Hello All. There is no good way to break this news, but we wanted to let people know as soon as possible. Bud passed away early this morning. He passed peacefully after a long, and at times, arduous battle with pancreatic cancer. While Bud’s time on earth is done, the words he shared, the love he gave, and the hopes and fears he recounted here, will live on here, in loving memory of his life, his work, and yes his experience with cancer. Nic and I hope that you continue to use this space to honor Bud and his work.

For the last ten plus years, Bud has been a virtual soul. He thrived on his virtual connections, which became especially important and crucial over the past year. The conversations he has had via email, Facebook, and with Communication community inspired, enlightened, uplifted, and more recently, kept him going, giving him something to look forward to each day, adding purpose and humor and joy to his life. Nic and I cannot think of a better way to honor Bud than to continue that conversation. Please take the time to memorialize Bud here in whatever way works best for you.

Nic and I would like to thank you all for all the support we have received over the past year. The outpouring of prayers, messages of support and encouragement and your love kept us going and buoyed us through this incredibly challenging time in our lives. While we sincerely appreciate everyone’s love and support, there are a few people we would like thank personally.

First, everyone at Four Winds but most especially Monica, Lauren, Gerri, Jan, Terri, Bonnie, Ashley, Dr. Robin, and Dr. Sud who guided us through the last year with such love and compassion and respect. We cannot begin to express our love and gratitude for who you are and how much you all have meant and continue to mean to us. Thank you.

We owe immeasurable thanks to Alyssa for her love, patience, positive attitude, and willingness to do whatever was needed, often without us even knowing it at the time, throughout this journey. She helped us move (twice!) cooked, cleaned, ran errands, and provided us with endless entertainment. She has been Nic’s rock, my extra dose of strength, and too often, the go to girl for us both when errands needed to be run, but Nic and I were too tired to go ourselves. She didn’t have to do any of the hundreds of things, big and small that she did for us this past year, but she did them all with love, a sense of humor, and tremendous grace. Thank you Alyssa.

And to Mac who was always here for us no matter what we needed. He helped us move. Brought us food. And was always ready with a strong hug when we needed one most. Nic couldn’t ask for a better friend and Bud and I are so lucky to have Mac as part of our extended family.

We would like to thank Angela and Anna for their amazing friendship. You opened your hearts and lives to us, accommodating our schedule and limitations, filling our time together with laughter and fun. Thank you for being your wonder funny, loving selves. And to all the other ASU folks who emailed, stopped by, and supported Bud and by extension, Nic and I over the past year, thank you.

Thank you to Amira, Bob, and Nick for spearheading the amazing tribute book Celebrating Bud. Your efforts and those of all who contributed meant the world to Bud and the book is something Nic and I will cherish.

We would also like to thank Stewart and Carl for your visits, your long, long emails, and the love and support you provided to Bud, not just in the last year, but over decades of friendship.

And to Vikki and Harvey, thank you so much for your love and support. Thanks for being our friends and having our backs when we also needed you to be our doctors. Thanks for always being honest and for letting me know daily that you were and are here for us. And especially to Vikki for always making me laugh when I wanted to cry.

The same goes for Kris, who always seemed to know instinctively when I needed a virtual hug or a funny message and never failed to provide both. I know you wanted to do more and to be here, but being where you are and doing what you do is so very important. We get that and we love you for it.

Thanks too, to the wonderful caregivers at Hospice of the Valley. Cheryl swooped in on a Sunday afternoon to get us started, addressing all of our concerns, helping us to make Bud comfortable, and giving Nic and I the support we needed at exactly the right time. Tammy has been so caring and attentive of our needs and Sean handled the more delicate matters of after-life needs with astonishing consideration for our needs and Bud’s wishes. Everyone at Hospice of the Valley, helped to make this last step in a very long process much less daunting and far less overwhelming that Nic and I imagined. We are so grateful for your help and support.

And finally, thank you to my family – Martha and Clarence (Nana and Pop), Rick and Jackie, Kat and Liz, Connor and Tyler and Ashley, Tory and John Carl and Rosa and Thomas for loving us, praying for us, and for knowing when to be here and when to give us our space. Sometimes, not doing the thing you want to do most is the hardest thing to do. I know that being so far away during this time has been so very hard on you all. Thank you for giving us the huge gift of making this about us and what we needed. I know it wasn’t easy for you all, but we love you all the more for doing it.

We were so blessed to have had the time we did. Our lives have been forever changed by the past year. Our little family had so many conversations, talked about so many important things over the past fourteen months and a myriad of small things that, at the time seemed so insignificant, but down the road will add to our loving memory of Bud as husband, father, and friend.

One of the things we discussed was what kind of memorial Bud wanted. And Bud, being Bud, of course said that he wanted to be buried in a cathedral, like Shakespeare or Chaucer. After explaining that wasn’t really a possibility given he was not British or famous (his local fame not withstanding) or knighted other than by the queen when he was five, or a member of the Church of England, he decided that what he really wanted was to be cremated and have his ashes scattered at Grayton Beach. Grayton Beach has special meaning for us. It was on a trip to Grayton Beach he and I realized we were in love. As a family, we spent numerous summer breaks, New Year’s, and Valentine’s days and part of both sabbaticals there. It is a beautiful, historic state park that has not changed in years and, we hope, will remain unchanged for a very long time. And in the little village of Grayton, one of our favorite spots, The Red Bar, beckons for those who want to raise a glass to Bud’s memory, if you ever find yourself in the area.

But for now, we ask that you join us in a virtual wake of Bud. Wherever you are, raise a glass and toast his life and his memory. And rest assured, he will be smiling down on all of us and in true Bud fashion, reveling in all the attention.

Cross posted on Bud's Facebook page.