Rebecca Nolan's Blog - Posts Tagged "wip"
Rough draft of a story that came to me today!
Blood dripped from the paper cut and down onto the note she had been writing. Abigail cursed. Why did one simple note have to be so hard? Tear fell from her swollen eyes as she grieved the loss of this relationship. She had for all intents and purposes just slipped the noose around the hangman’s neck. It wasn’t going to work; this marriage, she knew it and somewhere deep down so did he. They were two very different people, not so blinded by love as they had once been. The thick red substance began to seep through the thin paper. Her words of rejection no longer visible. Dread filled her, making her stomach knot. Abigail didn’t want to have to do this in person, not to Michael. He was too sweet, too sensitive to handle this kind of conversation.
That was one of the reasons they didn’t work…Everything was about him. How he felt. What he wanted. La-de-fucking-da, Abigail thought her finger still bleeding. She had needs. Things that she wanted…feelings that were being left unmet. It was frustrating to say the least…but that didn’t make leaving him any easier. After all five years was a long time to just walk away. She wasn’t even sure if she really could but she had to venture out into the big wide world and see. She needed to know what it would be like to be underneath another man. To have a man take you. To have her deep seeded needs meet.
She had never dreamed she would be contemplating terminating things with Michael. All it had taken was one chance meeting. A meeting that had made her blood red hot and there hadn’t even been any sex. The man was a friend of a friend and he was visiting from out of town. Abigail could still remember the smell of his aftershave and the look in his bright blue eyes as he spoke to her. Even now, with just the fading memory Abigail felt her core clench as her sweet, hot liquid, began to seep down into her panties. Abigail knew it was wrong, to be so turned on at this moment. She felt like a whore, a cheap nasty whore and yet she wanted it, the promises the stranger had made where eating away at her. She needed to know about this other world. A world where sex wasn’t all confined to the bedroom.
Her bags where packed wanting for her at the door…all she had to do was write that Darn letter. How was it, that this ending up being the most difficult thing. Abigail sighed, if she didn’t start figuring out how to word ‘I am leaving you soon’ she was going to be forced to say it in person. Sure it was a coward move but it was the only way she was guaranteed to make it out. Abigail paced, her teeth holding her bottom lip captive as she thought. Her finger nails digging into her palms as the frustration grew.
Michael opened the front door, almost stumbling over her bags. A quizzical look upon his face. Those piercing brown eyes penetrating her line of thought.
“Oh shit,” she muttered under her breath. The one person she had hoped to avoid was now staring at her. Abigail’s chest grew tight, as though she couldn’t breathe. In a very calculated way Michael closed the door taking a step towards her.
“Going somewhere?” he mocked, watching Abigail squirm. Her throat was suddenly dry rendering her unable to speak. Michael ran his hand though his sandy hair. Frustration or maybe annoyance was written all over his face.
“So…” he started, taking another step, “I take it those bags aren’t there because you’re going on a holiday, then.”
Abigail was suffocating, the tension in the air putting extra pressure on her chest. Tears were flowing.
“I can’t do this anymore, Michael…” she managed to choke out. He fist was suddenly through the wall leaving a huge hole.
“You can’t do this…You!” He began, those eyes growing blacker “What is it you can’t do…huh. Tell me Abigail, I am all ears, because for the life of me I can’t work out what it is you can’t do, oh besides house work and argh finding a job…and let’s not forget the fact that you can’t cook.” He snapped moving closer towards her. She knew he was hurting, those words were his weapons…like always.
“Michael, I don’t want to hurt you but let’s face it this isn’t working.”
“Why is that Abigail, because it was working darn fine for me only minutes ago.”
“You can’t tell me you were honestly happy, Michael, we’re too different. We’ve grown apart these last few years…I need space.”
“I was happy Abby, you made me happy but clearly I don’t do the same for you.” He said as he slumped against the wall, his head in his hands. Abigail hated herself for doing this to him, but it really wasn’t working. If only Michael would admit to himself how unhappy he had been these last few years.
“I love you so much Abby, tell me what to do, I’ll do anything to make you stay…anything” he wept. Abigail’s insides were all kinds of messed up, she knew from so many pervious fight’s that Michael couldn’t change. Sure, he tried but he was never able to keep it going. He was who he was and Abigail was who she was. The two of them together just didn’t gel anymore.
“I think we are past that. I need to find myself outside of us and the confinements of this relationship…please understand that.”
“How am I meant to understand any of this… Don’t you care about what you are doing to me Abigail? You’re killing me right know…I hope that makes you happy.” He hissed.
“I think it is time for me to go.” Abigail whispered, tears still running down her face. Why did this have to be so hard?
Michael stood up, his arms reaching out towards her. Abigail dodged him the first time but Michael grasped onto her the second time. He was holding her close, one hand on her lower back the other at the base of her skull.
“Don’t go, Abby, please, just don’t go.” He whispered as his gazed down upon her. One hand reaching forward to wipe away the tears. Abigail shuddered against him. He was going to kiss her. She knew it was his feeble attempt at making her stay and yet, a part of her wanted him to. She wanted to feel some kind of passion from him in a kiss. And as his lips touched hers mental alarm bells sounded. It was wrong; the kiss wasn’t going to help the situation only make it worse. As much as she hated to do it, Abigail placed her arms onto his chest and pushed him away.
“Michael please, give me the time I need to find myself.” She pleaded her voice shaky.
“Go ahead. Runaway Abigail, it’s what you always do.” Michael opened the front door “Just know that if you step out that door…then that’s it, Abby. I. Am. Done. You feel me Abigail…D-O-N-E” he spat out the letters with pure animosity. Abigail stared at him, her mouth open with surprise. She could see he was shaking all over. Carefully she moved past him so that she was on the porch. Some neighbors were already gathering, trying to look casual as they watch this free show. Abruptly one of Abigail’s bags landed on the front lawn, soon followed by the next one. She turned, Michael was clearly seething inside. No doubt he never expected her to walk out the door.
“Have fun finding yourself” With that he slammed the door in her face. The neighbors were all gawking, their tongues practically hanging out of their mouths. Abigail swore she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of crying. She held her head up even though inside she was crumbling; picking up her bags she walked to her car and hopped in. There was no point in dwelling, it was time for her to move on.
Chapter 2
Abigail arrived at her mom’s house, hoping that she would have the place to herself. It was stupid to feel like this…after all she had been the one to break it off. What she needed to do was to take her mind off everything. She needed to get blind drunk , drinking always helps to numb pain. Her mom had known of her plans, the spare room was made up for her. Abigail felt a little like a loser, to be back home at age 25 was borderline embarrassing. Placing her bags onto the bed Abigail began to unpack, filling the draws. Her hands still shaking. She needed her girlfriends around her, to make her feel secure that she had done the right thing. ‘Oh God’ she thought, what if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. Fear shattering her…what was she doing. She was 25 not 18, she should know who she is…right?
Abigail’s cell phone rang, her ring tone playing ‘Sexy and I know it’ as she scrambled to find the damn thing. As always it was hidden underneath all the other crap in her purse. Sliding her finger over the hard glass frame she checked her missed calls. There were five three from her mother and two from her best friend. Quickly she texted her mother; letting her know that she was settling in nicely into the spare room. She didn’t want to cry over the phone to her mother after all. Next was to return Meg’s call, after all she was the one who had listened over and over to Abigail as she struggled to decide whether or not she should leave Michael. If it hadn’t been for Meg, Abigail might still be there, feeling suffocated. On the third ring, Meg picked up.
“Abby, chicka, you ok?” She asked, pausing as though she was holding her breath.
“I need to get drunk Megs, it was horrible, he said some really mean things” Abigail could feel her reserve failing. ‘Goodness, where was Jim, Jack and Johnny when you need them?’ she thought. Now there were men that one could depend on. They wouldn’t have belittled her, thrown her out like a stray dog…in front of all the neighbors too.
“Well, he’s an ass. You are better off without him Chicka! Now let’s get you hammered and then find you Mr. Tall, dark and Rebound…how does that sound?”
“Megs no men…not tonight. Tonight is for drinking and dancing, nothing else.”
“Chicka, you’re free, you can live your life how you choose, so why not jump right back on the proverbial horse as they say.”
Abigail groaned, she was quite happy to be horseless for a while. Whether or not it was her choice to walk away it still hurt, but she knew Meg wouldn’t let her sit around sulking. It was one of the things that Abigail loved about her.
“What time are you going to pick me up?” She sighed, she needed a shot or three of tequila STAT.
“That’s my Girl…be ready in two hours, ok.” With that Meg hung up.
Abigail sat wondering if her mother still kept liquor in the top self of the panty like she used to. Plugging her iPod in, she turned up the tunes. Meg’s had already made her a breaking-up playlist. Until now Abigail hadn’t bothered to listen to it but tonight seemed like a good night for music. Her cell phone vibrated a text from her mother. She was having dinner with a client tonight but was willing to cancel if Abigail needed her to. Quickly Abigail replied, letting her mother know she was going out with Meg. No Doubt’s Don’t Speak had just finished the iPod changing to Brittany Spears…Oh god, Abigail thought as she skipped the song. Next was Katy Perry’s Part of me. Instantly Abigail hit replay. This was her song. The one that spoke to her. ‘What a powerful song’ Abigail thought as she began to sing along to the tunes. By the third time it was playing Abigail was dancing her way to the panty, she was actually happy. She was free, no more pretending to be happy, no more hiding herself. Hell, she wasn’t even sure who she was without Michael, but at least she had a chance to find out.
The bottle of vodka was still there, covered in dust. She didn’t care as she pour a good splash into the bottom of a glass before filling it up with coke. She hadn’t had a drink…in like, forever. Michael didn’t like it when she was drunk; it was demeaning he would say. Well, he wasn’t here to see her demean herself anymore. In fact she could get really demeaning if she wanted to. Actually she could even wear whatever she wanted, no more disapproving frowns or shakes of the head from him. She really was free.
She showered slowly, taking her time to shave her legs. They were silky smooth. The buzz in her head was disappearing. She needed another drink. Pouring another before she dressed. Her dress was short, low cut at the back and high at the front. It didn’t really show off her curves but it did magnificent things for her long legs. For being five foot six she wasn’t really tall but she had legs that seemed to never end. It was a blessing at times as it took away for her more rounded top half. Abigail had a waist but she also had hips and a butt that would reveal J.lo’s. The Alcohol was rushing back to her head making it buzz again. Abigail glanced at her cell phone, Meg would be there any minute…How the hell had 2 hrs already passed. Gulping down the rest of what was left in her cup, she gathered her purse and her shoes, not bothering to put them on her feet until they arrive at the club.
Meg beeped the horn rudely. Abigail walked out the front door only to run straight into meg herself. Abigail was worried, maybe she was more drunk then she thought…how could Meg be at her door when the horn only just beeped. The car was all the way out on the street. Meg grinned, she had that guilty, I’ve been a bad girl’ look upon her sweet round face. The horn beeped again making Abigail jump.
“Megan…who is in the car?” she inquired cautiously. Her greyish eyes narrowing on the guilty figure that was trying to tug her towards the car.
“Megan?” she said standing her ground. “What is going on?”
“Chicka, I thought we could bring some friends, honestly it is nothing. Are you coming or not?”
“Friends?” she cocked her head turning back towards the car for a quick glance before refocusing on Meg. “Who are the… friends?”
“No” she pouted “you won’t come if I do and besides you will see them soon enough. Come on Abby…live a little. It has been too long since we did this. I want you to have the best night.”
“Fine” she pouted, taking Megs hand. Clearly the woman had guy or guys in the car. What didn’t her friend understand about No Guys.
That was one of the reasons they didn’t work…Everything was about him. How he felt. What he wanted. La-de-fucking-da, Abigail thought her finger still bleeding. She had needs. Things that she wanted…feelings that were being left unmet. It was frustrating to say the least…but that didn’t make leaving him any easier. After all five years was a long time to just walk away. She wasn’t even sure if she really could but she had to venture out into the big wide world and see. She needed to know what it would be like to be underneath another man. To have a man take you. To have her deep seeded needs meet.
She had never dreamed she would be contemplating terminating things with Michael. All it had taken was one chance meeting. A meeting that had made her blood red hot and there hadn’t even been any sex. The man was a friend of a friend and he was visiting from out of town. Abigail could still remember the smell of his aftershave and the look in his bright blue eyes as he spoke to her. Even now, with just the fading memory Abigail felt her core clench as her sweet, hot liquid, began to seep down into her panties. Abigail knew it was wrong, to be so turned on at this moment. She felt like a whore, a cheap nasty whore and yet she wanted it, the promises the stranger had made where eating away at her. She needed to know about this other world. A world where sex wasn’t all confined to the bedroom.
Her bags where packed wanting for her at the door…all she had to do was write that Darn letter. How was it, that this ending up being the most difficult thing. Abigail sighed, if she didn’t start figuring out how to word ‘I am leaving you soon’ she was going to be forced to say it in person. Sure it was a coward move but it was the only way she was guaranteed to make it out. Abigail paced, her teeth holding her bottom lip captive as she thought. Her finger nails digging into her palms as the frustration grew.
Michael opened the front door, almost stumbling over her bags. A quizzical look upon his face. Those piercing brown eyes penetrating her line of thought.
“Oh shit,” she muttered under her breath. The one person she had hoped to avoid was now staring at her. Abigail’s chest grew tight, as though she couldn’t breathe. In a very calculated way Michael closed the door taking a step towards her.
“Going somewhere?” he mocked, watching Abigail squirm. Her throat was suddenly dry rendering her unable to speak. Michael ran his hand though his sandy hair. Frustration or maybe annoyance was written all over his face.
“So…” he started, taking another step, “I take it those bags aren’t there because you’re going on a holiday, then.”
Abigail was suffocating, the tension in the air putting extra pressure on her chest. Tears were flowing.
“I can’t do this anymore, Michael…” she managed to choke out. He fist was suddenly through the wall leaving a huge hole.
“You can’t do this…You!” He began, those eyes growing blacker “What is it you can’t do…huh. Tell me Abigail, I am all ears, because for the life of me I can’t work out what it is you can’t do, oh besides house work and argh finding a job…and let’s not forget the fact that you can’t cook.” He snapped moving closer towards her. She knew he was hurting, those words were his weapons…like always.
“Michael, I don’t want to hurt you but let’s face it this isn’t working.”
“Why is that Abigail, because it was working darn fine for me only minutes ago.”
“You can’t tell me you were honestly happy, Michael, we’re too different. We’ve grown apart these last few years…I need space.”
“I was happy Abby, you made me happy but clearly I don’t do the same for you.” He said as he slumped against the wall, his head in his hands. Abigail hated herself for doing this to him, but it really wasn’t working. If only Michael would admit to himself how unhappy he had been these last few years.
“I love you so much Abby, tell me what to do, I’ll do anything to make you stay…anything” he wept. Abigail’s insides were all kinds of messed up, she knew from so many pervious fight’s that Michael couldn’t change. Sure, he tried but he was never able to keep it going. He was who he was and Abigail was who she was. The two of them together just didn’t gel anymore.
“I think we are past that. I need to find myself outside of us and the confinements of this relationship…please understand that.”
“How am I meant to understand any of this… Don’t you care about what you are doing to me Abigail? You’re killing me right know…I hope that makes you happy.” He hissed.
“I think it is time for me to go.” Abigail whispered, tears still running down her face. Why did this have to be so hard?
Michael stood up, his arms reaching out towards her. Abigail dodged him the first time but Michael grasped onto her the second time. He was holding her close, one hand on her lower back the other at the base of her skull.
“Don’t go, Abby, please, just don’t go.” He whispered as his gazed down upon her. One hand reaching forward to wipe away the tears. Abigail shuddered against him. He was going to kiss her. She knew it was his feeble attempt at making her stay and yet, a part of her wanted him to. She wanted to feel some kind of passion from him in a kiss. And as his lips touched hers mental alarm bells sounded. It was wrong; the kiss wasn’t going to help the situation only make it worse. As much as she hated to do it, Abigail placed her arms onto his chest and pushed him away.
“Michael please, give me the time I need to find myself.” She pleaded her voice shaky.
“Go ahead. Runaway Abigail, it’s what you always do.” Michael opened the front door “Just know that if you step out that door…then that’s it, Abby. I. Am. Done. You feel me Abigail…D-O-N-E” he spat out the letters with pure animosity. Abigail stared at him, her mouth open with surprise. She could see he was shaking all over. Carefully she moved past him so that she was on the porch. Some neighbors were already gathering, trying to look casual as they watch this free show. Abruptly one of Abigail’s bags landed on the front lawn, soon followed by the next one. She turned, Michael was clearly seething inside. No doubt he never expected her to walk out the door.
“Have fun finding yourself” With that he slammed the door in her face. The neighbors were all gawking, their tongues practically hanging out of their mouths. Abigail swore she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of crying. She held her head up even though inside she was crumbling; picking up her bags she walked to her car and hopped in. There was no point in dwelling, it was time for her to move on.
Chapter 2
Abigail arrived at her mom’s house, hoping that she would have the place to herself. It was stupid to feel like this…after all she had been the one to break it off. What she needed to do was to take her mind off everything. She needed to get blind drunk , drinking always helps to numb pain. Her mom had known of her plans, the spare room was made up for her. Abigail felt a little like a loser, to be back home at age 25 was borderline embarrassing. Placing her bags onto the bed Abigail began to unpack, filling the draws. Her hands still shaking. She needed her girlfriends around her, to make her feel secure that she had done the right thing. ‘Oh God’ she thought, what if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. Fear shattering her…what was she doing. She was 25 not 18, she should know who she is…right?
Abigail’s cell phone rang, her ring tone playing ‘Sexy and I know it’ as she scrambled to find the damn thing. As always it was hidden underneath all the other crap in her purse. Sliding her finger over the hard glass frame she checked her missed calls. There were five three from her mother and two from her best friend. Quickly she texted her mother; letting her know that she was settling in nicely into the spare room. She didn’t want to cry over the phone to her mother after all. Next was to return Meg’s call, after all she was the one who had listened over and over to Abigail as she struggled to decide whether or not she should leave Michael. If it hadn’t been for Meg, Abigail might still be there, feeling suffocated. On the third ring, Meg picked up.
“Abby, chicka, you ok?” She asked, pausing as though she was holding her breath.
“I need to get drunk Megs, it was horrible, he said some really mean things” Abigail could feel her reserve failing. ‘Goodness, where was Jim, Jack and Johnny when you need them?’ she thought. Now there were men that one could depend on. They wouldn’t have belittled her, thrown her out like a stray dog…in front of all the neighbors too.
“Well, he’s an ass. You are better off without him Chicka! Now let’s get you hammered and then find you Mr. Tall, dark and Rebound…how does that sound?”
“Megs no men…not tonight. Tonight is for drinking and dancing, nothing else.”
“Chicka, you’re free, you can live your life how you choose, so why not jump right back on the proverbial horse as they say.”
Abigail groaned, she was quite happy to be horseless for a while. Whether or not it was her choice to walk away it still hurt, but she knew Meg wouldn’t let her sit around sulking. It was one of the things that Abigail loved about her.
“What time are you going to pick me up?” She sighed, she needed a shot or three of tequila STAT.
“That’s my Girl…be ready in two hours, ok.” With that Meg hung up.
Abigail sat wondering if her mother still kept liquor in the top self of the panty like she used to. Plugging her iPod in, she turned up the tunes. Meg’s had already made her a breaking-up playlist. Until now Abigail hadn’t bothered to listen to it but tonight seemed like a good night for music. Her cell phone vibrated a text from her mother. She was having dinner with a client tonight but was willing to cancel if Abigail needed her to. Quickly Abigail replied, letting her mother know she was going out with Meg. No Doubt’s Don’t Speak had just finished the iPod changing to Brittany Spears…Oh god, Abigail thought as she skipped the song. Next was Katy Perry’s Part of me. Instantly Abigail hit replay. This was her song. The one that spoke to her. ‘What a powerful song’ Abigail thought as she began to sing along to the tunes. By the third time it was playing Abigail was dancing her way to the panty, she was actually happy. She was free, no more pretending to be happy, no more hiding herself. Hell, she wasn’t even sure who she was without Michael, but at least she had a chance to find out.
The bottle of vodka was still there, covered in dust. She didn’t care as she pour a good splash into the bottom of a glass before filling it up with coke. She hadn’t had a drink…in like, forever. Michael didn’t like it when she was drunk; it was demeaning he would say. Well, he wasn’t here to see her demean herself anymore. In fact she could get really demeaning if she wanted to. Actually she could even wear whatever she wanted, no more disapproving frowns or shakes of the head from him. She really was free.
She showered slowly, taking her time to shave her legs. They were silky smooth. The buzz in her head was disappearing. She needed another drink. Pouring another before she dressed. Her dress was short, low cut at the back and high at the front. It didn’t really show off her curves but it did magnificent things for her long legs. For being five foot six she wasn’t really tall but she had legs that seemed to never end. It was a blessing at times as it took away for her more rounded top half. Abigail had a waist but she also had hips and a butt that would reveal J.lo’s. The Alcohol was rushing back to her head making it buzz again. Abigail glanced at her cell phone, Meg would be there any minute…How the hell had 2 hrs already passed. Gulping down the rest of what was left in her cup, she gathered her purse and her shoes, not bothering to put them on her feet until they arrive at the club.
Meg beeped the horn rudely. Abigail walked out the front door only to run straight into meg herself. Abigail was worried, maybe she was more drunk then she thought…how could Meg be at her door when the horn only just beeped. The car was all the way out on the street. Meg grinned, she had that guilty, I’ve been a bad girl’ look upon her sweet round face. The horn beeped again making Abigail jump.
“Megan…who is in the car?” she inquired cautiously. Her greyish eyes narrowing on the guilty figure that was trying to tug her towards the car.
“Megan?” she said standing her ground. “What is going on?”
“Chicka, I thought we could bring some friends, honestly it is nothing. Are you coming or not?”
“Friends?” she cocked her head turning back towards the car for a quick glance before refocusing on Meg. “Who are the… friends?”
“No” she pouted “you won’t come if I do and besides you will see them soon enough. Come on Abby…live a little. It has been too long since we did this. I want you to have the best night.”
“Fine” she pouted, taking Megs hand. Clearly the woman had guy or guys in the car. What didn’t her friend understand about No Guys.
New project Romance genre
“Sarah I want you home early so we can trim the tree.” My mother called out to me as I walked to my car bound for the mall. The wind whistled though the trees as it nipped my nose making me pull my coat a little tighter. Everything was white, the roofs on houses, the trees, and the ground…all of it was white and beautiful. I loved this time of year; Christmas carols played in every mall, decorations lined the streets and everyone seemed to be in good spirits. It was a great time of year, I thought as I moved from store to store. There were only ten more days until Christmas and three days until I’d have to deal with the influx of family that gathered at my parents’ home. It was annoying that at twenty five I still lived at home but in this economy moving out on my wage, with my student loans, was not an option, I thought as I searched for a parking spot.
Even though I complained about it, I couldn’t wait to see family again. I could picture every present for all my aunts and uncles and grandparents. We didn’t have a huge family, but every Christmas we liked to gather at someone’s place and reconnect. It wasn’t the worst tradition and if I liquored up grandpa enough it would mean a nice little cash bonus under the tree for me. Sure, I felt bad but when he saw the new plaid sweater vest I got him, all would be forgiven. This year was my nephew’s first Christmas. He was six months old and a little cherub with curly blond hair and big rosy cheeks. Jason was the light of our family’s life, being that he was not only my first nephew but he was also the first grandchild and great grandchild, on both sides of the family. We were all looking forward to watching him tear up the paper on Christmas morning. I had no problem spending up big on my little nephew just to see that smile upon his face. I mightn’t have bucket loads of money but had enough to make sure he would be well spoilt over the holiday season.
The sound of a school choir caroling, chimed in my ears as I sipped hot coco before nibbling on a Christmas cookie. There were only a few more shops to hit until I was done gift shopping but I was already tired and my feet were aching with protest. There was still time, I mused. Tomorrow was a half day at work, surely I could come back then to pick up the last few things I wanted. I loved the atmosphere at this time of year; it was amazing to be around. Families coming together, strangers helping each other… it was a time when miracles happened.
I smiled at guy dress in a Santa suit as he passed by accidently knocking me with his elbow. “Merry Christmas.” I called out in my cheery holiday voice. The Santa look alike glared at me, his eyes filled with anger. Instinctively I took a step back, dropping the cookie that was in my hand.
“A Merry Christmas to you to.” He spoke with a strained tone. I couldn’t help but wonder why this Santa seemed so aggravated, it was Christmas after all. He must’ve picked up on my feeling as he flashed me a weak smile before flinging his Santa sack over his shoulder and disappearing into the crowd. I shrugged, not wanting to let it ruin my day. There was just one more shop to hit before I would pack up my credit card for the day. There were some perks to living with my parents after all, I thought with a grin.
My arms were full as I made my way out for the mall; my feet and bank balance both a little worse for wear. Nearly everything on my Christmas list had been bought so I was ready to tackle the next thing on my ‘to do list’…wrapping.
Juggling bags while trying to find my keys, I made my way to the car, humming jingle bells rock softly as I thought about trimming the tree with my mum and sister later tonight. In hindsight I should have been paying attention to the things around me. Maybe I would have done things differently…then again, maybe not. Who knows? But, as I heard the beep of my car’s central locking system activate, a shot rang out. One loud bang followed by another and another.
I didn’t feel anything at first. No searing pain. No ache. Screams echoed all around me. Everything seemed to be moving in fast forward while I was stuck in slow motion, watching as others fled for safety, sheltering themselves behind cars as others rushed into stores… I didn’t understand what was happening. Another shot followed by three more sounded as I glanced to my left. There had been a loud thud followed by several screams before everything had gone very quiet. All I could hear now was the muffled sounds of crying and Christmas carols. It was very unnerving. Suddenly I wondered as to when I had fallen? The presents I had picked out were scattered around me as a surge of panic flooded my veins. Another loud shot rang out, so loud that I wanted to cover my ears. It was at that point in which I realized I must have been hit by a bullet. I glanced around me once more.
An old man had fallen onto his back a few feet across from me, blood slowly pooling from underneath him. I had a thought, that maybe I could help him, I was a nurse after all but as I tried to move my legs they stayed still. Five others were lying on the on the cold, hard ground like me. I was too far away to help the others but the old man was close enough that I if I could get to him maybe I could help in some way. My nursing instincts kicked in and I called out to the man.
“Sir, are you ok?” I asked, the man didn’t respond but I could see that he was still breathing. I moved my arms, laying them out in front of me. My legs might not have been working properly but I was determined to move forward. There was a young man with his finger against his lips telling me to be quiet. I glared at him, the guy was early thirties and hiding behind his Audi, I was outraged. How dare he hide behind a car judging me for helping others? This young guy was far more capable then I and yet he did not offer either me or any of the others a helping hand. The thought to scream at the top of my lungs was far too tempting.
“Why won’t you help him?” I cried out as hushed as I dare be. The guy only two maybe three feet away shook his head. I watched as the old man lying in front of me groaned, his hand dropping to the side. I worried I wouldn’t make it time.
“God, please…someone help him. Can’t you see he will die if we leave him out here!” I pleaded to deaf ears.
“Shut up.” declared a voice, followed by another gunshot though I wasn’t sure where it came from. All I could focus on was the man as the sound of a child crying in the background soon hushed. I prayed that the child was ok and not a victim.
“Matt.” Another soft groan escaped from the poor man’s lips. I was worried about how bad his injuries might be. Every ounce of strength I had left, I used to reach the man.
“Sir…” I struggled to finish what I was saying. I felt cold. Really cold yet my only concern was to help him. I looked around at all the scared faces, hiding where they could. Using my arms I inched myself forward. ‘Oh god’, it hurt so bad that black dots appeared before my eyes…or maybe I was losing too much blood. I hadn’t really checked myself but I knew I was doing ok as long as I stayed awake and coherent. Christmas carols were now being drowned out by sirens. I knew police were on the scene, it was only a matter of time before help would arrive. All I had to do was stay awake until they could reach us.
“Sir, can you hear me?” I asked, trying to keep my tone nice and even.
We were out in the open, easy pickings for the shooter. I knew how this worked, police, medics…none of them would come until it was safe but hopefully that wouldn’t be too long now. Another shot echoed in the distanced as if mocking me. The sound was deafening even over the siren. Still it was hard to tell where the gunman was shooting from. Nothing around me was disturbed and truthfully I didn’t care if the shooter noticed me or not. If I was going to die then I wanted to do it on my own terms. I wanted to die knowing I wasn’t too scared to help a stranger on Christmas. Maybe it was my tenacity which made the shooter ignore me or maybe he was trying to think of an escape plan. I guess I would never know but while whatever was going on; I continued to do what I knew was right.
There was a lot of blood now pooled around him as I tried to see where it was coming from, one wound in his chest and one in his leg. The chest one was only a small entry wound but from the blood pouring out under him I knew the exit wound must be bad. My pulse jumped into my throat as I realized that there was not a lot I could do for him in my condition. Maybe if he had been rushed to hospital, he might have survived but even I had doubts.
In his left hand lay a small velvet box. It was too large for it to be a ring box. I grabbed his hand removing the box. His pulse was weak. A horrid thought entered my mind for I knew he didn’t have long left in this world. Carefully I placed the box in the waistband of my jeans. I didn’t know what was in it but I’d be damned if I’d let someone steal it.
Tilting my head I whispered. “Sir, it’s all right. Everything is going to be fine; I’m here to help you. All you have to do is hold on a little bit longer.”
I wasn’t expecting him to answer but it would have been reassuring. He was so close to death that I figured the best thing I could do was to hold him close and let him know he wasn’t alone. With my head resting beside his shoulder I held his hand and waited, whispering reassuring words. I didn’t feel cold any more instead I felt tired, so, with my hand clasped in the man’s I let myself drift off knowing I might never awaken. Jingle bells rock still playing in my mind as I hummed the tune wondering if I would ever see my family again.
Rebecca Nolan
Even though I complained about it, I couldn’t wait to see family again. I could picture every present for all my aunts and uncles and grandparents. We didn’t have a huge family, but every Christmas we liked to gather at someone’s place and reconnect. It wasn’t the worst tradition and if I liquored up grandpa enough it would mean a nice little cash bonus under the tree for me. Sure, I felt bad but when he saw the new plaid sweater vest I got him, all would be forgiven. This year was my nephew’s first Christmas. He was six months old and a little cherub with curly blond hair and big rosy cheeks. Jason was the light of our family’s life, being that he was not only my first nephew but he was also the first grandchild and great grandchild, on both sides of the family. We were all looking forward to watching him tear up the paper on Christmas morning. I had no problem spending up big on my little nephew just to see that smile upon his face. I mightn’t have bucket loads of money but had enough to make sure he would be well spoilt over the holiday season.
The sound of a school choir caroling, chimed in my ears as I sipped hot coco before nibbling on a Christmas cookie. There were only a few more shops to hit until I was done gift shopping but I was already tired and my feet were aching with protest. There was still time, I mused. Tomorrow was a half day at work, surely I could come back then to pick up the last few things I wanted. I loved the atmosphere at this time of year; it was amazing to be around. Families coming together, strangers helping each other… it was a time when miracles happened.
I smiled at guy dress in a Santa suit as he passed by accidently knocking me with his elbow. “Merry Christmas.” I called out in my cheery holiday voice. The Santa look alike glared at me, his eyes filled with anger. Instinctively I took a step back, dropping the cookie that was in my hand.
“A Merry Christmas to you to.” He spoke with a strained tone. I couldn’t help but wonder why this Santa seemed so aggravated, it was Christmas after all. He must’ve picked up on my feeling as he flashed me a weak smile before flinging his Santa sack over his shoulder and disappearing into the crowd. I shrugged, not wanting to let it ruin my day. There was just one more shop to hit before I would pack up my credit card for the day. There were some perks to living with my parents after all, I thought with a grin.
My arms were full as I made my way out for the mall; my feet and bank balance both a little worse for wear. Nearly everything on my Christmas list had been bought so I was ready to tackle the next thing on my ‘to do list’…wrapping.
Juggling bags while trying to find my keys, I made my way to the car, humming jingle bells rock softly as I thought about trimming the tree with my mum and sister later tonight. In hindsight I should have been paying attention to the things around me. Maybe I would have done things differently…then again, maybe not. Who knows? But, as I heard the beep of my car’s central locking system activate, a shot rang out. One loud bang followed by another and another.
I didn’t feel anything at first. No searing pain. No ache. Screams echoed all around me. Everything seemed to be moving in fast forward while I was stuck in slow motion, watching as others fled for safety, sheltering themselves behind cars as others rushed into stores… I didn’t understand what was happening. Another shot followed by three more sounded as I glanced to my left. There had been a loud thud followed by several screams before everything had gone very quiet. All I could hear now was the muffled sounds of crying and Christmas carols. It was very unnerving. Suddenly I wondered as to when I had fallen? The presents I had picked out were scattered around me as a surge of panic flooded my veins. Another loud shot rang out, so loud that I wanted to cover my ears. It was at that point in which I realized I must have been hit by a bullet. I glanced around me once more.
An old man had fallen onto his back a few feet across from me, blood slowly pooling from underneath him. I had a thought, that maybe I could help him, I was a nurse after all but as I tried to move my legs they stayed still. Five others were lying on the on the cold, hard ground like me. I was too far away to help the others but the old man was close enough that I if I could get to him maybe I could help in some way. My nursing instincts kicked in and I called out to the man.
“Sir, are you ok?” I asked, the man didn’t respond but I could see that he was still breathing. I moved my arms, laying them out in front of me. My legs might not have been working properly but I was determined to move forward. There was a young man with his finger against his lips telling me to be quiet. I glared at him, the guy was early thirties and hiding behind his Audi, I was outraged. How dare he hide behind a car judging me for helping others? This young guy was far more capable then I and yet he did not offer either me or any of the others a helping hand. The thought to scream at the top of my lungs was far too tempting.
“Why won’t you help him?” I cried out as hushed as I dare be. The guy only two maybe three feet away shook his head. I watched as the old man lying in front of me groaned, his hand dropping to the side. I worried I wouldn’t make it time.
“God, please…someone help him. Can’t you see he will die if we leave him out here!” I pleaded to deaf ears.
“Shut up.” declared a voice, followed by another gunshot though I wasn’t sure where it came from. All I could focus on was the man as the sound of a child crying in the background soon hushed. I prayed that the child was ok and not a victim.
“Matt.” Another soft groan escaped from the poor man’s lips. I was worried about how bad his injuries might be. Every ounce of strength I had left, I used to reach the man.
“Sir…” I struggled to finish what I was saying. I felt cold. Really cold yet my only concern was to help him. I looked around at all the scared faces, hiding where they could. Using my arms I inched myself forward. ‘Oh god’, it hurt so bad that black dots appeared before my eyes…or maybe I was losing too much blood. I hadn’t really checked myself but I knew I was doing ok as long as I stayed awake and coherent. Christmas carols were now being drowned out by sirens. I knew police were on the scene, it was only a matter of time before help would arrive. All I had to do was stay awake until they could reach us.
“Sir, can you hear me?” I asked, trying to keep my tone nice and even.
We were out in the open, easy pickings for the shooter. I knew how this worked, police, medics…none of them would come until it was safe but hopefully that wouldn’t be too long now. Another shot echoed in the distanced as if mocking me. The sound was deafening even over the siren. Still it was hard to tell where the gunman was shooting from. Nothing around me was disturbed and truthfully I didn’t care if the shooter noticed me or not. If I was going to die then I wanted to do it on my own terms. I wanted to die knowing I wasn’t too scared to help a stranger on Christmas. Maybe it was my tenacity which made the shooter ignore me or maybe he was trying to think of an escape plan. I guess I would never know but while whatever was going on; I continued to do what I knew was right.
There was a lot of blood now pooled around him as I tried to see where it was coming from, one wound in his chest and one in his leg. The chest one was only a small entry wound but from the blood pouring out under him I knew the exit wound must be bad. My pulse jumped into my throat as I realized that there was not a lot I could do for him in my condition. Maybe if he had been rushed to hospital, he might have survived but even I had doubts.
In his left hand lay a small velvet box. It was too large for it to be a ring box. I grabbed his hand removing the box. His pulse was weak. A horrid thought entered my mind for I knew he didn’t have long left in this world. Carefully I placed the box in the waistband of my jeans. I didn’t know what was in it but I’d be damned if I’d let someone steal it.
Tilting my head I whispered. “Sir, it’s all right. Everything is going to be fine; I’m here to help you. All you have to do is hold on a little bit longer.”
I wasn’t expecting him to answer but it would have been reassuring. He was so close to death that I figured the best thing I could do was to hold him close and let him know he wasn’t alone. With my head resting beside his shoulder I held his hand and waited, whispering reassuring words. I didn’t feel cold any more instead I felt tired, so, with my hand clasped in the man’s I let myself drift off knowing I might never awaken. Jingle bells rock still playing in my mind as I hummed the tune wondering if I would ever see my family again.
Rebecca Nolan
