Mike Basevic's Blog - Posts Tagged "acceptance"
Why Your Child Isn't Motivated
Mike Basevic
All children are human DVR’s recording every single visual image they’ve seen since birth and continue to see on a daily basis. They capture these images and store them in their subconscious mind and it’s their perception and repetition of those images that develop their personality, their habits and their behavior throughout their life. In short, those images they see and their continued experiences in their life program their sub-conscious mind.
And, it’s the subconscious mind that runs about 95% of their life on a daily basis--while we think our children are making conscious decision in their actions-- more accurately, they are being led by that programming of their subconscious mind they have received since birth.
In addition to all of that, every ‘personal experience’ they have had throughout their life---both good & bad---both significant and not so significant--also programs their behavior. All of these experiences leave imprints and memories…some of those are good and recalling them bring a sense of happiness and some of those experiences leave emotional scars that sometimes stay for the rest of their lives.
All this is happening whether we realize it or not.
In addition to our children being human DVRs, we are too. We all are. We are vibrational energy magnets that gather information every second of every hour of every day of our lives. But, it’s those early years of images and experiences that seem to matter most.
Sure, some experiences will shape us or continue to shape us as they happen throughout our lives but, it’s important to realize that we are creating those experiences so being aware of that fact is the key if you want to make any changes.
We record images, store them in our subconscious & playback in our life. Our entire lives….record, store, playback…record, store, playback…record, store, playback. The playback is the life experiences we create based on our beliefs, our desires, our likes, our dislikes, our pleasures, our pain and of course---our state of being is a derivative of all that stuff. The state of being is the magnet that attracts it all back to us.
I mention this today because I am asked repeatedly by parents why their child has a bad attitude or isn’t motivated to do anything. There is a lot to it but if you want to help you child be happier or create better results, begin by being the example of what you want them to do and be.
Don’t bitch and moan about many things like the economy, lack of money or your job then expect them to be excited and happy. Don’t complain about their teacher or coach then expect them to give a great effort in school or sports. Don’t put constant, unrelenting pressure on them to get great grades (or else they feel your wrath) then expect them to happily bring home the A’s. Don’t tell them about all they do wrong and that they aren’t motivated in life then expect them to go out and excitedly achieve their goals.
Encourage them, support them, push them to be great while believing in them. Tell them they can be whatever they choose in life then help them find a way to get there. Help them discover those things they enjoy in life and move them towards their passions. Don’t tell them no, tell them that they (and you) will find a way to make their desire a reality. Don’t focus and harp on all those things they do wrong or their personality quirks. Focus on their good qualities only and compliment them often. Don’t belabor them on their mistakes. Teach them to be accountable, to be responsible, to be honest to themselves and others while teaching them that everyone falls down once in a while. Discipline them when necessary but always make sure they know you love them, no matter what.
Accept them, support them, encourage them and love them unconditionally and they will return the same to you.
Be the example you want your children to be and you will be amazed at what they will accomplish.
Coach Mike
All children are human DVR’s recording every single visual image they’ve seen since birth and continue to see on a daily basis. They capture these images and store them in their subconscious mind and it’s their perception and repetition of those images that develop their personality, their habits and their behavior throughout their life. In short, those images they see and their continued experiences in their life program their sub-conscious mind.
And, it’s the subconscious mind that runs about 95% of their life on a daily basis--while we think our children are making conscious decision in their actions-- more accurately, they are being led by that programming of their subconscious mind they have received since birth.
In addition to all of that, every ‘personal experience’ they have had throughout their life---both good & bad---both significant and not so significant--also programs their behavior. All of these experiences leave imprints and memories…some of those are good and recalling them bring a sense of happiness and some of those experiences leave emotional scars that sometimes stay for the rest of their lives.
All this is happening whether we realize it or not.
In addition to our children being human DVRs, we are too. We all are. We are vibrational energy magnets that gather information every second of every hour of every day of our lives. But, it’s those early years of images and experiences that seem to matter most.
Sure, some experiences will shape us or continue to shape us as they happen throughout our lives but, it’s important to realize that we are creating those experiences so being aware of that fact is the key if you want to make any changes.
We record images, store them in our subconscious & playback in our life. Our entire lives….record, store, playback…record, store, playback…record, store, playback. The playback is the life experiences we create based on our beliefs, our desires, our likes, our dislikes, our pleasures, our pain and of course---our state of being is a derivative of all that stuff. The state of being is the magnet that attracts it all back to us.
I mention this today because I am asked repeatedly by parents why their child has a bad attitude or isn’t motivated to do anything. There is a lot to it but if you want to help you child be happier or create better results, begin by being the example of what you want them to do and be.
Don’t bitch and moan about many things like the economy, lack of money or your job then expect them to be excited and happy. Don’t complain about their teacher or coach then expect them to give a great effort in school or sports. Don’t put constant, unrelenting pressure on them to get great grades (or else they feel your wrath) then expect them to happily bring home the A’s. Don’t tell them about all they do wrong and that they aren’t motivated in life then expect them to go out and excitedly achieve their goals.
Encourage them, support them, push them to be great while believing in them. Tell them they can be whatever they choose in life then help them find a way to get there. Help them discover those things they enjoy in life and move them towards their passions. Don’t tell them no, tell them that they (and you) will find a way to make their desire a reality. Don’t focus and harp on all those things they do wrong or their personality quirks. Focus on their good qualities only and compliment them often. Don’t belabor them on their mistakes. Teach them to be accountable, to be responsible, to be honest to themselves and others while teaching them that everyone falls down once in a while. Discipline them when necessary but always make sure they know you love them, no matter what.
Accept them, support them, encourage them and love them unconditionally and they will return the same to you.
Be the example you want your children to be and you will be amazed at what they will accomplish.
Coach Mike
What You've All Been Asking For..
Mike Basevic
Ok, here we go…
The two questions I receive most from people who have read my book are: 1. Is the story in chapter 4 really true of the team that left you and your daughter? And, 2. What ever happened to the players on the new team that had all of that success together?
It’s funny, I get at least 2-3 emails a week on that particular story and those teams. I even had an old friend of mine who has a special nickname for me ask me at dinner a couple weeks ago “Hey Sumbitch, what ever happened with that team in the book?”
So, here I will bring you up to date on the players of that team along with what I think was one of the most important lessons from that magical season of 2007. To this day, it was one of the most enjoyable years of my life and one that changed me forever.
First if you haven’t read the book yet, what the hell are you waiting for? Just kidding. If you haven’t read the book, it is filled with real life stories of people and teams overcoming their challenges and achieving their goals using the No Limits principles. I also include many of my own life experiences and obstacles that helped me learn what I needed to learn in order to pass this information on to others. Chapter 4 of the book is about a team I coached that left me and my 14 year old daughter during a national tournament (they went to one of our top competitors who promised them the moon) and the subsequent ‘new’ team that I coached the following season. This ‘new’ team began with a big thud in the fall and was ridiculed and left for dead by the top teams in the area but by the spring of 2007—after a winter of physical and mental training—they were the top team in the area who did some pretty amazing things including a 33 game winning streak against many of those top teams, won 9 tournament championships (were in finals of 12 of 14 tournaments they played that year), finished 9th in the AFA National Tournament and they even beat that unbeatable team that left me and my daughter the year before--in their own hosted tournament which was a 48 team ASA National Qualifier-- by a final score of 11-2 on our way to winning the title of that tourney.
The full story is in chapter 4 but, here is the promised update on what those talented players are up to now.
I am proud to say that all of the players realized their dreams and went on to college and many of them are still playing softball at the highest level. I will use their nicknames to keep their privacy.
Pluto is a sophomore at Loyola University in Chicago and is studying Psychology. She had to give up softball due to a chronic wrist injury but is thriving at Loyola and a recent member of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars.
T-Rex played a couple more years of softball but went on to be a high school track star as one of the top runners in the state of Indiana and is now studying nursing at IUPUI.
Rudy is going to graduate from Arizona State University this May with a B.A. in Communications with a minor in Media Analysis. In addition to playing softball, she was captain of her HS golf team but gave them up to focus on her education at ASU. She did say recently that she has developed into a wicked kick ball pitcher on campus at ASU.
Binky is a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin and is playing softball there on scholarship. In her first ever at-bat at UW, she hit a game winning home run to give the Badgers a 6-5 10-inning win. She was a fixture as one of the top student athletes in Illinois throughout high school and continues that at UW. She is heading to California this week to play ball.
Kash is a junior and two year starter at Calumet College of St. Joseph in Indiana. She is still wreaking havoc on the base paths on the field and studying exercise science off the field. I spoke to her this week, she is down in San Antonio playing softball and: “checking to see what happened at the Alamo.”
Heat is studying business at Purdue University and will probably be a millionaire before the age of 30. She just celebrated her 21st birthday and as she called it, ‘her first LEGAL drink’.
J.B. is playing softball on scholarship at Loyola University in Chicago while studying psychology. She is a junior and three year starter and is one of the top hitters on the team. Her dad sent me a text the other day to tell me that he saw her hit her first career home run down in Alabama last week—a monster shot over the left field wall.
Cheese is a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay and playing softball on scholarship. She is currently a starter and was a standout player throughout her high school career including H.S. Player of the Year honors in Illinois.
Mint will graduate this spring with a degree in Secondary Math Education from Indiana University (IPFW) and has played softball all four years including starting the last three seasons. She credits her softball experiences with the best life lessons she has learned to date.
Nicor is a junior at Indiana University and is studying exercise sciences and physical therapy. Despite having a curve ball that buckled hitters knees, she gave up organized softball to focus on her education and her new goal is to open a series of Physical Therapy Centers with her future business partner Kash.
T-Mac is playing softball on scholarship at Valparaiso University. She is a junior, a two year starter and one of the top hitters on the team. I never met anyone who wanted to play softball in college more than her and I still remember the night when she called me in tears because the college she wanted offered their scholarship to another catcher. Well, she ended up at Valpo and recently told me she wouldn’t change a thing as this week she is heading to Boise for a tourney then it’s off to Hawaii to play some of the top teams in the country. Dreams do come true.
Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane and the update on that amazing team. What I take most away from those experiences is that when you set a goal and commit to that goal--while ignoring all of the people and things that tell you why it can’t happen--you will be amazed at what you can accomplish if you stay committed and believe. Trust me, those young athletes and our team have had many down days, difficult challenges and occasional self-doubt which would cause many people to quit. Instead, they always moved forward (and still do) with the complete belief of their goals, knowing exactly who they are and what they were going to achieve.
We were grateful for each other, our experiences, our success and to this day, many of them are still very good friends as they travel to create their new amazing life experiences.
I also thought it was appropriate to close this newsletter and leave you with what I used to tell those players and fellow coaches before every game. Feel free to keep it in mind whenever you have a goal you are trying to accomplish…
Go out today and do your best. Know that you are prepared physically and mentally to be great today so just get out of the way and allow yourself to perform the way you have trained yourself to perform. Stay in the moment and focus on the things that you can control like attitude, work ethic, commitment, concentration and enthusiasm. Don’t dwell on the past mistakes and don’t worry about the future results, just allow yourself to be great in this moment because it’s only this moment that is real. Play the game through your own eyes and don’t worry about anything outside of yourself because nothing or no one can affect what you do. Don’t worry about wins and losses, just do your best and success will take care of itself. You are great, you are perfect and you are way bigger than today’s results. Your commitment to be your best means you have already succeeded and you can’t fail as long as you commit to do your best.
Have fun, good luck and when you are out there today and beyond, always remember that Coach Mike loves you…no matter what.
Coach Mike
For more information on Coach Mike's book, Mastering the Mental Edge, click here: http://nolimitsmentaledge.com/products/no-limits-master
Ok, here we go…
The two questions I receive most from people who have read my book are: 1. Is the story in chapter 4 really true of the team that left you and your daughter? And, 2. What ever happened to the players on the new team that had all of that success together?
It’s funny, I get at least 2-3 emails a week on that particular story and those teams. I even had an old friend of mine who has a special nickname for me ask me at dinner a couple weeks ago “Hey Sumbitch, what ever happened with that team in the book?”
So, here I will bring you up to date on the players of that team along with what I think was one of the most important lessons from that magical season of 2007. To this day, it was one of the most enjoyable years of my life and one that changed me forever.
First if you haven’t read the book yet, what the hell are you waiting for? Just kidding. If you haven’t read the book, it is filled with real life stories of people and teams overcoming their challenges and achieving their goals using the No Limits principles. I also include many of my own life experiences and obstacles that helped me learn what I needed to learn in order to pass this information on to others. Chapter 4 of the book is about a team I coached that left me and my 14 year old daughter during a national tournament (they went to one of our top competitors who promised them the moon) and the subsequent ‘new’ team that I coached the following season. This ‘new’ team began with a big thud in the fall and was ridiculed and left for dead by the top teams in the area but by the spring of 2007—after a winter of physical and mental training—they were the top team in the area who did some pretty amazing things including a 33 game winning streak against many of those top teams, won 9 tournament championships (were in finals of 12 of 14 tournaments they played that year), finished 9th in the AFA National Tournament and they even beat that unbeatable team that left me and my daughter the year before--in their own hosted tournament which was a 48 team ASA National Qualifier-- by a final score of 11-2 on our way to winning the title of that tourney.
The full story is in chapter 4 but, here is the promised update on what those talented players are up to now.
I am proud to say that all of the players realized their dreams and went on to college and many of them are still playing softball at the highest level. I will use their nicknames to keep their privacy.
Pluto is a sophomore at Loyola University in Chicago and is studying Psychology. She had to give up softball due to a chronic wrist injury but is thriving at Loyola and a recent member of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars.
T-Rex played a couple more years of softball but went on to be a high school track star as one of the top runners in the state of Indiana and is now studying nursing at IUPUI.
Rudy is going to graduate from Arizona State University this May with a B.A. in Communications with a minor in Media Analysis. In addition to playing softball, she was captain of her HS golf team but gave them up to focus on her education at ASU. She did say recently that she has developed into a wicked kick ball pitcher on campus at ASU.
Binky is a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin and is playing softball there on scholarship. In her first ever at-bat at UW, she hit a game winning home run to give the Badgers a 6-5 10-inning win. She was a fixture as one of the top student athletes in Illinois throughout high school and continues that at UW. She is heading to California this week to play ball.
Kash is a junior and two year starter at Calumet College of St. Joseph in Indiana. She is still wreaking havoc on the base paths on the field and studying exercise science off the field. I spoke to her this week, she is down in San Antonio playing softball and: “checking to see what happened at the Alamo.”
Heat is studying business at Purdue University and will probably be a millionaire before the age of 30. She just celebrated her 21st birthday and as she called it, ‘her first LEGAL drink’.
J.B. is playing softball on scholarship at Loyola University in Chicago while studying psychology. She is a junior and three year starter and is one of the top hitters on the team. Her dad sent me a text the other day to tell me that he saw her hit her first career home run down in Alabama last week—a monster shot over the left field wall.
Cheese is a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay and playing softball on scholarship. She is currently a starter and was a standout player throughout her high school career including H.S. Player of the Year honors in Illinois.
Mint will graduate this spring with a degree in Secondary Math Education from Indiana University (IPFW) and has played softball all four years including starting the last three seasons. She credits her softball experiences with the best life lessons she has learned to date.
Nicor is a junior at Indiana University and is studying exercise sciences and physical therapy. Despite having a curve ball that buckled hitters knees, she gave up organized softball to focus on her education and her new goal is to open a series of Physical Therapy Centers with her future business partner Kash.
T-Mac is playing softball on scholarship at Valparaiso University. She is a junior, a two year starter and one of the top hitters on the team. I never met anyone who wanted to play softball in college more than her and I still remember the night when she called me in tears because the college she wanted offered their scholarship to another catcher. Well, she ended up at Valpo and recently told me she wouldn’t change a thing as this week she is heading to Boise for a tourney then it’s off to Hawaii to play some of the top teams in the country. Dreams do come true.
Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane and the update on that amazing team. What I take most away from those experiences is that when you set a goal and commit to that goal--while ignoring all of the people and things that tell you why it can’t happen--you will be amazed at what you can accomplish if you stay committed and believe. Trust me, those young athletes and our team have had many down days, difficult challenges and occasional self-doubt which would cause many people to quit. Instead, they always moved forward (and still do) with the complete belief of their goals, knowing exactly who they are and what they were going to achieve.
We were grateful for each other, our experiences, our success and to this day, many of them are still very good friends as they travel to create their new amazing life experiences.
I also thought it was appropriate to close this newsletter and leave you with what I used to tell those players and fellow coaches before every game. Feel free to keep it in mind whenever you have a goal you are trying to accomplish…
Go out today and do your best. Know that you are prepared physically and mentally to be great today so just get out of the way and allow yourself to perform the way you have trained yourself to perform. Stay in the moment and focus on the things that you can control like attitude, work ethic, commitment, concentration and enthusiasm. Don’t dwell on the past mistakes and don’t worry about the future results, just allow yourself to be great in this moment because it’s only this moment that is real. Play the game through your own eyes and don’t worry about anything outside of yourself because nothing or no one can affect what you do. Don’t worry about wins and losses, just do your best and success will take care of itself. You are great, you are perfect and you are way bigger than today’s results. Your commitment to be your best means you have already succeeded and you can’t fail as long as you commit to do your best.
Have fun, good luck and when you are out there today and beyond, always remember that Coach Mike loves you…no matter what.
Coach Mike
For more information on Coach Mike's book, Mastering the Mental Edge, click here: http://nolimitsmentaledge.com/products/no-limits-master
