Let’s start with a bit of awe. From this book about the wonder of our bodies:

“When I cut bone, it bleeds. Most amazing of all, when bone breaks, it heals itself. Perhaps an engineer will someday develop a substance as strong and light and efficient as bone, but what engineer could devise a substance that can grow and also lubricate and repair itself?” –Dr. Paul Brand, Fearfully and Wonderfully, p. 110

Wow, right?

(This is a beautiful recommended book to continue in the awe of how God made us.)

Awe isn’t just amazement—it’s a divine reminder that we are not whole without God. It’s that holy ache you feel when you see a sunset that stirs your soul. Or when a song moves you to tears. Or when kindness catches you off guard. Or when you see moral beauty.

When you experience awe, you are pulling out of yourself.

But then there is this self-talk that goes on inside your head. Your mind is a very noisy place. The brain chatters, mostly chatters regurgitated stuff. Your brain is a chattering machine that regurgitates stuff all the time. Let’s put the focus on that word regurgitates.

Science has noted that when turning inward, doing meditations, or some other self-empowering mind practice, you won’t experience peaceful, quiet bliss. You will find jumpy, scattered thoughts. The “default” state of the brain, discovered by neuroscientists and psychologists, is a “wandering mind.” Our minds don’t sit still and quiet. We have jumpy and scattered thoughts. Lots of regurgitated thoughts.

You know this when you try to pray. This is the default of our brain.

We can also lead our brains.

This “wandering mind” actually affects our mental health. Studies have found that mental wandering is associated with increased unhappiness. Our default mental state is that our minds wander, and getting lost within ourselves makes us unhappy.

Turning inward doesn’t produce joy; it produces depression, anxiety, and hostility. You won’t find rest “going inside” yourself.

There’s more problems. From this self-talk, we then proceed to prove our worth. The pace of your life validates who you are. Crazy busy is a definer of you that you love to show people. We play the hero game. We puff ourselves up in groups and on social media, often with good intentions because we want to be seen as someone of worth. Not the boring you that does your dishes every day. Some of you also make your bed every day.

When we get lost within ourselves, we default to our phones which “centers” our minds on more wandering thoughts which make us more unhappy. Right?

Most of our mental wandering takes the shape of self-talk, the voice in our heads. The ego is talkative and chatty. We tend to pay too much attention to this self-talk. So often your self-talk is mean to you.

We can also lead our brains. 2 Corinthians 10:5 teaches us that we can take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. If we didn’t have this God-given authority, the Bible wouldn’t be instructing us to take captive our thoughts.

We have this God-given authority. This authority comes from outside of yourself.

You experience awe when you are moved to be outside of yourself. We are going somewhere here. Read also: Wondering If You Matter?  

My husband John has written this song, “My Own Worst Enemy.” Watch the video.

Let’s look at some of these lyrics.

I’ve said words to me I’d never say

To someone else in pain.

Held myself outside of mercy,

Like my soul was just a stain.

But You said love means healing,

Then it’s time I let it start—

To forgive what’s in the mirror

And fix this broken heart.

I am my own worst enemy,

Fighting battles You died to win.

I lock myself in chains You broke,

Call myself names You never spoke.

But You said love my enemies,

I guess that means I have to love me

The song has quite a hook too so that these words earworm into your brain. This is a good thing. Your brain could use this truth.

When Jesus said to love your enemies, would you have ever considered that might include loving yourself?

You may need to take a breath here.

Your self-talk is not just harmless background noise. It shapes how you see yourself, how you show up in relationships, and how much freedom you give yourself to grow.

The good news is that those inner words are not the final truth about you. The final truth comes from outside of yourself.

You matter. Why you matter comes from outside of yourself. You can spend lots of effort trying to be the definer of you. Or creating the you you want to be. But the ache in your soul remains. Someone outside of you reaches that ache in your soul. Read more: Wondering If You Matter?

p.s. This song pairs very well with Big Daddy Weave’s “Redeemed.” Both easily earworm into your brain and this is a good thing. Put those two songs on repeat every day for a while.

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