It’s hard to believe it’s that time again!

The end of 2023 and the time of year when I reflect on the year that was, mentally and emotionally prepare for the year to come, and absolve myself from a selection of ‘must dos’.

My theory is this: life is simply too short to get swept up in ‘must dos’, so why waste precious time torturing myself?

I started writing New Year’s Absolutions in 2011 when I absolved myself from losing a few pounds, buying a bike (I lived in Seattle at the time which is wet and hilly), reading Oprah Book Club selections (still stand by that one), checking work emails at home (of course, we all pretty much work from home now), and finishing a re-write of Chapter 7 of a book that will never see the light of day.

All good absolutions and now onto 2024’s …

Colouring my hair

Those who have been following me through 2023 will have noticed that I am no longer dark (honey) blonde. I am embracing my natural salt and pepper hair and by ’embracing’ I mean: I stopped colouring my hair in May and in September I spent 7 hours (and a LOT of $$$) at the hair salon to make me look like this:

I thought I would wait till my 60s, but the upkeep of being brunette, then light brown, then dark blonde (I’ve been going lighter over the past 5 years) was expensive and exhausting. Like many of my contemporaries, I’m jumping on the silver vixen train!

Joining TikTok (still)

This is a carry over from 2022 and 2021 and even though TikTok has spawned BookTok, which creates instant bestsellers, I’m still not getting an account. As an author, I am already on socials for hours every week. I don’t need to add another platform that requires a light ring and lipstick. Besides, most people who excel at producing content for TikTok, work so hard and do such a great job. Maybe one day when I’m writing fulltime, I’ll consider joining TikTok (or its equivalent), but until then I’m leaving it to the pros.

Keeping all my books

This is going to be a tough one, especially as I am a die-hard book lover (fiction, non-fiction, travel, cookbooks…) and I love creating little ‘vignettes’ on my bookshelves. But unless they’re my books (as in, I wrote them) or they are one of my favourite books of all time, in 2024, I will be letting a lot of my books go, free to good homes.

This is because in 2024, Ben and I will be leaving Melbourne for another round-the-world sabbatical. We will be offloading a lot of our furniture and belongings, and storing only the essentials for our return to Australia. A cookbook I was given in 2001 that I never read doesn’t make the list. And won’t it be fun to fill these shelves again when we return?

Giving up my Twitter (not X) profile

I loved Twitter once. I was an early(ish) adopter, so I was able to snag @SandyBarker as my username. I actively contributed to (mostly) writing communities. I posted daily. I built up my followers (nearing 7000), and it was my primary source of news and information.

Then Elon bought it and broke it like a snotty little brat.

Now I go on once a week or so and retweet my close network’s tweets and perhaps add one of my own. I look at that ugly black X and roll my eyes. And I never in a million years thought I would say this, but my new fave platform is Instagram (I know, right?). But I am not closing my Twitter account. I live in hope that Elon will get bored and sell it to someone who restores what was once good about it and elevates the platform, rather than stomping it into the ground, shoveling on a truckload of manure, and setting it on fire (Like Elon did).

Arguing with people online

There is so much to say about this…

First, I am now in my mid-50s and most women I know in this age bracket are over it. And by ‘it’, I mean ridiculous behaviour, entitlement, lies, stupidity and/or willful ignorance, rudeness, and just plain idiocy. (Noting that many friends and family members from other age brackets and genders are also over it, but I see a prevalence amongst my demographic).

And where are we exposed most to these behaviours? Online.

But here’s what I’ve learnt about people who behave badly online (not an exhaustive list):

They want to argue.I will never convince them they are wrong/behaving badly no matter how eloquently I make my point or how correct or salient it is.They believe that the (perceived) anonymity of their online identity entitles them to be their worst selves, even if they’d never do or say these things in person. I say ‘perceived’ because it is SO easy to find out who is behind the profile.THEY ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME OR ENERGY.

The last one is the clincher. These people can suck the joy out of anything. DO NOT ENGAGE!

IMPORTANT: This includes people who are rude or mean when reviewing my books. I’ve said it many times: I know my books are not for everyone; I don’t expect everyone to enjoy my books. I also know that, even though I am writing my 11th book (actually 13th, as I have some side projects), I have MUCH more to learn about writing books, which is why I will continue to read and study the craft as I write.

But there is no reason to be rude or mean when reviewing my books or anyone else’s.

This year, via book reviews, I’ve been accused of plagiarism, and described as a ‘green author’ and an ‘amateur author’ (separate reviews for Books 4 and 9). And one reviewer said she hated my book with a passion, explaining how she hates authors that… [list of sins here].

You know what I say online when I don’t like a book? Nothing. Nada. Nicht. Rien. Niets. I follow the ‘Rule of Thumper’.

And, as ‘arguing with people online’ might require me to say something ‘not nice’, I absolve myself from even going there.

And that’s all for 2024, everyone.

Wherever you are in the world, I wish you a safe and happy 2024, and for some of you, I will see you soon.

Sandy x