthy sleep schedule causing the child to eventually sleep better.

Plan B. Because your daughter has actually taken half of her expected naps, even though they are brief, we should be proud of her learning this new skill (self-soothing for naps) and encourage her to improve her ability to fall asleep for naps in her crib unassisted. We stick to the plan over the week-end and make another effort to have dad work his magic!

Readers: What do you think they did, Plan A or Plan B? What do you think of my avice?

Marc

Sleep Consult #5

9 Months

Never learned self-soothing for naps.

Refuses to nap in her crib.

No current disagreements between parents?

At about 6 ½ months, we used extinction at night. The longest she cried was 30 minutes the first and second night. Since then, she’s been going to sleep on her own and sleeping 10-11 hours without any intervention. We would disagree in the beginning; I was more open than my wife to letting her cry it out.

She has not napped in her crib since she was a newborn. We still rock her to sleep and then transfer her to the swing…The only ways that I found she would fall and stay asleep were in my arms, her swing, the stroller, or the car…her naps are typically very short, usually lasting about 30-40 minutes…Sometimes she wakes up from her naps cranky (sleep inertia), but refuses to go back to sleep…By 6PM, she usually needs someone to entertain her…as it gets closer to 6:30PM, she can get a little cranky (second wind) Sometimes she will wake up as early as 4:30AM. In this case, I am very cranky and anticipate a rough day ahead…My husband also has a very difficult time putting her to sleep for naps…so I usually end up taking on this job all the time which makes me frustrated and resentful towards him…I do want him to be able to put her down for naps as well.

One thing we struggle with is sticking to our routine on the weekends, as I’m sure most parents do. Her bedtime, 7PM, is too late so she develops a second wind. This means that when she awakens, she is in a state of higher neurological arousal and this directly causes her to have difficulty napping. She has “sleep inertia” upon awakening form some of her naps so she looks “cranky”. Because she is in a state of higher neurological arousal, even though she is tired, she is unable to return to sleep after a brief nap. Remember, when she naps is most important. Nap quality depends on whether it is or is not in synch with circadian rhythms.

What would you suggest?

Marc

Sleep Consult is available on iBook as well as an audiobook on iTunes

Enjoy!

-Dan and Marc

1. How difficult were my suggestions to implement?

Mom: I had a difficult time with your initial recommendations since we would have needed to make such drastic changes. I wasn’t able to leave the house for the naps or let her cry it out for an extended period of time. However, once you gave us the go ahead to make some modifications, I was able to follow the basic schedule.

Dad: I found it difficult at first from an emotional standpoint to let her “cry it out” because she is generally a happy baby and I wasn’t used to seeing her crying a whole lot. But I got more comfortable with it when I started to see her sleeping schedule improve by implemented these changes. The most difficult part now is that we have to adapt our own plans around her sleeping/nap schedule, so we no longer have the same flexibility that we used to have. But that is what parenting is all about, and we realize that.

2. How quickly did you see some improvement?

Mom: We saw improvement immediately! I could not believe how quickly she started going to bed by 7:00 PM and sleeping through the night. She also started going down for morning naps without a fuss.

Dad: We saw improvement very early on in the process (probably within a few days) – her sleeping scheduled changed much more quickly than we anticipated.

3. What have you learned from this experience?

Mom: Consistency is key. By establishing a bedtime routine and by putting her down at approximately the same time every night, her body quickly adjusted to the new sleep schedule. I also learned that as a parent of a young child, my schedule needs to revolve around my daughter’s schedule, and a schedule incorporates more than just the feedings. Prior to this experience, I planned my day around her feedings, and the naps were an after thought. Finally, I learned to put her to sleep before becoming overtired.

Dad: The biggest thing I learned from the process was how important a good napping schedule during the day is to establishing a good sleeping schedule at night. It seems counterintuitive that establishing a good nap schedule during the day will help lead to earlier, healthier bedtimes; after all, I always assumed that if a baby doesn’t nap much during the day, she would be more tired early in the evening and “conk out” for a long sleep. I guess I had it wrong.

4. What advice would you give to parents facing sleep issues?

Mom: I would advise parents to clear their calendar (or their caregiver’s calendar) and dedicate their day to establishing a sleep schedule. I would speak to them about how night sleeping and napping are related, and one cannot be addressed without also addressing the other. I would encourage them to stay committed as improvement will come.

Dad: The biggest piece of advice I would give is that parents need to be willing to make personal sacrifices and adapt their own schedules if they truly want to address the child’s sleep issues. It is a 24-hour responsibility instead of just an “evening responsibility” to soothe your child to sleep at the hour of your choosing.

5. What do you say to people who state that it is cruel to let your child cry, that your child will learn to not trust you, or that he will feel abandoned?

Mom: Although this is still difficult for me, I know that it is not harmful for the child to cry it out. By crying it out, the child will learn to self-soothe which will lead to better sleeping patterns.

Dad: I would say that although letting your child cry is difficult at first and goes against your instinct as a parents, it is really important in the child’s development process in teaching himself how to self-soothe. And once the child learns how to soothe himself to sleep, it will make life easier for everyone involved.

6. How has the sleep training process impacted your child?

Mom: She is now a well rested child who is receiving better quality night sleep and napping on a schedule during the day. She no longer falls asleep during every stroller ride or during feeds. She wakes in the morning happy and is very alert. Finally, she is fussing less before naps and bedtime, requiring less soothing.

Dad: I feel that she appears to be more well-rested and gets to sleep more easily that she used to before we started the sleep training. She seems to be a happier baby than she was before. Also, I now notice that she doesn’t cry right away when she wakes up in the morning, nor does she insist on being fed right after waking up (even after over 12 hours without a feeding) – it’s kind of cute to see her playing with herself and talking to herself through the video monitor before I take her out of the crib in the morning. Overall, the process has helped make her a healthier and happier baby.

7. How has the sleep training process impacted you as an individual, a parent and the marriage?

Mom: I now plan my schedule around her naps and bedtime. Her naps and early bedtime are a priority, meaning that we are now spending more time in the apartment and I’m able to do less running around during the day. Since she is going to bed early, I am delighted to have the free time at night. As previously mentioned, I had difficulty with the initial proposal; however, as a parent, I know that letting her cry in her crib is in her best interest. I feel that by putting her on a healthy sleeping schedule, I am being a better parent. As for the marriage, after a few initial disagreements, we are getting along well. Because of this process, she is going to bed early and we are back to spending time together at night. This alone time together at night will just continue to strengthen our marriage.

Dad: I certainly found it difficult at first because I had some disagreements with my wife about how to apply your approach, and my fatherly instinct is always to help console my daughter when she is crying. But as she has adjusted her schedule, it has become easier to get her to sleep. I miss spending time with her at night after getting home from work and I miss giving her baths and having her join us for dinner, but I am getting used to a different routine now. I am now always the one to take her out of her crib in the morning, change her diaper, play with her for a little while, then hand her over to my wife to feed her. It has become special daddy-daughter time that I am learning to cherish. As for me and my wife, I have noted some of the disagreements we had with each other about the approach earlier on, but I am generally very happy with how my wife has done in the process. We are also really enjoying the time we get to spend with each other at night, especially cooking and eating dinner as a couple, and we now go to bed often at the same time, which hasn’t really happened since I went back to work after our daughter was born.

8. Currently, are there any areas of disagreements regarding the path we have been on?

Mom: As you know, we had difficulty with your plan for the first weekend. He and I argued as to how we were going to implement your recommendations. However, I feel that we were able to work through our own disagreements and work with you to modify the plan. Currently, there are no disagreements.

Dad: We were more comfortable with taking a gradual approach to her new sleeping schedule rather than drastic changes right away. At times when she has difficulty sleeping today, we will initially let her soothe herself to sleep and cry for a while, but there does come a point when we feel that she needs a parent to help soothe her and one of us will try to help her to sleep. It is a hybrid approach that we know probably isn’t ideal, but is one that we are most comfortable with.

Happy Babies Appear Happier When They Sleep Better!

April 5. Overall, I am pleased with how happy she appears to be, so it’s not quite apparent to me that her sleep schedule is negatively impacting her.

April 15. She seems to be an even happier baby than she was before.

Sleep Consult is available on iBook as well as an audiobook on iTunes

Enjoy!

-Dan and Marc

April 5. Mom: Overall, I am pleased with how “happy she appears to be, so it’s not quite apparent to me that her sleep schedule is negatively impacting her. Dad: From a selfish perspective, I kind of like that she goes to sleep late because I get to spend some good quality time with her after I get home from work.

April 8. Her bedtime has been much earlier the past week and the past two nights she seemed ready for bed by 8; I take responsibility for putting her down closer to 9. Dad is more willing to let her cry at night than mom.

April 9. We just don’t feel comfortable making such a dramatic change so quickly that would create stress for all of us given her recent improvement.

MW: No problem. Let’s go more slowly. How about trying to approximate my schedule and plan but modify it so you feel comfortable. For example, do check and console or graduated extinction instead of extinction? Some elements of my plan might be implemented now and others delayed. You choose.

April 9 & 10. Asleep at 7:30PM I wasn’t emotionally able to leave the house.

April 11. Asleep at 6:30PM Today, she went down for a nap without any soothing!

April 12. Dad: I followed your advice about making sure I get to bed earlier so I can spend more time with her in the morning. I did so last night, so I woke up at 6Am this morning, showered and got dressed, then by the time I went to her crib at 6:30 she was wide awake. So I used the next 45 minutes or so to just spend time with her, play with her and make her laugh (while mom slept)-it was such a joy!

April 14. Dad: I never thought we would get to the point so quickly where she would be sleeping for 11-12 hours straight on a consistent basis without a feeding. I found it more difficult than I thought I would to let her cry for an extended period of time before falling to sleep. I also feel that the process makes it more difficult to do things during the day because we had to start revolving our schedule around her nap schedule. But I still think it’s worth the inconvenience because we can see the results of our effort. Mom: Previously, I had made attempts to get her to bed earlier but I don’t think I was fully dedicated to the process. My day typically revolved around her feeding schedule, with naps being an afterthought. I am amazed how quickly we were able to turn around her night sleep and how she often goes down without a fuss for naps.

April 15. Mom: She is receiving more sleep and better quality sleep; we have established a routine during the day, and she is fussing less before naps and bedtime so she requires less soothing from me. I can’t believe that I actually have my nights back! I’m still amazed and in awe of the fact that my child is consistently going to be at 7 or before. The process has changed the way I plan my day and caused me to stay in the apartment when I would have been tempted to take her out; however, I am so happy about the sleep changes, that I am fine with planning our outings, appointments, and classes around her nap schedule. As my husband mentioned, the process has also put a dent into our social calendar, but we realize that this is what parenting is all about. In fact, we cancelled dinner plans last night, because we did not want her to fall asleep in a restaurant in her stroller. As you mentioned in your book, she can no longer be our little accessory that we tote everywhere. We were very much guilty of this, since so many of the places near our apartment are baby friendly. Despite our initial disagreements, my husband and I are getting along well and happy to spend alone time together.

Dad: She is now going to bed much earlier than she was 2-3 weeks ago, and she is consistently getting 3 naps a day. She appears to be more well-rested and gets to sleep more easily than she used to. She seems to be an even happier baby than she was before. I miss spending time with her at night after getting home from work and I miss giving her baths and having her join us for dinner, but I am getting used to a different routine now. I am now always the one to take her out of her crib in the morning, change her diaper, play with her for a little while, then hand her over to my wife to feed her. It has become special daddy-daughter time that I am learning to cherish. My wife and I are also really enjoying the time we get to spend with each other at night, especially cooking and eating dinner as a couple, and we now go to bed often at the same time, which hasn’t really happened since I went back to work after our daughter was born. One change we are still struggling with a bit is our ability to go out to dinner as a family at night. We now know this will be difficult going forward (if we want to get her to sleep by 7) unless we go a lot earlier, maybe 5pm or so.

Here is our sleep solution.

1. Starting Friday night, April 8, temporarily, lights off at 5:30PM. Mom can nurse her to sleep Friday night but at 5:30 PM, mom leaves the room whether she is awake, drowsy or asleep. If she cries then or later, we let her cry. Do what you normally do for soothing but at 5:30PM mom is walking out of the room. We are putting her to sleep before she gets a second wind. Anytime after 9:30PM, if you think she is hungry, dad goes in to offer a bottle but does no soothing. You are prepared to feed her once and only once overnight. If she cries anytime between 5:30PM and about 6AM, she is ignored completely. Your expectation is that there will be multiple bouts of crying on the 1st night in the 45-55 minute range and on the 2nd night it might be a little longer or a little less. By the 3rd night it should be in the 20-40 minute range and by the 4th-5th night, no crying. Crying is a means to an end: better quality night sleep. Go to bed earlier yourselves on these 5 nights. Commit to 5 nights and remember absolutely zero attention. If you have reservations about doing this, read the relevant posts on weissbluthmethod.wordpress.com. Crying is hard but sleeplessness is harder! Be discrete in talking about this to your friends because you do not want to elicit negative comments to undercut your confidence that we are helping her sleep better.

2. Saturday.

Do not go to her until about 6AM. If she is asleep at 6AM, do not wake her. But at 7AM, if she is asleep, wake her. Our goal is to keep her up until about 9AM even if she had been up before 6AM. 9AM is our goal and if you feel she is totally exhausted before 9AM, put her down before 9AM. Our goal is that she is put down in her crib drowsy but awake to begin to learn self-soothing skills but if she falls asleep during soothing, put her down in her crib anyway. Try to shorten the duration of soothing so that she is drowsy but awake when you put her down. Our goal is that dad puts her down and mom leaves the house for naps this week-end. She will learn self-soothing faster and cry less if dad puts her down and mom is gone. Make sure that her room is pitch black. Use black plastic leaf bags and paper tape if needed to make the room pitch black. Use a white noise machine if street noises intrude. If she cries when she is put down, she is left alone for one hour. For one hour, she is ignored with the hope she will fall asleep.

This entire process is exactly repeated between 12-1PM. If she does not nap or briefly naps, than think of 12-1PM as a goal not a rigid rule and she might go down at 11AM. But going forward, our goal is 12-1PM. Remember, when she naps is more important than how long she naps.

We do not let her nap at any other times. No car or stroller rides which would knock her out.

Saturday night. Mom can nurse, pass her, pass her to dad and leave the house. Dad does brief soothing and attempts to put her down drowsy but awake at 5:30PM.

3. Sunday and Sunday night the process is repeated.

Monday, mom will be putting her down for her naps and can nurse before the naps and night sleep but try to shorten the duration of nursing so that she is drowsy but awake when she is put in her crib for the naps and night sleep. Otherwise, everything else is the same.

The 5:30 PM bedtime will drive everything to a quick solution and it is temporary. Dad will not see her at night during this training period so it is essential that dad (and mom) go to sleep earlier so that dad can have morning time with his daughter. Bathing, playing, dressing, and feeding in the morning with dad will be fun in the morning. As naps emerge and lengthen, the bedtime most likely will be later but this might take several days or a couple of weeks.

Please read all of this twice because you are both a little sleep deprived. In general, if you are 80% consistent, then you are perfect parents because we are not robots. But for the next 5 days, try to be 100% consistent.

Sleep Consult #4

5-6 months

Refuses to nap in her crib unless she falls asleep while nursing.

Disagreement between parents?

Her bedtime, 11PM, is too late so she develops a second wind. This means that she is in a state of higher neurological arousal and this directly causes her to have difficulty self-soothing at night. She typically falls asleep around this time while being nursed. This means that when she crashes from exhaustion at 10-11PM, she does not do or is unable to do any self-soothing. Also, she still tends to wake up once (sometimes twice) in the middle of the night and cries a bit because she is over-tired.

She awakens around 6 AM sleep deprived (Upon waking in the morning, she typically whines or fusses) because her night sleep duration is too short and she remains in this high state of neurological arousal. After about an hour, you bring her back to bed with you and sleep until late in the morning. During the day, she refuses to nap in her crib unless she falls asleep while I am nursing her. This means that she may have up to 10 hours of wakefulness during the day. I realize this is not healthy.

I do know that it is difficult to get her on a regular nap schedule during the day. Because her bedtime is too late she wakes up in the morning too tired to nap well. Because she falls asleep at the breast, she has not learned self-soothing skills that are needed to nap well.

Mother: Her sleep issues have impacted my relationship with my husband since we have spent minimal alone time together. Father: I also think it will be better for my relationship with my wife if our daughter goes to bed early so that (1) we get to spend more time with each other at night, and (2) we go to bed at the same time at night, especially the weekends.

What would you suggest?

Marc

Sleep Consult is available on iBook as well as an audiobook on iTunes

Enjoy!

-Dan and Marc

Method A. After soothing your baby for several minutes, you always put your baby down to sleep, whether she is or is not yet asleep. Your goal is to put your baby down drowsy but awake. The soothing is a wind-down transition from light to dark, active to quiet, alert to drowsy, soothing may include breast or bottle-feeding. Result: Your baby learns how to soothe herself to sleep without being held. This allows your baby to fall asleep by herself in a crib.

If you approve of this method, you may use positive judgmental terms such as independence, learning self soothing skills or acquiring the capacity to be alone. If you disapprove of this method, you may use negative judgmental terms such as unnatural, insecurity, abandonment, neglect, or controlling.

Method B. You always hold or rock your baby until he is in a deep sleep. You may then lie down with your baby, hold your baby during his nap, or put him down only after he is in a deep sleep.

Result: Your baby learns to associate the process of falling asleep with your breast as a pillow, your body rhythm, and your body odor or a swing. Your baby may have difficulty falling asleep by himself in his crib.

If you approve of this method, you may use positive judgmental terms such as natural, security, 24-hour parenting. If you disapprove of this method, you may use negative judgmental terms such as dependence, spoiling.

One method is not better than another; therefore, there is no reason to use these judgmental terms.

Be decisive, choose a method of soothing style, and be consistent. There is no right or wrong Method, bur consistency helps your baby sleep well because the process of falling asleep is learned behavior. Frequently switching between Method A and Method B confuses your baby and interferes with your baby learning how to nap. Parents and baby-sitters should what is comfortable for them, but they should be consisten in the Method that they use.

Advice: Method A is more likely to work if you start early (as soon as you come home from the hospital), if the intervals of wakefulness are brief (before a second wind develops), especially in the morning after only one hour of wakefulness, and fathers or others are involved in the soothing process. But Method B still might be needed in the evening around 6 weeks after the due date when fussiness peaks. At 6 weeks then, consistency might be thought of as Method A during the day and Method B at bedtime.

Advice: If you have more than one child, it is very difficult to consistently use Method B. Therefore, please consider employing Method A. An exception might be if you have full-time help.

Advice: Most first-time parents initially find Method B more comfortable, but they do not anticipate that later, when the baby is bigger or when they want to do other things during naps, their baby will have to learn Method A. Switching from Method B to Method A may be stressful for you and your baby and involve some crying, or your baby might make the change without any difficulty at all.

Advice: Parents of colicky babies initially find Method B to be easier because colicky babies are more wakeful and more irregular than other babies. This means that it is harder for these babies to settle down to sleep unassisted and it is harder for their parents to predict those times when they need to sleep. This usually results in prolonged soothing efforts and if parents try to switch methods later, it may be very stressful to the entire family. I think that when families have the resources (heroic efforts or extra hands) to help a colicky baby stay fairly well rested, then the switch from method B to Method A around 3-4 months of age is easier. You may try Method A throughout the day, but you may abandon your efforts during a well-defined wakeful or fussy period in the evening until the baby is 3-4 months of age. During a fussy period, do whatever works best to soothe your baby.

Marc