Monika Basile's Blog: Confessions of a Bleeding Heart - Posts Tagged "kindness"
Cookies and Beans
There was a time when I was a young mother that we had very little—little enough that a church basket gave both the feeling of humiliation and utter gratefulness.
Inside the basket were your typical items; a few cans of green beans and corn, instant potatoes, gravy mix, a ham etc., and something extraordinary—a bag of Oreo cookies. Oreo’s had always been and are my favorite. I remember holding them and trying to figure out when the last time I had one was and I couldn’t recall it. I was grateful for every bit of food that was given, but I was in wonder over the kind soul who thought to put an indulgence in a donation basket. I was incredulous to think that someone actually considered that even people coming from a place of need are deserving of some indulgence and they are deserving of our best.
I am thankful I have learned that lesson early on. I am grateful too that I have witnessed this phenomenon in others.
A woman once told me a story of her father, and how her brothers and she had given him a beautiful cashmere coat for Christmas. The father saw a homeless man on the street. He pulled that coat from his shoulders and wrapped it around the man. The children were all upset; reminding him they could have gotten his old coat and given that away. The father told his children, “When we give, we are to give our best and not our cast offs. Even a man without a coat deserves the best coat to keep him warm. I can get another coat.” The woman was overcome and never forgot what her father had done that day. (I don’t know what the brothers thought about it all as I only knew the woman.)
I get it. A lot of people get it and not enough people get it. We are to give our best and even more important, we are to know that all deserve our best.
We are not to hand the cast offs from our soul to others and expect them then to kiss our shoes. What is truly amazing is that even those receiving the least from others can still be so grateful. These are the good people of the world. How can anyone not want to make a life better? To add the joy of a luxury—like Oreo’s or a beautiful coat is the extra part of remembering someone is human. Filling basic needs of another is humanity—doing so with kindness and respect and a generous spirit—is what makes the giver human.
We should be giving each person in our life the best parts of ourselves and not just the leftovers. We should be fulfilling each need that we are capable of filling. What we don’t realize is that if every human being did this—no one would be needy or lacking or doing without any of the important things.
Sometimes all we can give is our time, a kind word, a smile or a simple hello. How much sweeter it is to go through the day giving away hope than ignoring someone who needs us. And guess what? It costs nothing! It takes nothing from us in any way to give the best of ourselves. We only need to realize how much we actually have to offer and take that first step. Being generous is giving more than is needed or expected. It is opening yourself up to knowing the person next to you is just as valuable as you are no matter where they are, where they have come from or where they are going to.
Giving is not unselfish. It makes you feel better. It’s a boomerang, the more you put out into the world—the better you feel just being in the world.
I don’t quite believe the old adage of you get what you give. You don’t get exactly what you give. You get something more; you get to make a difference. You get to change one small piece of the world for the good.
You get to be the bag of Oreo’s in a life filled with canned green beans.
Monika M. Basile
Inside the basket were your typical items; a few cans of green beans and corn, instant potatoes, gravy mix, a ham etc., and something extraordinary—a bag of Oreo cookies. Oreo’s had always been and are my favorite. I remember holding them and trying to figure out when the last time I had one was and I couldn’t recall it. I was grateful for every bit of food that was given, but I was in wonder over the kind soul who thought to put an indulgence in a donation basket. I was incredulous to think that someone actually considered that even people coming from a place of need are deserving of some indulgence and they are deserving of our best.
I am thankful I have learned that lesson early on. I am grateful too that I have witnessed this phenomenon in others.
A woman once told me a story of her father, and how her brothers and she had given him a beautiful cashmere coat for Christmas. The father saw a homeless man on the street. He pulled that coat from his shoulders and wrapped it around the man. The children were all upset; reminding him they could have gotten his old coat and given that away. The father told his children, “When we give, we are to give our best and not our cast offs. Even a man without a coat deserves the best coat to keep him warm. I can get another coat.” The woman was overcome and never forgot what her father had done that day. (I don’t know what the brothers thought about it all as I only knew the woman.)
I get it. A lot of people get it and not enough people get it. We are to give our best and even more important, we are to know that all deserve our best.
We are not to hand the cast offs from our soul to others and expect them then to kiss our shoes. What is truly amazing is that even those receiving the least from others can still be so grateful. These are the good people of the world. How can anyone not want to make a life better? To add the joy of a luxury—like Oreo’s or a beautiful coat is the extra part of remembering someone is human. Filling basic needs of another is humanity—doing so with kindness and respect and a generous spirit—is what makes the giver human.
We should be giving each person in our life the best parts of ourselves and not just the leftovers. We should be fulfilling each need that we are capable of filling. What we don’t realize is that if every human being did this—no one would be needy or lacking or doing without any of the important things.
Sometimes all we can give is our time, a kind word, a smile or a simple hello. How much sweeter it is to go through the day giving away hope than ignoring someone who needs us. And guess what? It costs nothing! It takes nothing from us in any way to give the best of ourselves. We only need to realize how much we actually have to offer and take that first step. Being generous is giving more than is needed or expected. It is opening yourself up to knowing the person next to you is just as valuable as you are no matter where they are, where they have come from or where they are going to.
Giving is not unselfish. It makes you feel better. It’s a boomerang, the more you put out into the world—the better you feel just being in the world.
I don’t quite believe the old adage of you get what you give. You don’t get exactly what you give. You get something more; you get to make a difference. You get to change one small piece of the world for the good.
You get to be the bag of Oreo’s in a life filled with canned green beans.
Monika M. Basile
