Dawn Metcalfe's Blog

Work is a common stressor for 61% of Americans, right behind money at 62%, according to a 2017 report by the American Psychological Association.

As companies start to recognize that their employees’ mental health issues may be work-related, many are attempting to help workers deal with them. A healthier workforce could save them money in the long run: After all, one study projected that, between 2016 and 2030, a lack of treatment for anxiety and depression could cost the world 12 billion days worth of work and $925 billion per year.

Alison Green, founder of the advice column Ask a Manager, tells Grow that in the last two years she’s seen an uptick in questions about how to deal with workplace activities that are supposed to improve your mental health but in practice can be pretty uncomfortable. “[Companies] have taken the message that increased openness about mental health is a good thing — but their execution is terrible,” she says.

One of her letter writers says their manager created a feelings chart where different emojis represented different mental states. Employees had to place a sticker with their name on it on the emoji that best represented their emotions that day. Another letter writer says their manager asked them to write and share with their colleagues a poem that should reveal a personal trauma. “Make yourself cry a little” were the manager’s instructions.[Companies] have taken the message that increased openness about mental health is a good thing — but their execution is terrible.

These kinds of activities may be awkward but they aren’t illogical. The ability to be authentic at work does improve job satisfaction, performance, and employee engagement, according to a 2013 study.

But you can’t mandate that people share personal details with their coworkers, Green says.

“It’s important for managers to recognize that they’re managing humans with lives outside of work, but I think some employers have decided vulnerability at work is good for forming connections,” she says. “But it’s requiring it ⁠— that’s the problem. You can’t require people to be vulnerable at work.”

The power dynamic between employees and managers makes it unacceptable, says psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby, clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching in Boulder, Colorado. A boss cannot demand emotional intimacy the same way they cannot demand physical intimacy. “This is like an emotionally traumatizing twin sister of sexual harassment,” she says. You can’t require people to be vulnerable at work.

In both of the above-mentioned cases, Green offered the same advice: You can push back on such activities. You might also poll fellow coworkers to see if they, too, were made uneasy.

About the first letter writer’s feelings chart, she observed that managers sometimes don’t know what they should be to their employees. They “have an amorphous idea that they’re some combination of parent/doctor/therapist/martinet/king.”

With the poem, she added, it was also OK for the letter writer to “ignore some of the instructions” and only write a poem they felt comfortable sharing.

Even if these activities weren’t uncomfortable, Bobby says, they wouldn’t be helpful. “Oversharing, emotional outbursts, over-disclosing, and indulging in all thoughts and feelings are exactly the opposite of how people who are healthy conduct themselves,” she says. The activities also assume that there is comfort and confidentiality among coworkers, which is often not the case.

Instead, Bobby suggests group training sessions about emotional intelligence, communication skills, and leadership skills: “Getting support around how to create emotionally safe environments that respect boundaries, and how to foster understanding, empathy, healthy professional connections, and shared enthusiasm will go a lot further to improve everyone’s mental health than compulsory sharing would.”

Green suggests that managers might just need to fine-tune their strategies for encouraging good mental health among workers. “It’s coming from a good place but, as a society, we’re maybe still working out the details,” she says.

This article, by Aditi Shrikant, first appeared on Grow: https://grow.acorns.com/ask-a-manager-alison-green-advice-on-mental-health-activities-at-work/

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Research tells us that when we can be authentic and open at work, it leads to better performance, engagement, overall wellbeing and retention. As our personal and work lives become increasingly intermingled, and the organizations we work for ask us to bring our “whole selves” to our job, there is a need to acknowledge that “self” will include not only our talents, but also the challenges we might feel less comfortable discussing.

One in four adults experience mental illness each year and an estimated 18% of the US adult population has an anxiety disorder. But despite this, we’re still nervous to talk about mental health at work—our impulse is usually to conceal it rather than ask for what we need.

This comes at a cost, to the individual and to companies. Despite saying human capital is the most valuable resource, we too often fail to acknowledge the human aspect and this failure to acknowledge an employee’s mental health can hurt productivity, professional relationships, and the bottom line. Between $17 billion and $44 billion is lost to depression each year, whereas $4 is returned to the economy for every $1 spent caring for people with mental health issues.

Employers need flexibility, sensitivity and open-mindedness, but we also need to take responsibility for speaking up, even when it’s hard. Here are some tips on how to make it easier:

Speak up sooner rather than later

Most people are afraid of discussing mental health with co-workers and bosses, afraid that they’ll lose their jobs, damage relationships or be judged unfairly. The stigma of mental illness keeps them silent. But if you wait until there’s a crisis of some sort, you make it harder. As soon as you see signs that make you think you or another person might be in need of support, speak up.

Choose your time and place

There is a time and a place for everything and when it comes to talking with someone about yours or their mental health, you need a time where you’re not rushed and you are in a place that is comfortable. Make sure you can devote your full attention to the conversation—that means no phones ringing or notifications popping up.

Manage your feelings

It can be hard to hear difficult or upsetting things, but you want to reassure and encourage the person, which means not showing signs of surprise or judgment. You want to reassure the person that it’s ok to be speaking to you, and that you will treat what they say with respect. 

Remember the person you’re talking to is human too

This is particularly useful if you’re talking about your own mental health issues, as we can often feel vulnerable. Try to remember the person you’re talking to is human too and even if they haven’t personally experienced mental health issues, they are likely to know somebody who has.

Consider a script

This kind of conversation is never going to be easy, so consider planning exactly what you’re going to say and how the other person might react. No real-life conversation will ever follow a script word for word, but this level of preparation will give you confidence. If you’re part of a support group or working with a healthcare professional, they might be able to help you role-play too.

Talk about the positives

Remember, by seeking support you’re saving your organization a lot of money and time. It’s also worthwhile considering how you can reframe the situation as an opportunity or strength. For example, if you’ve had experience managing your anxiety by clearly communicating your needs, this is likely to help you work with or lead others.

It’s never going to be easy to talk about this subject but change starts with a conversation.  And when people get the space and the support they need, it can change their careers, and their lives.

This article is for general informational purposes only. It is not medical advice and should not be used to make a diagnosis or treat a condition. If your mental health is suffering, please consult with a medical specialist.

Written by Dawn Metcalfe, this article first appeared on Forbes – you can see it here: https://forbesmiddleeast.com/6-tips-on-talking-about-mental-health-at-work

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We explored why HardTalk is often harder in healthcare here and also wanted to share this great piece which looks at the top five side effects of ineffective communication in healthcare…

“There are several indicators that your medical office has ineffective communication. Incomplete or inaccurate patient records and communication breakdowns can have serious consequences for the medical office staff and patients. One vital piece of information not communicated can have disastrous results. Although some mishaps are unavoidable, effective communication can result in better outcomes for patients and the overall success of the medical office.

There are five side effects of ineffective communication in the medical office:

Medical errors… There are many reasons why medical errors occur in the medical office. Most practices have (or should have) a system for preventing errors from occurring. Poor communication is the number one reason that medical errors occur when there is a system in place. Medical office staff, nurses, and physicians need to understand the importance of documentation, which is the best way to communicate patient events.

Documentation, including symptoms, diagnosis, care, treatment, medication, problems, risks to health, and safety information can be effective in preventing medical errors. Remember to document prior mistakes and even the patient’s concerns. Not all errors are avoidable, but when information is documented accurately, healthcare professionals are able to identify and correct mistakes before an adverse medical event occurs.”

For a deeper dive into the rest of the list, check out the article in full on VeryWellHealth https://www.verywellhealth.com/side-effects-of-ineffective-communication-2317356

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At this year’s Emirates Airline Festival of Literature, HardTalk author Dawn was lucky enough to meet and interview the legendary Sally Helgesen and discuss her most recent book, ‘How Women Rise’ (co-authored with Marshal Goldsmith).

Sally is known for her work in helping women understand and articulate their strengths, to build stronger, more inclusive corporate cultures. In this recent sit down with the BBC, she looked at the most common habits and behaviours which hold us back – and often these are the same ones which lead to the need for HardTalk… failing to speak up, worrying too much about being ‘nice’ or liked… sound familiar?

Check out her interview here and find out what else she had to say: https://www.bbc.com/ideas/videos/five-habits-that-hold-women-back-at-work/p079500v

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For any organisation, in any sector, most problems are caused by people. This means lost revenue and unhappy customers/employees. In healthcare, it could be the difference between life or death. Managing complex relationships and environments takes up more time than it should. This is time which should be focused on patient centricity and building a safer, more efficient environment.

We know that how people communicate with each other has an impact on results and we also know, in the case of doctors, that if they can communicate effectively with patients and teams, they will improve safety and reduce the risk of incident (and the potential consequences such as litigation).

This sounds obvious – but why is it not always widely accepted/embedded into culture? The same reason it doesn’t happen in other organisations. It’s hard. It involves lots of work, over time, and often dealing with egos that don’t think they have anything to learn. Or, if they do, it can’t possibly be that important.

Workplace culture – and its impact on bottom line and patient safety – is hard to measure. There is an abundance of business focused research, and anecdotal evidence. Physicians, surgeons and clinical senior leadership teams are detail orientated and analytical – it’s difficult to undertake research on culture and communication in a way that meets peer review journal standards as we see with medicine, although more emphasis is being placed on this now.

Unfortunately, much of the analysis comes after medical errors occur, in the form of investigation and reports. We recently wrote about a report which highlighted a toxic work environment among surgeons at a London hospital – the hospital had a cardiac surgery death rate of 3.7% – well above the national 2% average.

By this time, it’s too late. Communication and trust has been eroded past the point of return. Cultures are built on fear and blame, instead of accountability and kind candour. Culture – good or bad – impacts results. 

No matter how much our reliance on technological and scientific innovation and automation grows, humans will always be needed in healthcare – and this means we need to get better at HardTalk. 

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World Emoji Day was last week and it got the team discussing the use of the colourful characters at work, their impact on communication and the potential for misinterpretation.

Our workplaces are made up of multicultural, multigenerational workforces – there is never a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach when it comes to communication. Due to our filters – the way we see the world around us – we may react to something one way, while the person next to us reacts completely differently.

Remember, everything you say or every action you take is a choice, and it sends a signal. Are you sending the right signals using emojis at work? Read on to find out more…

Using emojis at work can boost your reputation – or destroy it (here’s how to know which): https://www.themuse.com/advice/using-emojis-at-work-can-boost-your-reputationor-destroy-it-heres-how-to-know-which

Should HR use emojis in the workplace?: https://www.hcamag.com/nz/specialisation/recruitment/should-hr-use-emojis-in-the-workplace/172939

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Regardless of company size and no matter what the reason, it is always hard to give somebody the bad news that they’re losing their job. Even if you think they’ve been underperforming or you know they’ll soon find something else, it’s unusual to find joy in letting someone go.

And no matter where you sit within the organization, as a manager or senior leader, knowing that you have to broach the news with the recipient can be uncomfortable at best, and downright daunting at worst. Even if you consider people skills among your strongest, having to deliver such bad news can send even the most composed among us into a tailspin. It’s important to take control of the situation, because how and when you break the news can help influence the tone of the ripple effect that is undoubtedly felt by the wider team. During prolonged periods of uncertainty, this matters even more.

There are ways to make it easier (even if it’ll never be easy) to tell someone bad news:

Ask for time—don’t ambush

Instead, be respectful and ask them if you could have 30 minutes (or however long you need) and then suggest a time and location. This gives them a heads up that something is going on and ensures you will both be able to focus.

Know when to stop talking

It’s normal to go into too much detail or spend too much time building up to your point. Or, getting lost in the condiments that accompany so many praise sandwiches—by this, we mean buttering them up with something positive, filling them with the bad news, but finishing with something unnecessarily positive again. It doesn’t soften the blow, but merely serves to confuse the message. Instead, script out what you’re going to say. And get to the point quickly.

Express that you’re sorry

You’re a human and you may well have worked with this person for some time—perhaps you even consider them a friend. So, it’s ok to say you’re sorry and feel bad, if it’s genuine. But don’t make it all about you.

Give your reasons concisely

Instead of making it about you, focus on the other person and what they need to hear. As per the point above, don’t confuse this by being unnecessarily flowery and positive. First, they need to understand—explain the reasoning behind the decision, as clearly as you can. This is why scripting can help you prepare.

Then ask for questions and answer them as best as you can. When you can’t answer, say so and offer alternative sources of information.

Explain what comes next

Focus on the person in front of you as they uncertainly wonder what’s ahead of them. You may be in a position to tell them about all the support available e.g. outplacement services, offering help as they consider their position and figure out ‘now, what?’ and ‘how?’

Offer to catch up again

To the extent that you mean it and it’s appropriate, offer to act as a sounding board/referee/point of information in the future. Not only is it the right thing to do, it’s also prudent—not only to manage the implications on the current business, but because one day you may involuntarily lose your job and need your network.

Treating people well as they leave is therefore becoming something employers who really care about employer brand are doing more of. They’ve realized there is a wide diaspora of ex ‘family members’ who are now working with competitors, clients and suppliers—ex-employees who may also be talking to the people you are trying to hire.

Offboarding correctly is something too many companies who purport to be in a war for talent forget to do, but it’s instrumental reputationally—which matters when it comes to recruitment and retention. So, when it comes to having the difficult conversation, remember to not just make it easier in the moment, but to focus on the longer-term gains.

This piece originally appeared in Forbes Middle East. Y ou can read this and more from Dawn here: https://forbesmiddleeast.com/author/13248/Dawn-Metcalfe

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Summer is upon us and frankly, we’re ready for some lightheartedness – so we’re here today to talk about laughter, and why we need to do it more at work.

We’re here to bust the myth that showing your personality or sense of humour at work will mean you’re taken less seriously. In fact, laughing at work can lead to increased productivity, analytic precision and collaboration. It can also act as a release – to ‘cool down your stress response’ and ‘increase your heart rate and blood pressure’ – in HardTalk terms, it helps you ensure Mr Spock is back in the driving seat and Homer is in the back, i.e. you are in control of your emotions and reactions. Laughter may just be the tonic to help create a healthier, more productive culture.

Now, we’re not suggesting that you pull a practical joke on your boss (a potentially career limiting move), or make an inappropriate quip about a colleague behind their back (which is never a nice thing to do). But there are times when laughter doesn’t just lift the team’s mood, it helps reduce the risk of conflict and boosts them in ways which are good for business…

“While on an investor tour in Europe, I ended a busy day by joining my boss at a nice restaurant. After he said something funny, I responded in my typical style – throwing back my head and letting out hearty, unabashed laughter. People were taken aback. They turned to stare at me.

I asked my red-faced boss whether my laughter had embarrassed him. “It is pretty loud,” he muttered under his breath.

Later that evening, I castigated myself. I lay awake, wondering how many other times my laugh might have caused discomfort in professional situations. Should I try to mute it? Should I give up my executive position and transfer back to sales, which had a more jovial atmosphere? Should I find a new job?”

Read on to learn more about the effects of laughter in Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2018/11/the-benefits-of-laughing-in-the-office

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In HardTalk we talk a lot about the need for psychological safety in the workplace – about creating a culture of kind candour, where people feel able to speak up, share ideas and take risks, without fear of retribution or humiliation. We love the work of Amy Edmondson – a Harvard Business School Professor and renowned expert on psychological safety and author of “The Fearless Organisation – Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation & Growth.”

She sat down with Dr Wanda Wallace to discuss how and why the most fearless, successful organisations are those built on a foundation of psychological safety. You can listen to the full interview here: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/115990/teams-that-succeed-with-amy-edmondson

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Failure – many of us fear it. Why? Because we don’t just dislike letting ourselves down – we often worry more about letting others down. Failure can induce anxiety, impact self-esteem and make us question things we thought we knew, or were good at.

But good things come from failure, too. In fact, new ways of doing things, fresh perspective and innovation can be born from failure.

Being allowed to fail is important – allowing our children to fail is imperative if we want them to be autonomous, competent and resilient. All behaviours we recognise as being positive in work and in life… so isn’t it better to help embed them earlier?

“Your teenager has a science project due. He hates science. He hates projects (as do you). Do you:

A. Set deadlines for him, get the necessary materials, lay them out on the table with some homemade chocolate chip cookies

B. Ask your neighbor who is a renowned chemist to stop by and wax poetic about the joys of the periodic table

C. Hide and pray

If, out of love or a desire to bolster your child’s self-esteem, you picked A or B, teacher and author Jessica Lahey thinks you’re wrong.

“Do I want [my kids] to be happy now and not-scared and not-anxious, or, a year from now, do I hope that they pushed through being a-little-anxious and a little scared and became a little more competent?” she told Quartz.

That question is at the heart of her best-selling book, The Gift of Failure. She realized not long ago that something was wrong with her parenting and something was amiss with the middle-school students she taught. They wilted in the face of challenge. They didn’t love learning like they used to. Parents took bad grades personally. Everyone was unhappy…”

Read on to learn why fearing failure could be holding us back, in Quartz: https://qz.com/527652/parents-let-your-kids-fail-youll-be-doing-them-a-favor/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=qz-organic

To learn more about our Workplace Readiness Programme, helping teenagers gain real-world professional experience and build vital soft skills, visit: https://pds-i.com/workplace-readiness-programme/ 

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