Asa Rodriguez's Blog

Going in

Internalizing everything is how we become better human beings. Inquiring why this, and why that. Questioning reality as you have always seen it. Pondering your childhood, your adulthood, your present. Your hardships, your suffering, your confusion, your self-pity are all doorways to understanding yourself and your life.

Self-awareness grows when we stop complaining and blaming the world, and instead we examine what is better for us moving forward. You take a look at yourself and see your flaws, your weaknesses, and every belief and opinion that is keeping you chained to a rigid state of mind.

The Source

Every issue and problem, from a moment of confusion in a person to arguments in a loving marriage, and even beyond it, is about understanding yourself, about self-awareness. It is never about someone else. Not in terms of the way you feel. Let others worry about themselves.

The source of anxiety, of confusion, of hate, of love, of happiness, is always you, is always your own mind, and is always about how self-aware you are. Because it all starts with the words you say in your mind. These words are created by you. If you do not understand this, then you might blame someone else.

But blaming someone else will keep you always as the victim. The victim can never be satisfied with the world, in love with oneself, or truly happy in life. Only winners can reach 100% fulfilment. This “winning” state requires your complete inwards attention, and it requires your uniqueness.

What is love?? What is a life well lived?? What is happiness and Joy?? It is you and me. It is us. Because there really exists nothing else. But the mind makes all these obstacles, and it manifests the fears it carries. How does it manifest them?? It all has been the same from the beginning of mankind.

By making up a god and gods. By making up devils and demons. By creating limits and impossibilities. Your mind says you are not enough. And then, the flower does not bloom. The sun does not shine. Love has turned to fear. Nothing feels right in our lives.

So, you feel broken, undeserving, unattractive, alone. And you feel like an outsider, like something is wrong with you, like others have it right and you don’t. That way you feel, the details of the burdens you carry, is the illusion that is unique to you.

But if you can just detach yourself from the fear, let go of the doomsday scenarios, you can then become weightless and free. You could bloom like a flower, and the sun could always shine on you.

It does not matter what happens in the world, to others, to what is around you, your life can be magic if you transform your mind from within. Many know this. Just a very few actually become free and detached from their illusions. Each moment, you, and only you, decide who you want to be.

To whom it may concern. Because life can be messy, conflicting, confusing, and there is no path set or destiny to straighten you while you live it. You may pretend, claim to be this or that, decorate well your outside for others to see. People do this every day. But this only adds fuel to the spirit of self-neglect, until you realize the core of your own life.

And that’s because, above all, your life is no more than your mind. The world and all its experiences are the result of billions of minds, of billions of people like you trying to find themselves in what others have brought into the world already. Neglecting yourself is only trying to find yourself in the world, in the reality others have created.

One can travel places, amass fortunes, become religious, study all kinds of knowledge, jump from relationship to relationship, have families and follow traditions. But all the messy, the conflicting, the doubt, the hurt, will remain until you let go of the world and its fake and marketed exploration of the self.

It’s impossible to find who you really are out there, because the noisy world is not a perfect mirror of yourself. The world, as created by man, everywhere, is about selling you something. That is how societies thrive. Whether selling you engaging experiences, manufactured emotions, religious fanaticism, ancient or new philosophies, objects you do not really need.

But, know this, the only thing that is real is your mind, because there you find the source of the hurt, of the excitement, of the fear, of the passions, of everything that makes your feel and behavior. It is extremely personal. And if you can study, daily, your mind, then you can see and feel how you are nothing like the world, how above it you are, and how there are millions of shadows and burdens living in your psyche that are not you.

Mainly it is what we observe that affects us. A healthy brain works as it is supposed to work, if there is no genetic abnormality. But what we observe forms our minds, our mindsets, our thoughts. If we observe poverty, that is all we can imagine for ourselves. If we observe neglectful, painful, dramatic situations in our lives, then that is all we feel we deserve in our lives.

It’s very difficult to transcend this level of unawareness for most people. It is what we form in our minds. What we see and hear form what we think. And, if we remain unaware, we create a belief from what we see and hear. A belief that may drive us to despair, to feelings of loneliness, to feelings of unworthiness, and even to more mental and physical decay.

So, it is all what you allow yourself to create in your mind. These creations as explosions of rainbow colors will take over your mind and body. They will become your world, and they will cement your new persona. You are always changing, whether you realize it or not. So, your new persona, the way you feel, think, see yourself and the world will be brought about by the schemes of your own mind.

The way you feel, the way you are, how stuck or unstuck you believe yourself to be, is not about God, or about Satan, or about the government, or about how messed up the world is; but it is about you and how you allow your mind to form. The power goes where your attention goes.

If your attention goes to other people, to the way things are in your life right now, even to spiritual worlds, then the power stays there, outside yourself, and you always remain down, a follower, and just another victim trying to survive your own making. But if you use your attention to create your own mind, without outside crutches, then you raise above your old self, above the world and any influence.

It’s easy to be upset, and to remain upset. It’s easier to destroy than to create. Remaining upset means holding onto what happened, to your desire to blame everyone and everything but yourself, to escape responsibility or any change to move on. Holding on feels good, because it does not take effort from you, and it doesn’t bring change, and it means you are right.

PROVING as in facts, not opinions or feelings. And facts can only be experienced if you remain unchained from the old, from old views, from old feelings, from all blind faith, and from whatever makes your thinking bias and your spirit unable to soar to new heights. See, whatever we think is keeping us down, or keeping us feeling this way, or keeping us in pain, or thinking that we are going nowhere. It is always us.

Moving on though creates uncertainty, because your feelings evolve, things change, new things happen, and it takes courage to let go and experience new feelings and the possibility of being wrong or mistaken. But, as it really is, experiencing life is moving on, adapting, changing to new perspectives, PROVING to yourself if you were wrong or not.

And what makes you see this truth is perspective. So, if you decide to remain the way you are, or holding on to the way you think and believe now, then your perspective is always the same and it will not change. But if decide, even though it may be hard for you, to change, to let go of pride, to leave the past, to create new beliefs and new ways to see life, then your mind shifts and your perspective changes.

And, in time, as your perspective changes, so does your heart, which means the way you truly feel about yourself and all existence changes as well. And now your spirit soars to new heights, to heights you had no idea existed before. And then there is a new, constant feeling of wellness in you, not the roller coaster of good moments and bad ones. But true happiness and true love that you, and only YOU, have created.

Imagination…

No one knows what will happen. No one can see what did not happen yet. Imaginations based on the past, on knowledge, on fears, on desires, are very common. A belief. An opinion. A thought born from emotions. Nothing is real, until you make it, or not, happen. Did this ever happen to you…?? Is it happening to you..??

So many obstacles you create for yourself, that, obviously, seem real to you. I recall when I used to let the pressures of society, of the world around me dictate how I felt about myself, about my life, and about my direction in life. And it only brought these chains and fears, disappointments and indecisions into my life.

Reality…

But there is no bigger obstacle than the one created by ourselves. There are always going to be people who have different views, and personal difficulty with change, and personal financial challenges, and so-called “broken hearts”, and so on and so forth. And there is no bigger enemy than our own minds, and the attachment to a belief or opinion we may hold there.

What is real is not in the mind, or in the heart, or out there in some nonsense heaven. What is real, and the capacity for success and progress, is in our actions, in our behaviors, in our daily habits. We have to take a chance. We have to leave the fear and change our thinking. Our values, what we deserve, what we want means nothing, unless we act on it accordingly.

It’s a long journey…

…And why should you quit?? That is extremely personal. What is it really worth to you?? What are the true benefits for you, for your life?? Is it messing with your mind too much, stressing you too much?? Are you willing to be patient and committed for a long time, maybe months, maybe years, maybe even decades??

Answers to these, very personal questions should only be based in how you feel, not in the expectations of society or anybody else. But, in finding the answers, one must let go of anger, pride, past trauma and disappointment, and let go of any other egotistical burden the mind carries. Big decisions, those that may be life changing for us, or those that we consider really important, have to be understood without bias.

It’s about your liberation…

If you don’t give up, then you learn. If you learn, then your mind and perspective expands. And if that happens, then you liberate yourself a little bit more. And then a little bit more. And in that process, which is a process of love and compassion for the self, of wanting better and more for your self, then you awaken a little more, and strengthen yourself a little more, and liberate yourself from your own darkness a little more.

And we all carry darkness, obviously, which is a good thing. Any darkness we carry is light that we have made opaque over the years, growing up, experiencing trauma and suffering. That is when life turns really beautiful: when we understand our own darkness and do what we must to find that liberation.

And about adaptation

If there is no liberation of the self, it doesn’t matter what you do, you will not be truly happy and you will continue with sorrows and fears. Because true happiness is a long, arduous, at times extremely confusing journey of your self; and it is only found through liberation. But, like I said, it is very personal; so you have to ask yourself the tough questions first.

Because to answer them is a long journey that requires your full commitment and the biggest self-love; which means you have to adapt to new ways of thinking about yourself and the world. Most people fail, give up, do not even care, or get distracted along the way. …So, are you like most people…??

It’s about perspective…

Giving up can bring us feelings of inadequacy and failure. It sometimes can become our go-to pattern, even in other aspects of life. But sometimes you just have to stop and observe yourself, your path, your desires, what is really important to you and what is not.

Because sometimes you just have to broaden your perspective of things, analyze a new path to take, see what is really worth your time and effort. If you look at it carefully, without any bias in your mind, then you may question yourself, your feelings and intentions, the intentions and influence others have on you.

It’s about what is better for you…

This is quite liberating. It is about the discovery you, and only you, make. No noise. No pressure. Just you in the center of your life, taking your time, and doing things your way. Most of the time, what truly works, what makes you feel empowered and liberated from stress, is doing things your way.

And doing things your way, creating your own perspective and purpose is what your mind needs to fall in love with yourself and with your life. No one out there knows what is better for you but you through self-reflection. There is no truth but perceptions. God and Satan are real, if that is your perception.

It’s about observing

A particular political party over the other carries the truth, if that is your perception. The Earth is flat, if that is your perception. You can never achieve more, if that is your perception. This is right and that is wrong, if that is your perception. Love is perfect, if that is your perception.

But perceptions are ideas, ideals, thoughts and feelings either created by you or by another. So, from time to time, it is very intelligent to stop and observe your own perceptions and let go the ones you carried for most of your life. See it as your mind cleaning itself.

It’s about change…

Perceptions must change, because life is a constant cycle of change. Whatever stays still is useless, creates burdens, heaviness, suffering, dissonance, and attachment. So, one must always change, learn, see things differently, and evolve with each day that passes.

The ones who change, and allow themselves new perspectives to go along with this change, are the ones who will succeed in life, will be in love, and will be truly happy. The idea is to form perceptions that are truly yours, not carry burdens from others or created by others. This is the only path to liberation in life, and one that cannot be taught to you by anyone else.

Rigidity

No matter who you are, or your situation in life, the enemy is always there, because your ego is always there. So, the enemy of happiness, of love, of intelligence, of understanding, and of progress as an individual in life is all about mental obstacles.

Mental obstacles make us rigid, ignorant, unable to see truth, and fearful of any change around us. Attaching ourselves to a specific belief, idea, tradition, romantic notion, and perspective in life is what creates mental obstacles.

Evolution

There is no barrier bigger than attachment. That nagging and egocentric feeling created in us that says we are right–i.e., right about our beliefs, about our religion, about our politics, about our ideals, about our perspectives and ways to live life.

With any attachment comes suffering, because attachment means a rigid and bias mental state. Life itself is evolution, new ways to see life, welcoming the new, challenging yourself with things that make you uncomfortable. Your mind must change in order to evolve. The world around you changes. So why would you not change and evolve with it??

Difference

Too many people dislike others because they have different religions, and politics, and different ways to see life. But the truth is that there is not one way to be. There are differences in life because people are born and raised in different ways and conditions.

So, you may see and hear Republicans, Democrats, the rich, the poor, the criminal, the non-criminal, the hundreds of religions in the world. So, ask yourself: Why so much difference?? Because people are scared, lonely, irritated, in pain; so they create all these based in their perspectives.

Personal Growth

But no one is right to judge another, because you haven’t been raised in the same way. And there is no right or wrong really, but only perspectives. So, to be free means to understand this, because with this understanding you grow in intelligence. But if you are attached to anything at all, then your rigid mind will see the differences in the world and make you hate them.

And the more you hate, the more you distance yourself from personal growth. And without personal growth, you cannot reach any true love, happiness, or intelligence in life. Intelligence is seeing and understanding the world with its many differences, but it starts from understanding yourself and your own attachment.

What is contentment…??

Contentment is about focusing on what you have and paying attention to its meaning. A person is content in his life by looking at himself and realizing whatever he has achieved, whether big or small. Do you have health?? Do you have friends?? Do you have a good relationship with others?? Do you have dreams and a vision to work towards them?? Have you left past pain and acknowledged inner strength??

Why?? Why not?? Contentment is reached by asking yourself these questions and realizing the blessings you have right now, whether big or small. We all have something in our lives that we enjoy, that inspires us. But happiness is achieved by action more than by self-realization. Inner realization is important, of course; however, happiness in life is created by actions that add to your contentment. If you feel content, then you have taken a giant step.

What is happiness…??

Happiness is about pursuing goals, dreams, visions. I am happy because my mind is occupied with my pursuit of health; therefore, I create habits, rules, strategies, actions daily towards health. More than wishing for health, I act towards it by exercising, by consuming more healthy foods, and by disciplining my body and mind to adapt to these actions. The goal of making money, of being a better spouse, of being more knowledgeable–all is the same. You must create habits, action, discipline towards goals.

We have been born to achieve things, perspectives, ambitions, goals, etc. Happiness lies in the process of actual pursuit. Happiness is not passive, but it is active. The feeling of happiness is like a vehicle: A vehicle’s only purpose is to move from point A to point B. Yes, it is nice to look at a shiny car; but if it doesn’t move, run, take you here and there, it is useless. And a person also feels useless if he doesn’t work toward goals–whatever these are.

What is it about…??

It’s not about the actual achievement per se, but about focusing your energy, your time, your direction in life. Creating that feeling in you of accomplishment, of being good at something you like, of following your passions and desires. This feeling is nourished by your mindset, by your actions, by your efforts. It’s all about growing that feeling in you. It’s all about being able to tell yourself “I am working hard towards this and I am creating steps to achieve my goals”.

And this is something that you create in you. It has nothing to do with others. Creating happiness in your life is about you and your pursuits. If you lean on others, or if your happiness depends on the events around you, then you are not in control, which means you are not really creating your happiness but just wishing for it. Many of you won’t understand this. Many of you will understand it. But just know that to be happy, you must create action. You love yourself, others, life, by creating the right action.