Arbinger Institute's Blog

Why technical skill alone is not enough

If you’re only hiring for technical skill, you’re doing it wrong. And your culture, your teams, and your bottom line are already paying the price. Because while technical capability is critical, it’s not what sets apart your high performers. What does? Impact and effort—someone’s ability to show up accountably in every relationship and result. 

As simple as it would be if certifications and years of experience guaranteed effectiveness, they don’t. 

Here’s what you should actually be hiring for:

Capability. Impact. Effort.

This is the winning trifecta. Capability isn’t just a set of skills—it’s about how well someone applies what they know. Do they elevate the work of others, or bulldoze through it? Do they ask good questions, push toward shared results, and adapt when things don’t go as planned? 

Impact is about presence. What’s it like to work with this person? Do they increase the effectiveness of a team? Do they make other people better? Or do they create bottlenecks, tension, and drama for others? 

And effort. Look, effort isn’t about grinding the longest hours or always saying yes. It’s about showing up fully. Being solution-oriented. Leaning in when things get hard instead of tapping out. It’s initiative, ownership, and energy. 

You can—and should—screen for all three. 

The way you can do that is to filter for the right mindset. A person’s mindset will determine whether they work from an inward space: self-focused, blame-oriented, self-protective, or an outward one: people-centered, collaborative, accountable. 

It’s impossible to just hire a skill set. That skillset will either become a multiplier or a liability—depending on their mindset. So how do you figure out which one you’re talking to in an interview? 

Start by shifting your own mindset.

Too many hiring managers walk into interviews thinking, What do I need this person to do for me? instead of How will this person impact others around them as they accomplish their objectives? That mindset alone will shape the questions you ask. 

Stop asking robotic questions about strengths and weaknesses. Anyone can rehearse those. Ask about past conflict and watch how they talk about other people. Ask what feedback they’ve received—and what they did with it. Ask how they’ve helped others succeed. You’ll learn more about their mindset in five minutes than you will in an hour of surface-level chat. 

To ensure you have the right mindset and can ask the most helpful questions, start by testing your own. Take our mindset assessment to check where you’re operating from—because if you’re hiring from an inward place, you’re likely to hire inward people. 

What to listen for instead of what to look for.

People will tell you who they are if you’re listening. Because it’s not just what people say—but how they say it. Do they take responsibility? Do they speak respectfully about people they’ve struggled with? Do they recognize shared wins or make themselves the hero in every story? 

If someone describes every challenge as someone else’s fault—run. If they light up when describing how they helped a teammate win—dig deeper. You may have a gem in front of you. 

Some candidates are charismatic, articulate, and excellent at telling you what you want to hear. But talk isn’t work. You’re not hiring the best storyteller—you’re hiring someone who’s going to get in the trenches and elevate the people around them. You don’t want performers. You want partners. 

Culture isn’t just what you nurture—it’s what you tolerate. And when you bring in someone who’s not willing to take ownership, it communicates to the rest of the team that you are okay with that. At best, they’ll coast. At worst, they’ll erode what the team has built. 

If you want accountability, hire accountable people. People who see problems and own them, who lean into feedback, and care about their impact. 

How to gauge the effort a candidate will bring.

Effort isn’t about a checkbox. It’s not about saying, “I’m a hard worker” on a cover letter. It’s something you feel when you meet someone who is all in. 

Want to test it? Ask about a time when something was outside their job description. Did they step in or step away? Did they see the bigger picture or play the “not my job” card? 

That will help you know if they are a team player, or there just for themselves. 

Creating a culture of ownership.

If you want a culture of ownership, you’ve got to own the hiring process. 

Stop settling for credentials over character. Start hiring for who a person is, in addition to what they know. Because the cost of a mis-hire isn’t just one challenging employee. It’s every hour your team spends managing them. Every ounce of energy drained. Every opportunity lost because others have to make up for them.  

You can do better than that. It’s time to hire like your culture depends on it—because it does. For additional ideas of how to evaluate mindset in the hiring process, take our mindset assessment. And next time you sit down across from a candidate, ask yourself: Is this person going to make us better as they do their job? Or do their job at the expense of others.

The post Hiring for Impact: Stop Settling for Technical Talent Alone appeared first on Arbinger.

Why Stay Interviews Are the Key to Retention and Growth

If you’re waiting for your people to walk out the door before you start asking meaningful questions about their experience at work, you’re missing the point. When we wait until employees have decided to leave to figure out what is going wrong, we are losing the opportunity to connect, to truly understand what matters to our employees, and to build the kind of environment that keeps them engaged and loyal long so that they don’t start looking for the exit.

What would happen to retention in your organization if, instead of learning about and addressing issues when people are walking out the door, you proactively created the space for honest conversations before the resignation letter is even a thought?

That’s where stay interviews come in. And as we see it, stay interviews are more than just a “check-the-box” exercise. They’re an opportunity to shift how we view and relate to those who work with us. They’re a chance to ask the essential questions, like:

What’s going well for you here?

What could be better?

Do you feel heard?

But here’s the thing: the questions themselves are secondary to the mindset behind them. When we genuinely want to understand someone’s experience, we need to see them. Not just as employees who do the work, but as people—whole, complex, and valuable individuals who contribute much more than just a paycheck. If we see them as people, wouldn’t we be curious about what their experience is like right now, regardless of whether they’ve shown signs of wanting to leave? How else will they know that we want their unvarnished feedback regarding what it’s really like for them to work at our organization, if we don’t ask?

See people

The simple truth is that people don’t leave organizations; they leave an experience that is no longer satisfying at best and unbearable at worst. People leave because they don’t feel valued. This is why actively creating a space where people feel seen—not just as workers, but as individuals with needs, concerns, and ideas that matter—is vital.

And, yes, this includes proactively asking tough questions. If we’re going to ask employees to share their thoughts and concerns, we need to create a space that allows for honest, unfiltered feedback and then follows with collaborative effort make changes together.

Create the safety to share

The greatest hurdle with stay interviews is often the reluctance some employees may feel to share openly. What if they don’t feel safe enough to tell the truth? What if they fear retribution or that their honesty will be used against them? If we don’t create an environment where employees feel safe sharing their true feelings, all we’re doing is checking a box. And that’s not the point.

To get to the heart of the matter and really make progress, we have to go beyond just asking questions. We need to proactively share first—we need to meet to give. When we step into the conversation and model vulnerability by owning our own shortcomings as leaders, we show employees that it’s safe to be open, to share their thoughts without fear, and to be a part of the solution. In practice, this looks like leaders being the first to acknowledge areas where they could improve. It means saying things like:

“We’ve noticed that communication in our team could be better.”

“We see that work-life balance could be a challenge for some of you right now.”

“We know we have room to grow in terms of how we recognize your hard work.”

By leading with this level of honesty, we not only acknowledge areas where we have room to improve, but we also open up the space for employees to feel safe enough to share their own experiences. We are saying, “We get it. We’re here to improve. We see some areas where we need to change, but we have a lot of blind spots and we really want to know what your experience has been.”

This approach breaks down the barriers that prevent honest conversations. When employees see that leadership is willing to be vulnerable and to acknowledge their own imperfections, it makes it easier for them to reciprocate. They know they’re not being judged, they’re being heard.

Why stay interviews matter more than ever

Retention has always been a challenge for organizations, but right now, in a world that’s more dynamic and fluid than ever, the stakes are even higher. Gallup’s research consistently shows that organizations with higher employee engagement experience higher productivity, better retention, and greater profitability. And what drives engagement? Feeling seen, heard, and understood by the organization you work for.

If we don’t regularly check in with employees, if we don’t create the space for those critical conversations, we’re setting ourselves up for avoidable turnover. The cost of losing an employee goes far beyond the financial hit of hiring and training a new one. It’s the loss of valuable institutional knowledge, the loss of relationships, and the decline in team morale that comes with it.

Stay interviews help prevent this by fostering a culture of continuous improvement. Instead of waiting until someone is about to leave, they proactively address the issues that matter most to employees. They’re a tool that allows organizations to create a work environment where people not only want to stay but choose to stay.

Implementing stay interviews: practical steps for success

We can’t just talk the talk—we have to walk the walk. If stay interviews are going to make a real impact, they need to be more than a one-time check-in. Here’s how to make them work:

4. Make It Ongoing. Stay interviews shouldn’t be a one-off exercise. Embed them into your regular rhythm of engagement. Use them as a tool for ongoing dialogue, not just a crisis-response mechanism. Make them a part of your leadership philosophy, and they’ll become a powerful way to build connection, trust, and loyalty within your team.
The bottom line: stay interviews are about more than just retention Stay interviews aren’t just about keeping people around; they’re about building a culture where people feel connected, heard, and empowered. They’re about creating a work environment where employees feel seen—not just as resources, but as full human beings with unique experiences and perspectives. When we operate from that mindset, retention becomes a natural byproduct.

1. See People. Start by seeing the person, not the role they’re filling. Approach the interview from the perspective of genuine curiosity about their experience. It’s not about the company’s agenda—it’s about them. Ask questions that invite honest feedback, like, “What’s one thing that would make you feel more engaged here?” or, “If you could change anything, what would it be?”

2. Create Psychological Safety. Be willing to lead with vulnerability. Share where you see room for growth in your leadership or where the organization can improve. This establishes an open, non-judgmental space for honest conversation.

3. Follow Through—No Excuses. Employees need to feel that their feedback won’t just disappear into the ether. To create this trust, you have to act. The worst thing you can do is ask for feedback and then do nothing with it. Act on the insights you gain from stay interviews. Employees will only trust you if they see changes happening based on their input. Make sure to communicate any actions you’re taking as a result of their feedback. This builds trust and shows that their voices matter.

4. Make It Ongoing. Stay interviews shouldn’t be a one-off exercise. Embed them into your regular rhythm of engagement. Use them as a tool for ongoing dialogue, not just a crisis-response mechanism. Make them a part of your leadership philosophy, and they’ll become a powerful way to build connection, trust, and loyalty within your team.

The bottom line: stay interviews are about more than just retention

Stay interviews aren’t just about keeping people around; they’re about building a culture where people feel connected, heard, and empowered. They’re about creating a work environment where employees feel seen—not just as resources, but as full human beings with unique experiences and perspectives. When we operate from that mindset, retention becomes a natural byproduct.

The post Stop Waiting for People to Leave: Why Stay Interviews Are the Key to Retention and Growth appeared first on Arbinger.

Gregg Popovich’s true legacy isn’t just wins—it’s a culture of outward mindset leadership that transformed the Spurs into a team-first powerhouse. Winning without ego

His 1,422 victories and five NBA championships make him one of the most successful coaches in the history of professional sports—but they aren’t his real legacy. 

Gregg Popovich’s true legacy lies not in his record, but in how he built it: by creating a culture rooted in selflessness, deep connection, and shared responsibility. He won through mindset. A mindset unconcerned with ego, hierarchy, or personal glory. 

When we first published The Outward Mindset in 2016, we spotlighted the San Antonio Spurs as an example of what it looks like when a team becomes so alive to each other that they appear to act as a single, fluid entity. That’s the kind of team every leader dreams of building—in sports, business, education, or government. 

Culture beats strategy

The Spurs didn’t escape the brutal cycles of rebuilding by dominating the draft or chasing superstars. They didn’t rely on charisma or flashy plays. They built something deeper—something that most teams never achieve: a culture that had mindset at the heart. 

“When you play the Spurs,” we say in The Outward Mindset, “you play a dynamically adaptive outward-mindset organism…the ball doesn’t stick in the hands of any player. The moment it would be more advantageous for the ball to be somewhere else, the ball moves there. There is no ego on the floor that keeps the most advantageous moves from happening.” 

That kind of seamless coordination can’t be engineered through rules, compliance, or even great strategy. It emerges only when people care deeply about one another—when they see each other as people, not as obstacles, vehicles, or irrelevancies. When they operate with an outward mindset. 

Popovich didn’t just draft for skill. He recruited for humility, awareness of others, and mindset. 

At the core of his approach was a demand that players “get over themselves.” In practice, this meant building a team of individuals who prioritized collective success over personal accolades—who were more concerned about helping a teammate improve than padding their own stats. 

That mindset turned the Spurs into a system that elevated everyone. 

A blueprint for any leader

The four core priorities behind the Spurs’ sustained success form a powerful blueprint for any leader looking to build a culture of sustainable, high-level performance. 

1. Be intentional about connection

Popovich was deliberate about building what he called “relationship excellence.” It started with recruiting players who were selfless and valued teamwork. Anyone who played for themselves didn’t last. That intentional focus on connection created trust, unity, and the kind of chemistry you can’t fake. 

2. Care for people as people

Pop got involved in his players’ lives off the court. He treated them as full human beings, not just performers. That kind of care built loyalty, psychological safety, and an environment where players gave their all—because they knew their coach saw them and valued them beyond basketball. 

3. Give people a voice

Candor, honesty, and open-mindedness defined Popovich’s leadership. He spoke his mind—and expected the same from others. He expected honesty and welcomed disagreement, creating space for real dialogue and shared ownership. This built a culture of transparency and shared ownership, where people were encouraged to contribute, challenge, and co-create solutions. 

3. Build task excellence on relationship excellence

The Spurs played with machine-like precision, but it wasn’t mechanics that made it work—it was trust. Pop understood that task excellence isn’t sustainable without strong relationships. As Popovich put it: “We are disciplined, but that’s not enough. Relationships with people are what it’s all about. You have to make players realize you care about them. And they have to care about each other and be interested in each other.” 

The culture the Spurs fostered wasn’t an accessory to their performance—it was what made their performance possible. 

From basketball to boardrooms

Popovich’s insights extend far beyond the court. 

His legacy challenges a deeply ingrained assumption in leadership: that people will perform if we give them the right incentives, pressure, or policies. That’s a misunderstanding of what drives human behavior. What Popovich demonstrated—what we have found across every industry—is that the most powerful force in any organization is how people see and regard one another. 

When teammates care deeply about one another, they do more than play better. They elevate each other. They feel a deep obligation to grow, not because of external pressure, but because they don’t want to let each other down. 

They feel ownership, not just for their roles, but for the success of others. 

This is the essence of an outward mindset: seeing others as people whose needs, challenges, and objectives matter as much as our own. And from that mindset flows the kind of behavior that transforms teams—sharing knowledge, stepping up without being asked, correcting mistakes quickly, offering support, and performing at one’s best because others are counting on it. 

Carrying the legacy forward

Gregg Popovich didn’t just build winning teams—he exposed every excuse leaders make when they fail to build real culture. 

It’s not about talent. It’s not about luck. It’s not even about strategy. It’s about mindset. 

Pop proved that sustainable success comes from how people see and treat each other. He didn’t tolerate ego, drama, or performative leadership. He demanded connection. He built trust. He created a culture where people cared about each other—and that was the difference. 

So where do you start? Incorporate the 3A+ tool on your team. It measures capability, impact on others, and effort. Because as we’ve seen from Popovich, someone may have the skill and even the drive—but if they’re unwilling to consider their impact on others, they’ll drag the team down. Period. 

And if Pop could create this culture with a rotating cast of role players and late-round picks, you can do it too. 

The post The real legacy of Gregg Popovich: A culture built on mindset appeared first on Arbinger.

The invisible epidemic in leadership (and why you should be worried) Let’s talk about Semmelweis—because this is your story, too 

 If you’ve never heard of Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis, buckle up. Because this story is about you. 

Mid-1800s. Vienna General Hospital. Two maternity wards. One run by midwives, the other by doctors. The mortality rate in the doctors’ ward? Astronomically higher. Women were dying at terrifying rates from puerperal fever (childbed fever). 

And here’s the kicker: Nobody knew why. 

Semmelweis starts digging. He notices that doctors often go straight from autopsies to delivering babies—without washing their hands. No soap. No antiseptic. Just straight-up body-to-body contamination. He puts two and two together and thinks, “My goodness, we’re the problem.” 

So he introduces handwashing with chlorinated lime. Mortality rates plummet. A miracle, right? 

Wrong. 

Because here’s where self-deception rears its ugly head: his peers refused to believe they were causing harm. Admitting it would mean admitting they’d been complicit in the deaths of hundreds—maybe thousands. Their egos couldn’t handle it. So they fought back, mocked him, and rejected his evidence. Eventually, Semmelweis was discredited and institutionalized. He died disgraced. And women kept dying. 

Why? Because people would rather double down on their illusion of rightness than confront the horror of being wrong. 

And that, my friend, is the exact trap most leaders are in. 

Self-deception: the ultimate leadership saboteur

Think this doesn’t apply to you? Think again. Self-deception is what happens when you start thinking: 

“My team just isn’t motivated.” “These people can’t handle change.” “If they’d just execute, we’d be fine.”

You’re not seeing reality. And your leadership gets distorted by it. The result? You put your energy in all the wrong places—fixing symptoms instead of root causes. 

That’s a leadership misdiagnosis. And it will tank your KPIs every time. 

You can’t fix what you won’t own 

Your mindset—especially an inward mindset—might be the biggest obstacle to your strategy working. 

An inward mindset means you see others as objects—obstacles, vehicles, irrelevancies, but not people. And when people become “problems” instead of people with problems, you’re in dangerous territory. 

Your team feels it. Communication breaks down. Innovation stalls. You try to fix things with tighter controls or new incentives. But it’s all just treating symptoms. 

Until you shift your mindset, you’re just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. 

The cure? See people as people 

Semmelweis saw the truth: his own actions were hurting people. That takes guts. Can you do the same? 

Because the fix isn’t a new strategy doc or another offsite. It’s seeing your team and yourself differently. 

That’s what we call an outward mindset. And it changes everything. 

You stop blaming and start listening. You stop demanding and start collaborating. You stop defending and start owning. 

When you show up like that, people respond. Performance improves. Trust builds. Strategy actually sticks—because now your people are bought in. Not because you pushed them harder, but because you finally started leading with clarity and truth. 

The bottom line 

Dr. Semmelweis had the cure, and people ignored him—because the truth was too uncomfortable. Don’t make the same mistake. If you’re serious about culture transformation, strategic alignment, and real leadership impact, then the first place to look isn’t the org chart or the dashboard. It’s the mirror. 

So, what’s your Semmelweis moment? 

Because until you have one, your strategy isn’t going to work the way you want it to. 

The post Leadership misdiagnoses are killing your strategy—here’s the cure appeared first on Arbinger.

When feedback feels like a threat

When was the last time someone gave you feedback that made you feel truly seen—not shamed, not belittled, but invited to grow? 

If that kind of experience feels rare, you’re not alone. In many workplaces, feedback is wrapped in frustration, judgment, or even veiled hostility. It might not always be explicit, but the message is clear: you’re a problem. 

This is especially true in accountability in leadership. There’s a widespread belief—often unspoken but deeply ingrained—that in order to give corrective feedback, a leader must first feel angry, disappointed, or frustrated enough to “justify” the conversation. But when correction or feedback comes from a place of anger, it’s not an invitation—it’s a threat. 

And threats don’t transform people. They entrench them.  

Why anger sabotages accountability 

When we use anger as a tool—as a source of momentum to “finally say something” or “really get through to someone”—we are operating from an inward mindset. That mindset sees others as objects: as obstacles to our goals, burdens to manage, or vehicles to get us where we want to go. In this view, our  feedback becomes more about offloading our emotions than helping them succeed.  

From this inward stance, corrective conversations feel adversarial, no matter how polished our words may be. People pick up on the undertone of resentment. They feel blamed. And blame breeds defensiveness. As The Anatomy of Peace puts it, the moment someone feels the need to defend themselves, they stop learning. They start surviving. 

This is one of the central paradoxes in performance conversations: the more aggressively we try to correct someone, the more resistance we trigger—and the cycle reinforces itself. 

So how do we hold people accountable without backing them into a corner? 

Accountability as an act of care 

Accountability at its core, is not about consequences. It’s about clarity and commitment—clarity about what matters and commitment to helping someone live into their potential. 

In fact, the root of the word “accountability” points to being “answerable”— shares roots with the idea of being answerable—not in a punitive sense, but in a relational one. To be answerable to someone means there’s a relationship in place, a sense of mutual responsibility. 

Making the subtle shift of thinking about accountability as something we hold with people, not over them, unlocks a new kind of effectiveness. When feedback is grounded in respect, they can stop defending and start listening. 

A regional manager in a large healthcare organization said it best: 

“I used to wait until I was so frustrated I couldn’t NOT say something. And by then, it always came out sideways. I didn’t realize my feedback was more about me than them. Arbinger helped me see that accountability doesn’t require anger—it requires connection.” 

What it looks like to invite growth, not demand it 

So what does respect-based accountability actually look like? 

It starts long before the feedback conversation. 

Leaders who operate from an outward mindset begin by seeing others as people—with fears, hopes, and challenges just as real as their own. That changes everything. It shifts the goal from fixing someone to understanding them and supporting their success. 

That’s why Arbinger-trained leaders often use the word invitation when talking about feedback. An invitation implies choice, dignity, and relationship. It doesn’t mean soft-pedaling the truth or avoiding hard conversations. It means delivering truth in a way that the other person can receive. In that kind of environment, people don’t have to brace themselves. They don’t have to protect their identity. They’re free to reflect, respond, and grow. 

Respect doesn’t excuse poor performance 

It’s important to note: this approach does not mean letting people off the hook. Quite the opposite. 

An inward mindset often leads us to vacillate between two extremes—avoidance and aggression. We either suppress the need to say something, or we explode with built-up emotion. But an outward mindset gives us a third way: honest, timely, and relational accountability. 

Respect-based feedback is direct. It’s clear. But it’s never dehumanizing. 

When leaders are grounded in care and curiosity, they’re able to ask powerful, non-defensive questions: 

What might be getting in the way for this person? How might I be contributing to the problem? How can I communicate this feedback in a way that affirms their value as a person while naming what needs to change? 

And because the feedback is anchored in partnership, not punishment, it’s far more likely to stick. 

When people feel seen, they can see themselves 

Most people want to do well. Few employees wake up thinking, “How can I underperform today?” But when feedback feels like a personal indictment, self-protection kicks in. People focus on defending themselves, not improving. 

Respectful feedback flips the script. When people feel seen, they can see themselves more clearly. They can recognize the gap between where they are and where they could be—not as failure, but as possibility. 

That’s the real opportunity in accountability in leadership. Not just to correct behavior—but to invite people into their own potential. 

Transformation begins with how we see. If we see someone as a problem, they will feel like one. But if we see them as a person, they’ll sense that—and become far more likely to rise to the vision we hold for them. 

Letting care lead the way 

True leadership requires courage—the courage to see others clearly, speak truthfully, and stay grounded in care even when conversations are hard. 

When we stop using frustration as fuel for feedback, we unlock a better way forward. One where people feel invited—not indicted. One where accountability builds trust instead of breaking it. One where respect, not resentment, becomes the foundation for growth. 

Because when people know they matter, they’re far more likely to show up in ways that matter. 

The post How to not make your feedback feel like a threat appeared first on Arbinger.

Chris, one of our facilitators and a licensed clinical therapist, shared a moment that quietly—and powerfully—altered the way he showed up as a father.

His 15-year-old daughter walked in the door after school one day and handed him a four-page article. It was called Tell Me More: On the Fine Art of Listening. No commentary. No instructions. Just a small, poignant offering.

Chris read the article—and it nearly broke his heart. His daughter was trying to tell him something: You don’t really listen to me.

Not long after, Chris reflected on what that moment taught him. He said, “I find now that listening is the only way for me to really see someone. Otherwise, I just go on what I already know and what I think I know. And that troubles people. They want to be seen and heard from where they are—not from where I assume they are.”

This insight isn’t just about parenting. It’s about leadership. Relationships. Teams. Culture. It’s about how we move through the world.

Because how we listen reveals how we see.

Journalist Brenda Ueland, in the same article Chris’s daughter gave him, wrote this about listening:

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius as though it did us good, like ultraviolet rays.”

“When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life.”

This is what Chris’s daughter was aching for. And it’s what many of us are aching for—especially in environments where performance and pressure can crowd out presence.

When we stop truly listening, we don’t just lose connection—we lose information, initiative, insight. People stop bringing ideas, stop signaling red flags, stop engaging. Not because they don’t care. But because they don’t believe they’re being seen.

We often think listening is passive. But it’s not. Listening is active. Intentional. And often, incredibly difficult. It requires us to quiet our assumptions. To be curious. To hear someone out not just for what they’re saying—but for what they’re trying to express.

It’s a form of respect. A discipline. A choice to stop centering ourselves and start considering others.

Ueland goes on to describe how listening transformed her own way of relating to people:

“Before, when I went to a party I would think anxiously, ‘Now try hard. Be lively. Say bright things. Talk. Don’t let down.’ And when tired, I would have to drink a lot of coffee to keep this up.”

“Now before going to a party I just tell myself to listen with affection to anyone who talks to me. To be in their shoes when they talk, to try to know them without my mind pressing against theirs, or arguing, or changing the subject. Now my attitude is, ‘Tell me more.’”

That last phrase—tell me more—has become a kind of shorthand for genuine interest. Esther Perel, the world-renowned psychotherapist and relationship thinker, often teaches people to use it as a way to keep conversations open, curious, and connective.

But we don’t need to be therapists—or even leaders—to make use of it. We just need to be willing to pause our performance and make room for presence.

Imagine if more of our conversations—at work, at home, in moments of tension or transition—were grounded in the stance of tell me more.

What might unfold? What might come to life?

Chris’s story is a reminder that the people closest to us are often the ones we most easily overlook. Not out of disregard, but out of assumption. We think we know them. And so we stop listening.

But the people in our lives—our colleagues, our employees, our partners, our children—are constantly unfolding. The only way to see them is to listen. Not to the version of them that lives in our heads, but to the version of them that is speaking to us right now.

The practice is simple, but never easy:

Pause your internal commentary.Stay present.Be curious.Let go of needing to fix, validate, or prove.

Just sit with someone. Be in their radius.

And when the moment calls for a response, maybe all that’s needed is this:

Tell me more.

The post Tell Me More: What Listening Reveals About How We See Others appeared first on Arbinger.

Let’s be honest—staying grounded when emotions run high is hard. Someone shows up defensive, and we get prickly. Someone withdraws, and we assume the worst. It’s understandable. But it’s also unhelpful.

In those moments, we often default to an inward mindset—one where we see others primarily in relation to ourselves. Are they helping or hindering me? Do I feel respected or dismissed? Am I winning or losing in this interaction?

Having this mindset doesn’t mean you’re a bad person—just a very limited one. Because when we’re inward, our world shrinks. We respond not to how someone is behaving, but to how we feel about it. We become reactive. And our leadership becomes accidental, not intentional.

The Power of an Outward Mindset

The shift to an outward mindset begins when we start seeing others as people—with hopes, needs, and challenges as real as our own.

It means pausing long enough to consider:

What’s really going on for this person?What might they need right now?How am I contributing to the temperature of this room?

With an outward mindset, we don’t ignore what we feel. But we don’t let it dictate our behavior either. Instead, we use those emotions as indicators of where we are stuck and focus instead on the kind of impact we want to have—right now.

That’s where real leadership begins. Not with position. Not with charisma. But with choice.

Thermostats Lead with Intention

Think of someone you admire as a leader—not for what they did, but for how they showed up. Chances are, they brought a calm center into chaos. They stayed open when others shut down. They invited possibility when the room felt stuck.

In other words, they didn’t just reflect the room—they reset it.

They were thermostats.

And that ability isn’t mystical. It’s mindful. It’s available to any of us who are willing to lead from an outward mindset.

Here’s what that looks like in action:

1. Check in Before We Speak Out

Before we respond, we pause. We notice our inward reaction—defensiveness, blame, frustration—and ask ourselves: Is this reaction going to help or hurt the situation?

That single pause gives us space to choose. And in that space, we begin to lead.

2. Seeing Past Behavior to Humanity

People aren’t always at their best. But neither are we. When someone’s tone is short or their energy feels off, we can choose to interpret that as disrespect—or we can get curious about what might be behind it.

Leaders who chose to have an outward mindset look past the surface and ask, what else might be true here?

3. Setting the Tone, Not Matching It

When we walk into a difficult room—with tension, frustration, or disengagement—we carry something powerful: the ability to shift the atmosphere.

That doesn’t mean “being positive” no matter what. It means being present, grounded, and intentional. We don’t mirror the dysfunction. We model a different way. Because energy is contagious.

Small Choices, Big Consequences

When we understand the implications of mindset we recognize that impact doesn’t wait. The way we show up in a single moment can shape the entire trajectory of a relationship—or a culture.

The words we choose, the tone we use, the posture we hold.

All of it sets a temperature.

And over time, those choices compound.

A hallway check-in leads to a trust-filled conversation. A moment of patience prevents a months-long conflict. A leader who sees a struggling employee as a person—not a problem—helps them rise instead of retreat.

That’s what thermostats do. They steadily create climates where people can breathe, connect, and grow.

This Isn’t About Perfection. It’s About Practice.

None of us gets this right all the time. We’re human. We slip into inwardness. We react. We forget to pause.

But every moment gives us another chance to reset.

To notice the temperature. To choose our impact. To lead from the mindset that sees others as people first. When we do that we’re not just changing the room, we’re changing the way we relate, the way we lead, and ultimately, our cultures.

Interested in learning more about developing and implementing an outward mindset at work? Chat with an expert from our team.

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The world of work is undergoing a seismic shift, and the role of human resources (HR) is at the epicenter of this transformation. As highlighted in Arbinger’s 2025 Workplace Trends Report: Building a People-First Culture, HR is no longer confined to administrative tasks and compliance. Instead, it is emerging as a strategic partner that plays a pivotal part in shaping company culture, driving organizational transformation, and fostering a people-first workplace. 

This blog explores the evolving role of HR, from its traditional functions to its strategic responsibilities, and how HR professionals can rise to meet modern challenges while building a better future for their organizations.

Why is HR important?

The traditional role of HR started out as a champion for workers’ rights, ensuring fair treatment and advocating for employees. As businesses grew more complex, the role expanded to include essential tasks like hiring talent and managing payroll. Over time, though, HR became bogged down with administrative work, and economic challenges pushed the focus further toward cutting costs and managing budgets to help companies stay afloat. This shift pulled HR away from its original mission, leaving many to wonder: What is HR’s impact in today’s workplace?

But the question isn’t whether HR has value; it’s whether organizations are willing to empower HR to reclaim its purpose and lead the charge in creating truly people-first workplaces. In the context of 2025 workplace trends, HR is more than a department—it’s a catalyst for transformation. From shaping culture to influencing executive decisions, HR’s impact is far-reaching. Its strategic involvement is crucial for fostering innovation, driving inclusion, and enhancing employee well-being, making it indispensable in today’s organizations.

How has the role of human resources management changed and evolved?

Human resources is no longer simply an administrative function—it’s experiencing a profound transformation into a strategic leadership role. This evolution reflects broader workplace shifts, as organizations recognize the critical role of HR plays in driving culture, engagement, and business outcomes. Arbinger’s 2025 Workplace Trends Report underscores this shift, revealing that 92% of HR professionals feel they have a strong influence on company-wide strategic decisions.

This change is not just a rebranding but a paradigm shift, as HR repositions itself as a key player in shaping the future of work. The transformation is marked by several notable trends:

Human resources as a culture builder

HR is taking on greater responsibility for shaping and sustaining organizational culture. According to our latest research:

62% of organizations involve HR in employee experience and engagement initiatives44% of HR teams play a critical role in inclusion and employee well-being efforts40% are focused on maintaining compliance, ethics, and sustaining a positive workplace culture

This focus on culture underscores HR’s ability to shape the human experience within organizations, ensuring that every employee feels valued and connected.

The expansion of HR’s strategic reach

The role of HR now goes beyond day-to-day tasks. It encompasses learning and development (with 50% of organizations relying on HR for upskilling programs) and aligns closely with business objectives such as future workforce strategy and the integration of AI and technology.

HR’s new role of “CEO whisperer”

HR’s influence has grown to include direct collaboration with executive teams, earning it a reputation as a “CEO whisperer.” By aligning leadership decisions with employee needs, HR helps drive innovation, improve productivity, and foster accountability across the organization.

This transformation places the role of HR at the forefront of creating people-first cultures, ultimately helping to bring more humanity to the workplace. No longer reactive or compliance-focused, HR is evolving into a proactive, strategic force that ensures businesses thrive by prioritizing their most important asset: their people.

Challenges for human resource leaders today

As HR steps into its role as a strategic partner, it faces several pressing challenges that require innovation and resilience. These challenges not only test HR professionals but also highlight the critical importance of their role in driving organizational success.

Navigating cultural transformation

Creating and sustaining a strong company culture is a complex task. According to our survey data, 28% of professionals see HR as a primary driver of culture initiatives, second only to executive leadership. HR must foster environments where diverse perspectives thrive while ensuring alignment with organizational values—a delicate but essential balance.

Addressing the disconnect between leaders and employees

The “disconnect effect,” highlighted in our 2025 Workplace Trends Report, reveals gaps in understanding between leadership and employees. HR professionals often act as bridges, facilitating better communication and collaboration to align expectations and drive engagement.

Enhancing employee engagement and well-being

With 62% of HR teams heavily involved in engagement initiatives and 44% focused on well-being programs, it’s clear that supporting employees is a top priority. However, hybrid work models, burnout, and shifting employee expectations present ongoing challenges that demand creative and proactive solutions.

Leveraging data and technology

While 93% of HR professionals recognize the importance of leveraging data, not all are equipped to do so effectively. The need for data-driven decision-making and the adoption of AI-powered tools is growing, requiring HR professionals to upskill and adapt to new technologies.

Balancing inclusion and business goals

Inclusion is no longer a standalone initiative but an integral part of organizational culture. Over 37% of HR professionals want to play a larger role in inclusion efforts, signaling a need for comprehensive strategies that embed diversity, equity, and inclusion into every aspect of the workplace.

How to empower HR professionals in 2025

To unlock its full potential, HR must continue evolving, and both HR professionals and organizations have a role to play in embracing this transformation. At its core, this evolution aligns directly with Arbinger’s mission of bringing humanity to the workplace—a mission that champions seeing people as individuals and fostering connections that drive mutual success.

For HR professionals:

HR has the unique opportunity to lead with impact, shaping the culture and strategies that define organizational success. To do so, HR professionals can:

Collaborate with leadership: Align people strategies with broader business objectives, ensuring HR has a voice at the table.Leverage data for impact: Use analytics to inform decision-making and measure the success of HR programs.Adopt an outward mindset : Embrace practices that focus on seeing and valuing others, understanding their challenges, and creating environments of mutual accountability and collaboration.

For organizations:

Organizations play a pivotal role in empowering HR to thrive as a strategic partner. To support this evolution, businesses must:

Invest in resources: Provide HR with the tools and technologies needed to drive innovation and efficiency.Prioritize inclusion in strategy: Involve HR in key decision-making processes to ensure a people-first perspective is integrated into business strategies.Foster connection and well-being: Build a workplace culture rooted in Arbinger’s principles of inclusion, empathy, and shared success.Bringing humanity back to the workplace

The evolving role of HR reflects Arbinger’s mission of transforming workplaces into environments where humanity and productivity flourish. By moving beyond administrative tasks and embracing strategic leadership, HR can create people-first organizations where employees feel valued, connected, and empowered to contribute their best.

This is not just an organizational imperative; it’s a call to action for every HR professional and business leader who believes in the power of connection, culture, and shared accountability to drive meaningful change. Together, HR and organizations can bring more humanity to the workplace and ensure businesses thrive in today’s complex world.

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Many organizations are turning to AI to streamline operations in the workplace, but what if its greatest potential lies in making workplaces more human?

Our 2025 trends report uncovered a compelling truth: companies that effectively integrate AI into their workflows gain more time to focus on what truly matters—building and improving relationships at work. Imagine a workplace where technology not only automates mundane tasks but also empowers people to connect, collaborate, and thrive. This isn’t just an ideal; it’s a necessity for creating a people-first culture.

When employees feel seen, supported, and valued, productivity and innovation soar. AI in the workplace, when used thoughtfully, can help foster this type of environment by enabling organizations to focus less on repetitive tasks and more on meaningful human interactions. Let’s explore how AI can strengthen workplace relationships, enhance collaboration, and boost overall productivity—all while keeping people at the core.

How is AI transforming the workplace?

AI is transforming workplaces across industries by automating repetitive tasks, analyzing data for insights, and enhancing decision-making processes. These innovations bring multiple benefits, including streamlined operations, better resource allocation, and the ability to focus on more strategic initiatives. However, the true promise of AI lies in its ability to enable employees to engage in tasks that highlight creativity, emotional intelligence, and human connection.

Key findings from our 2025 workplace trends report reveal:

73% of professionals agree AI will free up time to focus on human connection at work within the next two years.90% of executives feel optimistic about AI’s ability to foster better workplace relationships.

The findings also reveal a “disconnect effect“: Executives and senior leaders feel more optimistic about AI’s ability to foster human connection than those in less senior roles. While 90% of executives believe AI will help free up time for human connection, this drops to 76% for managers and just 32% for non-supervisory employees. The disparity suggests that senior employees, who are often experienced in delegating tasks and managing workloads, are more confident in leveraging AI for better outcomes.

To address concerns about AI replacing jobs, organizations should focus on training and developing staff to handle tasks that require a human touch. Instead of replacing people, AI should automate routine work to allow employees to take on more complex and personalized responsibilities. By aligning technology with a people-centered approach, companies can empower their workforce and build a more connected workplace culture.

How AI enhances workplace efficiency and human connection

One of the most significant ways AI reshapes workplaces is by improving efficiency while simultaneously enhancing workplace relationships. This dual impact is achieved through:

Automating administrative tasks: Tasks such as scheduling, data entry, and report generation can now be completed in seconds, freeing employees to focus on meaningful work.Predictive analytics: AI helps identify patterns and trends, enabling leaders to make proactive and data-driven decisions.Feedback analysis: AI streamlines the process of analyzing employee feedback, helping organizations improve workplace culture and address concerns more effectively.

Organizations leveraging AI for these purposes report higher productivity and job satisfaction. For example, 44% of professionals using AI for administrative tasks strongly agree their organizations take adequate steps to address employee well-being, compared to only 26% of those not using AI.

Overall, AI’s most common workplace applications include:

Predictive analytics (35%)Automating administrative tasks (33%)Feedback analysis (31%)Responding to inquiries (30%)

While about one in five professionals report not applying AI in the workplace for any of these purposes, this gap highlights an opportunity for organizations to embrace this technology strategically. By focusing on aligning AI with a people-centered approach, companies can foster stronger collaboration and inclusivity while driving efficiency.

Realizing the benefits of AI in the workplace

AI’s potential goes beyond efficiency; it’s also a driver of stronger workplace relationships and cultural transformation. Among the most impactful benefits are:

Improved collaboration:

By streamlining communication and task management in the workplace, AI fosters stronger teamwork and mutual understanding. Teams can use AI tools to schedule meetings, assign tasks, and track progress without manual effort.

Better decision-making:

Leaders can use AI in the workplace to access actionable insights, enabling them to make more thoughtful and impactful decisions. For instance, AI-powered dashboards provide real-time data on project statuses, employee engagement, and customer feedback.

Work-life balance:

Automation reduces workloads, giving employees more time to focus on tasks that matter most—both at work and at home. This balance contributes to overall job satisfaction and employee well-being.

By adopting a strategic and human-focused approach to AI implementation, organizations can realize these benefits while addressing potential concerns. Regular training programs and open dialogues about AI can help employees embrace its transformative power.

The best way to introduce AI into your workplace

Technology, including AI, should always be designed and implemented to serve a people-first mission. AI in HR is a prime example of how organizations can use technology to empower employees rather than replace them. By automating routine administrative tasks, HR professionals can focus on fostering meaningful workplace connections and creating an environment where employees thrive.

Our research found that 40% of HR professionals currently use AI for tasks like workforce planning and feedback analysis, demonstrating its ability to streamline operations. However, one of AI’s greatest strengths is its capacity to free up time for human connection and collaboration—a cornerstone of Arbinger’s mission.

For employees who may feel hesitant or resistant to adopting AI, tools like Arbinger’s Start in the Right Way can help challenge assumptions and foster a positive mindset. This resource encourages employees to see AI as a supportive partner rather than a disruptive force, aligning their attitudes with the organization’s broader mission.

AI in HR allows for:

Personalized career development: AI insights help HR teams design growth opportunities tailored to each employee’s strengths and aspirations.Enhanced inclusivity: By mitigating unconscious bias, AI ensures equitable hiring and evaluation processes.Streamlined self-service: Employees can quickly access HR resources, improving their overall experience and satisfaction.

By embracing AI as a tool for empowerment, organizations can build trust and create a workplace where employees feel valued and supported. This approach not only aligns with Arbinger’s values but also ensures a thriving and connected workforce.

More AI, more humanity: The future of work

Our report underscores the potential of AI to humanize the workplace. By automating routine tasks and supporting strategic initiatives, AI enables employees to engage in work that builds connections and drives innovation. However, the key lies in adopting AI with a clear focus on empowering people.

A workplace culture thrives when technology is used to enhance and elevate human potential, not replace it. This means aligning AI with Arbinger’s mission of bringing humanity to the workplace, transforming organizations into environments where people can thrive together. By adopting AI as a tool for connection and collaboration, organizations can take a meaningful step toward building more inclusive, productive, and people-centered workplaces.

To fully harness AI’s potential in the workplace, consider:

Investing in continuous training programs to ensure you have a strong foundation for introducing new tools.Creating open communication channels for discussing AI’s role and addressing concerns.Developing strategies to integrate AI with a people-first mindset, ensuring technology supports—rather than replaces—human interactions.

Take action today:

Download Arbinger’s 2025 Workplace Trends Report: Building a People-First Culture to explore more insights on how AI can foster a people-first culture in the workplace.

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A growing disconnect between leadership’s strategic vision and employees’ daily experiences is harming morale, retention, and productivity. As organizations increasingly prioritize employee experience management, bridging this gap has become essential for fostering a people-first culture. 

In this blog, we’ll explore what employee experience truly means, the key areas where the disconnect between executives and employees occurs, and actionable strategies to align leadership vision with employee needs.

The disconnect effect: Why it matters

The disconnect effect occurs when executives and employees view workplace priorities differently, leading to misaligned strategies and reduced engagement. For example, executives often emphasize long-term goals like skill development (cited as a priority by 45%), while employees focus on immediate concerns such as morale and engagement (41%).

We first uncovered this disconnect between leaders and employees in our 2024 Workplace Trends Report, and the gap has yet again proved to be a top challenge in workplaces globally.  

This gap isn’t just a philosophical difference—it has real consequences. When employees feel disconnected from leadership’s vision, it negatively impacts retention, productivity, and innovation. In fact, only 24% of organizations report high levels of job satisfaction, yet companies with satisfied employees are nearly 7x more likely to see revenue growth.

Improving alignment requires a robust employee experience strategy that addresses leadership goals and considers employees’ daily experiences and expectations.

Key areas of disconnect and how to address them

One of the biggest challenges in employee experience management is the disconnect between executive vision and the realities employees face daily. This often results in misaligned priorities, reduced engagement, and weakened morale, directly impacting retention and productivity. 

To address this, leaders need an employee experience strategy that not only aligns their goals with employees’ needs but also fosters trust, collaboration, and purpose. By focusing on specific areas—such as morale, recognition, wellness, and technology—organizations can build an employee experience framework that bridges gaps and creates a more unified workplace. 

In this section, we’ll explore these key areas and provide actionable insights on how to improve employee experience.

1. Morale vs. skill development

Effective leadership balances long-term strategic goals with employees’ immediate needs. While professional development and upskilling are critical for driving innovation and competitiveness, they must be supported by a workplace culture that values morale and engagement. Without a focus on day-to-day employee satisfaction, organizations risk burnout, disengagement, and turnover, undermining their broader objectives.

The disconnect: Executives prioritize professional skill-building as a long-term growth strategy, while employees see low morale and disengagement as more urgent challenges.

How to improve employee experience: Combine professional development programs with morale-boosting initiatives like recognition programs and well-being support. An effective employee experience model integrates both short- and long-term needs, fostering satisfaction while building skills for the future.

Here’s why: Organizations that prioritize morale see stronger retention and improved engagement, laying the groundwork for sustainable growth.

2. Employee input and recognition

Employees want to feel their voices matter. Recognition and meaningful feedback are key drivers of engagement, yet many organizations fail to create systems that amplify employee input. When employees perceive their ideas and contributions as overlooked, it can lead to frustration, diminished motivation, and a disconnect from leadership’s vision.

The disconnect: While 63% of executives believe employee input is valued, only 10% of non-supervisory employees feel heard.

How to improve employee experience: Create feedback loops using tools like employee experience surveys or impact check-ins to gather input and act on it. Regularly communicating how leadership decisions reflect employee feedback can close this gap.

Best practice: Encourage employees to share ideas and celebrate contributions, using recognition as a core part of your employee experience framework.

3. Wellness and mental health

A workplace that prioritizes wellness and mental health fosters trust, resilience, and long-term engagement. Employees thrive when they feel supported not only in their professional roles but also in their personal well-being. However, a gap often exists between leadership’s perception of wellness initiatives and employees’ actual experiences of these efforts.

The disconnect: 95% of executives feel their organization adequately addresses wellness, but only 66% of non-supervisory employees agree.

How to improve employee experience: Make mental health resources and wellness programs visible and accessible across all levels of the organization. Equitable support builds trust and reduces turnover.

Here’s why: Investing in your employees’ wellbeing pays off in more ways than one. Workplace mental health initiatives yield a 4x return on investment. 

4. AI and human connection

Technology, particularly AI, has the potential to revolutionize the workplace by automating routine tasks and freeing employees to focus on high-value, human-centered work. However, its implementation must align with fostering connection and collaboration, not eroding them. 

Employees often fear that AI could depersonalize work or threaten job security, creating tension in adopting new technologies.

The disconnect: While 90% of executives believe AI will free up time for human connection, only 32% of employees share this optimism.

How to improve employee experience: Use AI to handle routine tasks, freeing employees to focus on meaningful, human-centered work. Communicate transparently about AI’s role in alleviating fears about job security.

Digging deeper: When integrated thoughtfully, AI supports employee experience management by reducing administrative burdens and fostering deeper collaboration.

Inclusive leadership: A critical solution for employee experience management

Leaders who adopt inclusive practices can help bridge the disconnect and foster alignment. Inclusive leadership means recognizing diverse perspectives, encouraging reflection on how individual roles impact organizational goals, and creating an environment where everyone feels valued.

Unfortunately, only 33% of employees report being regularly encouraged to consider how their work impacts their team or company. Building this connection is essential for improving accountability and collaboration. By using an employee experience framework focused on inclusion, leaders can create an environment where employees feel a sense of purpose and belonging.

Tip: Arbinger’s Job Map tool empowers employees to contextualize their work in terms of the people they impact and the areas of responsibility that make up their job. By enabling employees with this tool, leaders can help bridge the disconnect between an employee’s responsibilities and their impact on the organization.

Building a people-first culture with executive vision

Aligning executive vision with employee experience requires deliberate effort and consistent communication. Here are actionable steps for leaders:

Regular engagement: Move beyond annual reviews. Discuss collaboration, personal development, and well-being on an ongoing basis to create a deeper connection with employees.Invest in leadership development : Equip leaders with the tools to listen, empathize, and foster accountability, using an employee experience model that prioritizes human connection.Measuring employee experience: Use metrics from employee experience surveys and insights from impact conversations to identify gaps, track progress, and refine your strategies over time.

Companies with a strong employee experience strategy—focused on trust, empathy, and accountability—report higher retention, stronger innovation, and greater revenue growth.

Closing the gap between executive vision and employee experience

The disconnect between executive vision and employee experience isn’t unconquerable. By prioritizing employee experience management, organizations can create a culture where employees feel heard, valued, and aligned with leadership’s goals.

A comprehensive employee experience framework not only improves morale, but also strengthens the connection between daily tasks and the broader organizational mission. When leadership and employees are on the same page, the result is a thriving, innovative, and resilient workplace.

The disconnect effect and its underlying insights were brought to light in Arbinger’s 2025 Workplace Trends Report. Get your free copy here .

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