A couple of months ago there was a tweet inviting retweets should the female reader have walked through a dark area with keys in hand or pretending to be on the phone. I have. I retweeted. A couple of days ago, a male follower replied to the retweet stating that he had also done so, and that women had no exclusive right to insecurity in public.

That answer made me angry.

Women do not have an exclusive right to insecurity in public. But they sure as hell have a much better reason for it.

A straw poll – which is anecdote, not data, agreed – revealed that every single woman I knew had been harassed or assaulted. Every. Single. One. Not a reaction to a wolf-whistle, either. Touching. Groping. Have sex with me or I’ll stall your career. Rape. These are actions from men they know and men they don’t know.

I was groped by a total stranger on public transport. Now, I’d raise the roof. Then… I moved seat, and didn’t say a word. It was broad daylight. I’m sad to say, it’s common.

So don’t give me “women don’t have exclusive rights to insecurity”. Don’t tell me “men are scared too”. When men are harassed at the same rate as women, when men are told that it’s their fault for, oh, let’s see: dressing nicely, not crossing the street, being out when it’s dark (you know, between say 4.30pm and 8am in the winter – just explain to me how that works, please?), taking public transport because what can you expect if – shock horror – you go out as a woman on your own?

The hell with that. When that happens to men too, to the same extent, then I’ll accept the patronising comment that – effectively – it’s not just women. When men are raped at the same rate as women, I’ll call it insecurity – a word which demeans every assault women suffer, a word which minimises our experiences.

But notice that women still go out. Women still participate in the world. Women go about their business even though they may be scared or nervous or insecure in public, even though they have most likely been assaulted or worse for the apparent crime of being female in public.

Because women are brave. Women know they have the right to be out in the open and, every minute of every day, in every place, women go out, despite their experiences. We don’t take precautions because we are insecure. We take them because they are necessary.

But, precautions taken, we go out, loudly and proudly, and go about our business. #MeToo unites us. #Courage binds us. And no-one will stop us.

So don’t demean us by calling it insecurity. Call out those who make our actions necessary.

Death in Focus: Passion and photography meet a multimillion dollar cover-up and murder.