Free Spirited; How My Daughter Healed Me from the Afterlife, the memoir I spent the last eight years writing, is finally, blessedly here. It contains a tiny capsule of the vast, healing magic that I experienced after Teal’s death. Cosmic adventures, one after another, showed up in a way that now seems truly incredible. And yet…all of it is true. 

I learned how very thin the veil is, and how incredible our access is to the vast, light-filled, yet  unknowable Other Side. Here is a taste from the middle of the book to show you what I mean. This scene happened about a year and a half after Teal’s death in 2012.

I walked up the stairs of feeling elated. It was close to 10 PM and I had just successfully booked travel for something I’d dreamed of doing for at least thirty years: spending two months in Paris.

Things felt right in my heart—even though I had no idea where I would stay in Paris, nor did I know how it would be to work there. Would I feel comfortable and grounded enough to write?

And did it even matter if I did? It had been nearly a year since I’d actually earned a living.

My mother would have wanted me to do this, I reasoned, for Paris was a place we’d traveled to once when I was younger. It was a place we’d both loved. In her will, she’d left me just enough money to go, if I spent it very carefully.

My soul was singing and happy as I settled under the covers. As it happened, I was back in Teal’s old childhood bedroom, where I’d joined my son Luke and former husband Larry on the first anniversary of her death.

I opened up Facebook for an end-of-day scan and saw a message from Kate, a fellow writer whom I’d recently heard about from a friend. Kate said she’d just had an unexpected seizure while visiting friends who lived on a street called Teal Lane. She was hoping we could talk.

Naturally I was interested. I clicked on Kate’s page and began to read her post about the benign brain tumor that had caused her seizure. Suddenly a message box popped up, and I saw that Kate was messaging me.

Can you talk now? she asked.

Within a few moments we were on the phone. An otherworldly calm descended the moment our conversation began.

As Kate told me about her seizure, something shifted for me. My listening became soft and gentle, and I melted into the phone. Spirit, or perhaps TEFKAT (‘The Energy Formerly Known as Teal’ as she now referred to herself)  had overtaken me.

“It all began with the death of my spiritual mentor,” Kate began. She talked of listening to this mentor in a dream just as her seizure began. Her mentor said to her: “The veil to the other side is thinner than you think.”

Involuntarily, the TEFKAT laughter I’d been experiencing rippled through my body as she said this. Light, angelic, surreal. It laughed again as Kate described the intense, yet fully awake experience of her seizure.

At that moment, a shroud of fast, high energy whooshed through me, a tingling bed of flames that began in my heart and spread through my body. I surrendered just a bit more to the feeling.

Now I began to talk in a radically softened voice that flowed through me. It didn’t seem to be me that was speaking, but some other energy that had borrowed my mouth.

“You and I are receptors, Kate,” I heard myself say. “We have been brought together to inspire each other.”

In that instant, I could see everything. The reason for Teal’s death. The purpose of the path I was on. Even why I needed to go to Paris. Both Kate and I were being prepared for expansion beyond our wildest dreams.

And we were being brought together now in some kind of shared reckoning.

I felt completely connected to Kate. Our souls were touching as deeply as if we had fallen in love, or given birth to one another, or witnessed each other’s deaths.

And yet there was a lightness, here, too—a detachment. So, if Kate and I never spoke again that would be fine, too. Understanding flooded my body and I could see the tender link between being Teal’s mother and mothering the planet in just the way I am meant to do.

Suddenly, in this conversation with a relative stranger, I understood that for the remainder of my life I would travel to and fro between worlds, like a mystic. Like a shaman.

Like a receptor.

In biochemistry, this is the molecule that convey signals within a cell from the exterior—the other side, so to speak. Now I understood why Teal looked at me the way she did that last night in the restaurant, the night of her collapse, as we listened to a speaker explain how shamans traveled between two worlds.

Her eyes were so full of wonder then, lit with an understanding I couldn’t grasp. Her expression said, Pay attention, Mom. You’ll be needing this. And now her message was clear.

That night at dinner, Teal was already on her path to the other side, and she was inviting me to come along. To be a shaman…her shaman. To bring forth divine energy, as well as her energy, just as it was needed.

Now it all made perfect sense.

Moments later, I hung up, awash with gratitude and forever changed.

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