We need to connect deeply to have good relationships. To build trust. To reduce conflict. To influence others and help them make positive change.

But to be emotionally understood by someone else — or the reverse — isn’t just uncommon. It’s practically arcane, like alchemy or finding good tomatoes out of season. It’s rarer than a humble influencer. We try, but often we’re like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon. Wah-wah-wah.

What’s truly maddening is that this entire ordeal is treated like somethi...