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Prachi Gangwani
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in New Delhi, India
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June 2020
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More books by Prachi Gangwani…
How To Not Let The Internet Distract You From Achieving Your Writing Goals
If the Internet was a person, it would be a controlling, domineering, entitled man but one who has enough accolades to be hero-worshipped by the masses; one who, like the Ambani’s or the Rockefeller’s, manipulates the fate of those who never have and never will cross paths with him. A man who has a looming presence, even in his absence, as if, if we manage to piss him off for merely existing, we’l
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“Every relationship is a learning experience. With every dalliance, fling, lustful adventure and heartfelt love, we learn something about others, about relationships, and most importantly, about our own selves.”
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“I wonder if this fantasy of having a ‘harem’ is a disastrous byproduct of men’s conditioning to acquire things, and social structures that treat women as ‘things’. Men are collectors. They buy gadgets they don’t really need, adorn watches that cost more than the monthly income of the majority of the country’s population, and treat their cars as status symbols. As we have seen, men across all ages tend to treat women (girlfriends, wives, escorts or a harem) as trophies that elevate their status in some way. To many men, women continue to be possessions, even if these men may not be controlling or possessive or otherwise abusive.”
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Prachi Gangwani
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“Thanks to smart phones and the Internet, the way we meet someone new, fall in love, have fights and have sex has changed remarkably. We can be in bed in crushed pyjamas and a bag of Doritos in one hand, and with the other, swipe right on the next person we end up with. Flirting has taken the form of sending memes and lifted the burden of being witty and romantic. And seduction…well, seduction has been reduced to dirty text messages and reluctant nudes. It’s all high-speed and low effort.”
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“Back when we lived together, we had a couch in the room, which played a central role in our marriage. Two roles, actually, that became foundational bricks. For Karan, it was a dumping ground - for the damp towel, dirty socks, smelly t-shirts, laptop bag, and the resentments he had against me, which he buried under the cushion. For me, it was a sounding board - I would sit on it and write in my journal all the things I chose not to say out loud to Karan. I would hide the journal under the cushion, along with Karan’s pile of resentments. Now that the marriage was over, there was no room for his grudges and my confessions. And no room for a couch in the bedroom.”
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
“I wonder if this fantasy of having a ‘harem’ is a disastrous byproduct of men’s conditioning to acquire things, and social structures that treat women as ‘things’. Men are collectors. They buy gadgets they don’t really need, adorn watches that cost more than the monthly income of the majority of the country’s population, and treat their cars as status symbols. As we have seen, men across all ages tend to treat women (girlfriends, wives, escorts or a harem) as trophies that elevate their status in some way. To many men, women continue to be possessions, even if these men may not be controlling or possessive or otherwise abusive.”
― Dear Men: Masculinity and Modern Love in #MeToo India
― Dear Men: Masculinity and Modern Love in #MeToo India
“A woman’s honour is usually tied with curbing her sexuality; similarly a man’s masculinity is about flaunting it. While a woman must protect her honour by keeping her legs closed, quite literally, a man must demonstrate his manhood by putting on a show of his sexuality. How can the one physical act that bridges the gap between men and women be so disparate in its meaning for the two sexes?”
― Dear Men: Masculinity and Modern Love in #MeToo India
― Dear Men: Masculinity and Modern Love in #MeToo India
“Back when we lived together, we had a couch in the room, which played a central role in our marriage. Two roles, actually, that became foundational bricks. For Karan, it was a dumping ground - for the damp towel, dirty socks, smelly t-shirts, laptop bag, and the resentments he had against me, which he buried under the cushion. For me, it was a sounding board - I would sit on it and write in my journal all the things I chose not to say out loud to Karan. I would hide the journal under the cushion, along with Karan’s pile of resentments. Now that the marriage was over, there was no room for his grudges and my confessions. And no room for a couch in the bedroom.”
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
“Do you love Hemant?”
I thought about this. I never had before. Hemant, like Sanjeev, was also a habit. We spoke at a fixed hour every day, for a fixed period of time; saw each other every Tuesday and Friday and drank the same frothy cold coffee at the same cafe each time. We made love once a month when Sanjeev would go to Benares for a field visit. Come to think of it, I didn’t know Hemant all that well either. He made me laugh, and that’s why I so enjoyed his company. But, I didn’t know what his childhood was like or how close he was to his sisters. Just that he had three. So, did I love Hemant? No.”
― Sheela Ji's Woes : A Lockdown Love Story
I thought about this. I never had before. Hemant, like Sanjeev, was also a habit. We spoke at a fixed hour every day, for a fixed period of time; saw each other every Tuesday and Friday and drank the same frothy cold coffee at the same cafe each time. We made love once a month when Sanjeev would go to Benares for a field visit. Come to think of it, I didn’t know Hemant all that well either. He made me laugh, and that’s why I so enjoyed his company. But, I didn’t know what his childhood was like or how close he was to his sisters. Just that he had three. So, did I love Hemant? No.”
― Sheela Ji's Woes : A Lockdown Love Story
“Eighteen is a terrible age to meet the one you’d spend the rest of your life with. You don’t even know who you are yet, and you believe every lie that grown-ups whip up for you.”
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
“Checklists are often conceived in the aftermath of experiences. You don’t make a travel checklist until you’ve had a vacation where you realise only once you’ve checked in to your hotel room that you forgot to carry traveler’s cheques. You don’t realise you need to have a classic black outfit in your wardrobe unless you’re invited to a black-tie event, and have nothing to wear. You don’t know that a toxic boss is just as harmful to your mental health as a toxic relationship until you’ve had both. You don’t know what’s going to break your heart unless your heart has been broken.”
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
― Together Again?: A Lockdown Love Story
