Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "unhealthy-relationships"

Emotionally abused. Physically abused. Financially abused. Being abused is what you’ve become accustomed to. You think to yourself “How did I let this go on so long? How did I allow this to happen to me? Why haven’t I spoken to anyone about what I’m going through? How did I even get here?” Your abusive relationship is slowly killing you on the inside. You’re at your breaking point. It’s time for you to think about YOU for a change because you deserve way better than what you’ve been putting up with. You don’t deserve this! You DO count. You ARE important. You DO mean a lot to your loved ones. They care for you. Trust me, they do. You don’t have to put up with this abuse anymore. Reach out for help and don’t feel ashamed to do so.

Genuine love isn’t supposed to be emotionally draining. Name calling isn’t okay. Stop making excuses for it. Making you feel less than is abuse. There’s no other way around that. You will be okay without him! He just makes you feel like you won’t. Think about what you were like before him. You had confidence! You felt great about yourself! You were outgoing and full of life! But look at you now. He’s broken you down little by little, just where he wants you to be. But enough is enough! You’ve got to get out of this mess. This is NOT your best life. This is no life at all.

He grabs on you, pushes and shoves you, holds you down on the bed and/or floor, punches you at times, just having his way with you when he wants to. He likes to toy around with you. Sweet and kind one minute, and then he’s right back at his evil ways. He demeans you as if you’re not worth anything. Your emotions are like a roller coaster. He has you up one minute, twisted the next minute, and then here comes the drop. He treats you like he owns you. As if you are a piece of property. Telling you what to do and controlling your every move. He’s NOT a nice person, so stop making excuses for him. You know what he’s like and you can’t change him. Don’t fool yourself!

He’s in control of the finances. He uses money against you. You have to ask him for everything. What he says goes. You don’t have any say so in the matter. You have money, but it’s like you don’t because he rules, and that’s that.

He’s taken your life away from you. You’re just being controlled. You choose to stay because you don’t want to feel ashamed and/or embarrassed of what others will say or think. You’ve been putting up with this hell for quite some time now. Pretending like you’re a happy couple. You’re a pro when it comes to putting on your happy face, wearing YOUR mask so flawlessly. You’ve put up a great front because nobody knows the hell that you’re going through but you and him. You have everybody fooled into thinking that you have a great relationship, but if they only knew that you’re just about to lose it. You’re holding on to a very thin string. You want out, but you don’t know how. You’re scared, confused, and nervous. And in a strange kind of way, you want to stay. You know the true him, but you make excuses for him and are torn as to what to do.

Instead of me TELLING you what to do, I’ll leave you with these inspirational quotes from me to you. Hopefully these positive quotes will give you the strength and courage that you need to leave your unfortunate and unhealthy relationship. Be brave!

Written by Stephanie Lahart
Author & Poet
Keepin’ it real is what I do. Writing without limits. Writing to impact, empower, educate, and change lives.

Inspirational & Motivational Quotes

“Encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself. Never doubt who you are.” – Stephanie Lahart

“Crying is NOT a weakness. Cry as much as you have to. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to let your tears flow. Crying is a natural part of life. We all have feelings and sometimes crying is all that we can do. Crying can help relieve the pain, hurt, disappointments, and all of the other things that life can throw our way. Know that it’s okay and know that you’re going to be okay as well. Wishing You: Peace of mind, Comfort, Happiness, Joy within and LOVE.” – Stephanie Lahart

“Say it out loud: I AM beautiful. I AM worthy. I AM somebody. I DO deserve to be loved. I DO deserve to be respected. I DO deserve happiness. I will no longer accept less-than what I know I deserve. I don’t deserve that. And I won’t accept it anymore. I know my self-worth! I deserve the very best!” – Stephanie Lahart

“Though I may feel weak right now, I know the strength that lives deep down inside of me. I will believe! I will have hope! And although my faith may be a little bit weary right now, I know I’ll make it through this. When I feel like I’m just about to give up, I somehow soar to the top. That’s because I’m a winner! It’s always a good idea to remind yourself of who YOU are. That’s perfectly okay!” – Stephanie Lahart

“Respect, Love, and Value yourself. Always remember to be good to yourself by taking care of yourself. Make yourself a priority and know that it’s okay. Don’t feel guilty for loving yourself, first! You’re just as important as anybody else. Remember that!” – Stephanie Lahart

“Tomorrow has not invited you yet, so LIVE for today! Tomorrow is near, yet so far away. Choose this day to smile, laugh, love unconditionally, and be happy within.” – Stephanie Lahart

“You are valuable! You are beautifully blessed just how you’re supposed to be. No matter what anybody else has told you, YOU rock!” – Stephanie Lahart

“Hello beautiful! Yes, YOU. Please realize just how special that you are. There’s no need for you to compare yourself to the next. You are unique, rare, and incomparable. You’re simply beautiful inside and out!” – Stephanie Lahart

“Self-worth. Self-love. Self-Esteem. Self-Motivation. Self-confidence. All of these things equal SELF-EMPOWERMENT. Always believe in yourself, even if nobody else does!” – Stephanie Lahart

“Dare to be bold and brave. Dare to believe that you can. Dare to live out your dreams. Dare to get out of your comfort zone. Dare to make positive changes in your life. Dare to live life without all of the extra drama and/or baggage. Dare to live your life fearlessly. Dare to TRULY live for once in your life!” – Stephanie Lahart 

This article was written to give parents some real food-for-thought about staying in their unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids. It's an eye-opener as to how kids can be affected negatively because the parents choose to stay together although they're clearly unhappily married. Sometimes, we as parents, think that we're making the best choices for our children, but in actuality, we're doing more damage than good. This article is honest and truthful. We have an obligation to do right by our children. Right?

I hear a lot of people say that they're staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids. Both parents clearly don't get along anymore and they both want to get out of the relationship.

This is where you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Is arguing and bickering in front of the kids all of the time healthy? Is it fair to the kids that they have to live in a home where we don't speak respectfully to one another? Is it fair that the kids have to witness abuse? Remember, abuse is not just physical. Is it fair that the kids hear us argue over finances all of the time? Is it fair to pretend that we're happy when they know that we're not? What kind of message are you sending to them?

When you're in a relationship and you're both willing to work things out, like going to counseling or getting outside help from the church or whatever your choice may be, that's one thing. But when you both know in your hearts that it's over, it would be wise for both of you to be mature, make arrangements, and move on for the sake of the kids.

What good is it to stay for the kids if all they see is unhealthy behavior from their mom and dad? It's just not fair to them. It's important to know this: When children witness this kind of behavior regularly, they can easily become scared, confused, angry, and feel isolated. Bringing kids up in an environment that's unhealthy can also cause them to be mentally unstable. If your kids are old enough to understand, it can affect how they act in school and the relationships that they build with others.

I know that walking away from a relationship when you have kids can be a very difficult choice to make, but think about the kids. They don't deserve this. If they can't have their mom and dad behave like loving adults as it should be, then what good is staying? You're main goal should be raising happy, healthy, and good-natured children. Living in a negative environment will soon rub off on them. Kids can feel when something's not right. Kids know how to get attention whether it is in a negative or positive way. They'll act out in ways that aren't normal because they're seeking attention. They'll start getting into trouble or hurting themselves simply because they don't quite understand what's going on. Most kids will begin to think that they're at fault.

You say that you're staying for the kids, but ask yourself, is it truly worth it? Seriously think it through.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart