Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "unhappy-relationship"

This article was written to give parents some real food-for-thought about staying in their unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids. It's an eye-opener as to how kids can be affected negatively because the parents choose to stay together although they're clearly unhappily married. Sometimes, we as parents, think that we're making the best choices for our children, but in actuality, we're doing more damage than good. This article is honest and truthful. We have an obligation to do right by our children. Right?

I hear a lot of people say that they're staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids. Both parents clearly don't get along anymore and they both want to get out of the relationship.

This is where you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Is arguing and bickering in front of the kids all of the time healthy? Is it fair to the kids that they have to live in a home where we don't speak respectfully to one another? Is it fair that the kids have to witness abuse? Remember, abuse is not just physical. Is it fair that the kids hear us argue over finances all of the time? Is it fair to pretend that we're happy when they know that we're not? What kind of message are you sending to them?

When you're in a relationship and you're both willing to work things out, like going to counseling or getting outside help from the church or whatever your choice may be, that's one thing. But when you both know in your hearts that it's over, it would be wise for both of you to be mature, make arrangements, and move on for the sake of the kids.

What good is it to stay for the kids if all they see is unhealthy behavior from their mom and dad? It's just not fair to them. It's important to know this: When children witness this kind of behavior regularly, they can easily become scared, confused, angry, and feel isolated. Bringing kids up in an environment that's unhealthy can also cause them to be mentally unstable. If your kids are old enough to understand, it can affect how they act in school and the relationships that they build with others.

I know that walking away from a relationship when you have kids can be a very difficult choice to make, but think about the kids. They don't deserve this. If they can't have their mom and dad behave like loving adults as it should be, then what good is staying? You're main goal should be raising happy, healthy, and good-natured children. Living in a negative environment will soon rub off on them. Kids can feel when something's not right. Kids know how to get attention whether it is in a negative or positive way. They'll act out in ways that aren't normal because they're seeking attention. They'll start getting into trouble or hurting themselves simply because they don't quite understand what's going on. Most kids will begin to think that they're at fault.

You say that you're staying for the kids, but ask yourself, is it truly worth it? Seriously think it through.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart