This is a repost from my Tumblr. I made a post to get out a lot of my thoughts and feelings about the troubles with my publisher, and someone suggested I share it with a slightly wider audience so that other authors could know. This was mostly about me trying to collect my thoughts after almost a year of stress. I am not really interested in debating the merits of staying or leaving. Nor do I need people excusing or defending some of the people who were behaving badly. This is about my feelings and my choices. Thank you.

Also, putting it behind a cut because I went on for a while. Well, if the cut works.

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A thing about me to begin with:
I have no idea where I am as a writer, sales-wise. Am I midlist? Sort of popular with a certain small crowd? Sometimes capable of hitting number one on Amazon but usually for short silly stories that cost 99 cents and never for anything more serious? I honestly have no idea where I stand, but I just want to say that because I am mostly okay with it. It took me a long time to get even this far. I am still learning, and I have no delusions of grandeur (though some very cheesy self-indulgent fantasies of someday seeing TV series of my crap.) Occasionally, I get sad over not being more known or popular or whatever, but also, I couldn’t handle the attention. So, I’m not expecting much of a reaction to this or needing one. I just want to clear these thoughts out of my head. That’s all. I want the poison out so I can write again.

Another reminder: I am not a lawyer or anything close to it. This is based on my experience as well as statements from DSP and other writers. Mostly, I have a lot of questions.

Anyway. Onto it.

Dreamspinner Press.

I submitted something to them in a random, desperate effort to live my nerd dream and be published, and to my surprise, they accepted it. Published it even! I still have good thoughts about that. They took the beings and continued to accept the beings even when they went from fluffy fairies banging hot werewolves into sad crying fairies with severe emotional problems. One of the people who worked there was always very nice to me, and one of my editors I really liked.

However.

I began to consider a plan to slowly pull my stuff from DSP in 2018, about halfway through the year, when my payments were late. I emailed them, always politely, always wondering if maybe I had given the wrong information or something, and I was given some reasons for it. I think something about reports “spooling” one time. However, the payments were only part of why I wanted to leave.

I had always had a few niggling concerns: my first stories with them were proofread, but I wouldn’t say edited like I had expected a publisher to do, they dropped me into their author group on Yahoo where they expected authors to talk amongst themselves to figure out things about the publishing world but there was never any sort of detailed explanation of what to expect or even suggestions as to what a starting author might do for promotion. Things I thought publishers were supposed to do for authors—but then I just assumed that was how either small pubs and/or e-publishing and/or the romance world were.

The concerns got slightly more than niggling as I went on, but I was a half-assed ‘professional’ at best in the beginning (it never occurred to me that I might sell enough to make writing more of a career), so I didn’t press any issues.
That changed as time went on. I would ask questions about policies and get vague answers. I would sign up for “promotion opportunities” and get sent on blog tours of romance blogs that… did not suit my style of story at all and, in particular, did not suit the stories I was trying to promote then. I would not be given specific release dates very far in advance, meaning if I wanted to plan promotion, it would be harder for me. I would occasionally get notes from some editors that were ignorant (“is this character trans or bi?”) or biphobic (“is the scene with –the female character-- necessary? It’s so graphic.” Even though no onscreen sex had happened with her but plenty had happened with male characters) etc. I also started to wonder what sort of publisher has sales and deals so often (questionable) but also doesn’t inform their authors well in advance so, again, their authors could promote the sales and increase their business, a win/win for both parties? My books would be translated into other languages and I would only find out the book had been released when a fan or friend would tell me. (Which, in addition to being just fucking weird, again makes promotion difficult. I sort of wondered if DSP even wanted their authors to sell more books.) Also, the copies of the translated books were only sent to me in one instance without me asking about it, even though it’s in my contracts that I would receive a copy. Every other time, I either had to ask or just bought a copy for myself at full price.

The issue of foreign language rights came up again. I was going through my contracts for some other reason and noticed that though one of my stories had been translated and sold as a paperback, I had never signed anything relating to translation rights for that title. And when I politely emailed them to let them know, assuming they would immediately send me an amended contract to sign, I was essentially told not to worry about it.

I could never decide if that was pure arrogance or incompetence. But I had Real Life Crap happening at the time, and couldn’t deal with legal stuff and so just held onto my original contract and waited to see what was going to happen next.

Which was about when I started to get nervous about some other things, and then mad. The trips the staff would take several times a year to “promote” our books at book fairs that I never noticed any real bump from. The conventions for DSP authors to… do whatever it is these authors were supposedly paying to learn from their publisher, which still seems weird to me because a publisher should want ALL of its authors to learn and grow and do better, since that benefits everyone. But no, only the paying authors got extra coaching or advice or whatever happened at these retreats. (This is not only suspect af to me, with a weird vibe, but is also just a bad business practice).

And then the payments started to get later. And then later.

Sweet Clematis came out, a fact that I was informed of only about a month or so before it to be released. (It was also being released in the middle of December—not ideal for last minute promotion for obvious reasons. Especially for something not remotely about Christmas.) I tried to be calm about that one until I later accidentally learned that some of the bigger name authors know their exact release date months in advance.

Now, I am not a big name author. I don’t expect to be. But it did strike me that instead of nurturing new or developing talents, DSP seemed more focused on existing names. I understand the need to keep the golden geese happy, but it does seem shortsighted for a business about building brands to ignore possible new ones. And again, I wasn’t expecting much. At bare minimum, it would have been helpful to be given some sort of idea about release dates or sales for promotion purposes.

But I don’t think there was that much planning involved. Now, of course, if I trace it all back, I suspect I could figure out when the money started to disappear. Or, at least, when it could no longer be hidden. And it would be when the payments were first late and my book release dates got less and less specific. As if money was needed in a hurry that quarter, so why not release a book now instead of later? But that is just a suspicion at this point.

In any event, by the end of 2018, payments continued to be late. So late, in fact, that I no longer felt confident that I would be paid at all, and I put off writing the next beings book to work on other things that I would actually be paid for. A girl needs to eat.

I was contractually obligated to submit beings books to DSP first, and I admit, part of me wondered if they were going to bankrupt and if I could get my rights back if that happened, to save me having to beg for the rights back since most of them weren’t due to expire for years.

I did not submit anything to them in 2019 but rights reversion requests. To their credit, the first one was answered promptly and without problems, but—payments continued to be late. Then this current mess, which many others have detailed. Payments stopped. Not just to authors but allegedly also to translators, editors, and artists. A lot of different reasons for this were given, none of them consistent. Some authors and artists seemed to still be getting paid. Big name authors were either appeased or satisfied, but not all of the big name authors, which felt even more random. Some of us got paid a percentage of what we were owed. Some got nothing. No one seems to know how the piecemeal payments were decided.

Payments that were promised were to come out of future earnings. I italicize that because I cannot emphasize that enough. Quarter 1 payments (of just this year. I am not going to do the math for last year yet) were apparently “paid” from Quarter 2’s earnings. (Which, btw, still did not cover every single owed payment). Quarter 2’s earnings were “paid” from Quarter 3’s and so on and so on. Which again, still did not cover every single owed payment.

If you think about that for a second, you will see how not sustainable that is.

(It’s also bullshit. But I think everyone knows that, even the people pretending they don’t.)

Meanwhile, there did not seem to be, at least from the outside, any reduction in DSP’s normal spending on conventions, trips, etc. In fact, there seemed to be an increase in spending on new book lines and graphic novels, as well as the Mass Market Paperback venture.

As I said before, the non-payments/late payments were blamed on a lot of things. One of those things was the investment in Mass Market Paperbacks that did not go well. Now, I could talk about what the hell sort of business plan was that, but I won’t. What I will say, is that a publisher is supposed to invest and reinvest in their business using their actual profits. Their profits. Meaning anything left over after their costs and bills. Their profits do not include authors’ royalties. A publisher is supposed to keep author earnings in an account that is not to be touched for any reason. It is money owed their authors. Taking money from this fund, in addition to being morally wrong, is just a foolish business move to, among other things, sully the name and reputation of your business and open yourself up to lawsuits. It also might be criminal. (Ask a lawyer. At this point at least, am relying on the RWA legal people.)

Lots of authors who are supportive of DSP point out that the money was taken for investments in the business. They will talk a lot about growth or taking chances or whatever. They will also talk a lot about family. I don’t know what kind of fucked up families they have, but this is a business, not a family. Businesses need to be run like businesses. Not families, not cliques, not clubs.

The fact is, no author I know of agreed to put their money up for these investments. The fact is, that money was not supposed to be touched. The fact is, there are authors right now who have unpaid bills and no access to their medications because of these ‘investments.’

Do you know what they would call it in a movie if a character took money from someone else without telling them, to “invest” it in something, whether or not the investment paid off? Do you know what they would call it if anyone took money from someone else for any reason without telling them? I do.

A theory has been floated about that someone (a mystery person? The staff member who left?) embezzled the missing money, or perhaps messed things up so badly DSP is still recovering. But if so, why not just say so? That is an explanation that those waiting to be paid might have understood. It’s likely not true, but if it was, it seems like arrogance or ego not to talk about it while trying to move forward. In any case, it doesn’t explain the plan to continue on in this way.

DSP, meanwhile, has released a confusing mix of messages. Strong and clear communication has never been their strong suit, but the statements now are a combination of placation and platitudes, odd math, promises that are broken, defeated short posts, and expressions of faith in the future of the business. That last one confuses me the most.

Maybe it’s because I never felt close to the main clique/staff members, but I can’t read their intentions here. Do they truly believe the business can be saved? Obviously, I haven’t seen their financial records, but I don’t see how that is possible. Even if they scrape up the money to keep going, or get a business loan, if the authors/artists/translators/editors who are owed sue them for everything plus damages? They don’t have the funds to pay out. Also, over a hundred authors have left or have removed some of their stories from DSP’s catalog, including some bigger names.
Are they stalling to collect what money they can before they disappear into the night (A theory I’ve heard a few times now)? Was the m/m romance thing just something they thought they could do to earn money to become a more “serious” publisher? Were the other imprints a grab for legitimacy, or more money, or were they intended to be sincere and well-run lines for more literary books but no one at DSP has the skills?

A question I have often asked myself about Dreamspinner: are they benignly incompetent or maliciously incompetent? (Though, after a certain point, the incompetence becomes malicious, regardless of intention.)

It’s interesting to me that so many defend them. I get it, to a degree. They were the first place to publish me. They let me write and publish a weird little novella about gay steampunk spies. (I say “let me” because I think that was my attitude at the time and it seems to be a common one. I am not sure if that is a struggling writer thing, a queer thing, or both.) They are also one of the few companies publishing gay romance stuff.

Sidenote: They do m/m stuff only, with occasional m/m/m under their romance line. Not LBGTQA, as I have learned to deal with. They want gay romance, but not necessarily queer romance. I’m making that clear here also because some writers were using this to defend them.

The writers sticking with DSP because they feel they have no choice are another matter and I feel bad for them. But the writers insisting all is well, or attacking anyone who speaks up about this—I can’t tell their intentions, either. But then, I don’t have to. They’ve made their choices, whatever their reasons, and have to live with them. This experience has been strange and difficult and stressful but, wow, was I not expecting so many writers to show their asses. (And, btw, if you attack me over speaking up, I will just block you. -insert shrug emoji here-)

This whole thing has been a nightmare, to be honest. Even though I sort of expected it after last year, I was still surprised by the level of nonsense on display. I’ve seen some disgruntled former authors compare DSP to a cult, or a mean girls clique. I’ve seen others talk repeatedly about having DSP ignore them and their questions even before all this. There are authors who I thought would take a stand who have done nothing, and others ending friendships at the mere suggestion that the authors who have not been paid have anything to complain about. I’ve seen so, so many writers give up because they can’t afford to self-publish and they aren’t getting paid, so they are cutting their loses.

My books are out of DSP, except for some nonsense over the translations and audiobooks, which I might deal with or I might just wait and watch for a collapse. I’ve got a lot of anger about my money, that I need, possibly going to either line the pocket of a big name writer to appease them or sitting in the bank account of a DSP staffer. And that anger is after realizing that I will probably be okay. There are a lot who won’t be. (And, as a side note, the help and advice these struggling former DSP authors are giving each other right now in the private group they have formed is clearly more than some of them ever got from DSP. And those are authors who have been with DSP for years.)

Maybe the Mass Market thing did pay off. I have a statement for the last quarter, a quarter in which I released no new works (and hadn’t since Sweet Clematis came out in 2018), and in which I somehow made more than I ever made with DSP in a single quarter ever. This is either very, very late payments coming in at last, a combination of Quarter 1 and Quarter 2’s earnings that I am still owed listed together, or some suspect math.

(Is this the push to Target and Wal-mart ebook sales that just happened and which no authors were informed of until afterward even though we could have promoted that? Is this all the payments from vendors that were supposedly late? If the vendor payments were this late, why wouldn’t DSP just pay us the rest of the money we were owed for each quarter at the time? If vendors aren’t paying them, exactly what sort of contracts were DSP negotiating for us and then not enforcing?)

In addition to all of that, I have to wonder—is all this attention forcing DSP to do their accounting correctly, and is this what I/we should have been getting paid this whole time?
I doubt I will ever know. Or see the full amount of that money. I am already a tense, anxious person so I try not to think about it too much because I’m going through enough as it is.

I’m not going to put receipts on this. DSP authors get the same statements I do. They’ve read them. They can also do math. Most of this can be Googled.

I’m stressed from a year of scrambling to make up the money I have not been paid. I’m stressed from wondering if I would even get my rights back, and taking what little money I do have and putting it back into re-releasing my books so I can have a backlist again. I’m sad because having a publisher is supposed to be the dream, and now I don’t think I would ever fully trust one. I’m exhausted and yet I need to write new stuff while doing this so I can keep going. None of this is my fault. None of this is anyone else’s fault but Dreamspinner’s, no matter how or why it happened.

I could go on with a list of things I have put off doing this year because of money (car repairs, trip to the dentist, new glasses, doctor’s visits, family visits, new tires, to name a few) but other people have it way worse and anyway, thinking about it doesn’t get me anywhere.

I’ll most likely be okay, in my little midlist or wherever spot. But a lot of people aren’t. And I don’t get why more people aren’t talking about it.

Edited to add: I wrote this to get a lot of these thoughts out of my head, and was sort of debating posting it, but then today I learned that though DSP was supposed to request the removal of my books from the French publisher they work with since the rights were expired and I requested it (and also one of the stories they never had the foreign language rights to, as I said above), they did not. I was told by DSP it may take up to 90 days for the French publisher to respond to the request, which I accepted and assumed DSP had made the request, but the French publisher informed me no request had been made.

It’s noon and I need a drink.


Anyway, I hope to get back to writing new stuff soon, as I work on getting the rest of my backlist out.