If children have one flaw, it’s that they grow up.

Our youngest of four children graduated from high school. I may pretend I have other things to do, but these children have been my life and job for twenty-six years. It is a strange time. I feel like either I’m the one graduating - or being pushed off a cliff.

Everything is yours for a time, and then it isn’t. Everything is borrowed, and everything is temporary while you are here… -Brianna Wiest, The Pivot Year1

I know that being a parent is really about working yourself out of a job. We actually want them to leave - it could be otherwise :)2 (remember when I said I didn’t want to get old? I have evolved.)

Yet the feelings swing wildly between extreme pride and accomplishment to an astounding amount of nostalgia and grief.

My go-to grief strategies have a pattern:

run, cry, read

repeat.

The running and crying are are an essential and special type of therapy for me. As for reading, our pal Caroline says, “books will always give me a resigned perspective. Good books might not solve every problem, but the shared experience with a book is comforting.” I like that. I concur.

Side note: I kindof love graduations because every year I’ll hear a speech that MOVES ME. This year: Mark Moore3 and Steve Carell - YOU MUST GET TO THE DANCE PARTY.

Okay, so we’ve gone on some runs and we’ve cried.

Now to books saving us, or at least providing comfort:

These Books Showed Up For Me:

I read six books over the last few weeks and I’ve been reflecting on how each of them have comforted me as I process who I am exactly without children living at home.

OLIVETTI by Allie Millington

ANNA KARENINA by Leo Tolstoy4

THE BURNING SEASON by Caroline Starr Rose5

HAPPINESS FALLS by Angie Kim

THE LET THEM THEORY by Mel Robbins6

THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS by Dav Pilkey

Let’s play a game!

Match the quote to the book:

A.

“When you say Let Them, you give other people the space to feel their emotions without needing to fix them. When you say Let Me, you do what’s right for you, even if it upsets someone, which is how you take responsibility for your own life.”

B.

“Only one thing can help us now,” said
George.
“What?” asked Harold.
“Rubber doggy doo-doo,” said George.” 7

C.

LIGHTNING CUTS

across the sky.
The lantern casts
strange shadows.

Thunder booms
close enough
I feel its echo
in my chest.

…

A fire tower’s the safest place
a person could be in a storm.

D.

“She hardly knew at times what it was she feared, and what she hoped for. Whether she feared or desired what had happened or what was going to happen and exactly what she longed for, she could not have said.”

E.

“The human species, you see, is full of flaw:
Breakable bones. Scratchable skin. The daily need to defecate.
But the worst one by far is that they grow up."

F.

“For the rest of our lives, every time one of us goes somewhere and doesn’t return on time, doesn’t let the others know where we are, we will remember this time, what can happen. And we will fall apart.”

ANSWERS:

(1 E) (2 D) (3 C) (4 F) (5 A) (6 B)

Are you wondering WHY I read Captain Underpants?

Well, now I know what all the hype is about! I’m not the target audience, but I laughed. A lot. In fact, I felt like I was in third grade again and that was fun.8

Each one of these recent reads comforted me in some way, even the one about boys cracking jokes about the hilarious word “underwear.”

“I suppose there is really only one place to go. The library.
What is it about books that helps us be brave?" -Olivetti9

If I were giving a graduation speech this year, I would tell the graduates to do two things:

Show up for your people (as our speaker Mark Moore did)

READ

Read deeply and widely. Question everything, and for heaven’s sake use PRIMARY SOURCES.

Oh, and dance parties will always help.

I will read, and I’ll also remember the little girl who had to have her dad sit with her through half of first grade because she missed her mama so much. Yes, this is a true story.

And just see how she flies now.

We will get through - and books can be a part of saving us.

Amy 💖

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The beautiful children…happy graduation, everyone!The Last Part:

Sibling Shenanigan Books for Summer: featuring The McNifficents! Thank you,

Movies I liked while on vacation in Yellowstone…Hitchcock, The Hill, and Dirty Dancing (I’ve seen it a dozen times. It’s just so good).

Painted: Winnie the Pooh food tags for my daughter’s baby shower - I will show you!

Querying: My agent retired so I’m on the hunt again…life feels hard

Smelling: My garden peonies. Oh, I love them so. Did you know? If winter is too mild, peonies might not bloom at all, or they will be weak bloomers. Their color will be less vibrant and they will struggle to thrive.

Under the cold, hard, frozen ground, there is important work going on. The long winter months in New Hampshire are not an interruption to the growth of the flower, but a necessary part of the plan.

Here she is in bloom 🌸

In bloom. Just like me and you…

If you’d like to support my work with a paid yearly subscription, I will gratefully send you a signed copy of any one of my books 🙏 and then I will do cartwheels because you have made MY YEAR of writing possible <3

The Unforgettable Guinevere St. Clair is part-mystery, part understanding of the human heart 💖

Ten Thousand Tries is Golden’s quest to save his dad and the soccer team ⚽

The McNifficents is one summer with six rambunctious kids and their miniature-schnauzer nanny 🐕 New Hampshire’s 2024 Great Reads for Kids selection!

1

Brianna, knowing just how to twist the knife in my heart

2

a Jane Kenyon poem and it’s marvelous

3

Mark and Sandra Moore lost their son, just before senior year began and was a close friend of my daughter’s. “Patrick,” she said, “made caring cool.”

4

I listened to this on Hoopla…all THIRTY THREE HOURS of it. Whew.

5

This is an amazing post about Caroline’s drafting process!

6

There’s some controversy over this book - as to whether Mel Robbins actually “came up with it” - and I think it’s important to be aware

7

Did you laugh?!?

8

Also, Dav Piley’s author bio is a favorite: “When Dav Pilkey was a kid, he was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. He was so disruptive in class that his teachers made him sit out in the hallway every day. Luckily, Dav loved to draw and make up stories, so he spent his time in the hallway creating his own original comic books—the very first adventures of Dog Man and Captain Underpants.”

9

I loved Olivetti so much that after I listened to it, I immediately bought it!