For some unknown reason…
I’m drawn to fences.

 

 

 

I check them out while driving in my car or even walking around. I notice them in neighborhoods, along highways and country roads marveling at some of the creative designs made from stone, block, iron and wood. 
When I see an old beat up wooden fence, I try to imagine how many years ago someone painstakingly cut huge amounts of tree limbs and used barbed wire so they could contain livestock, keep people out or keep the kids within the yard.
Natural stacked stone walls and fences like the ones you see in Italy are abundant and almost tell their own story when you look at them.
I like Red brick fences with brick pillars and black ornate wrought iron separating the red brick columns. It’s clean and rich looking.


Some fences give owners complete privacy and then there are others like barbed wire or slats allowing you to see through to the other side, but they also send a message quietly saying, “Keep out” “Keep off”, or “Keep your distance.”
Speaking of fences, today is the day the wooden dog-eared fence in the backyard of the Retreat House will come down. Over the past five years, the warped fence has taken a gradual, yet continual leaning that has begged for help. The next three days, a new tan-colored vinyl no-maintenance fence will be installed. The guys are out there now in the backyard and they are digging twenty-four post holes both by hand and by way of jack hammer. Living in the mountains, we are over inundated with rock. No matter where you dig, you will come up with rocks and even boulders.  This is where you have two choices.
Dig somewhere else or use “creative design.”

 

I have learned the importance of digging deep post holes so the concrete that surrounds the posts will make a solid and strong bond eliminating sway or give. This is part of the problem with our old fence.  The person who built it did not dig the minimum of 24″deep for the posts to set so we have the swaying and leaning problem.
I think we can use the analogy of a fence and boundaries to our own lives. 
How?
We create and choose our own personal boundaries in life. We decide on boundaries with friends, family, work, moral issues and time.  I remember just before getting married to my second husband, the marriage counselor discussed the importance of setting boundaries both as a couple and individually. 
I learned that very often, setting boundaries includes the word,
No.
For example, the boundary of not allowing the occasional mental drain from family, friends or spouse.  No to making me feel guilty about saying no-thank-you to a commitment I know I can’t keep. No to allowing others to make me feel I am not worthy. No to my own temptations that might harm my marriage, other relationships and myself. 
Even with the tools of personal boundary setting, I am human and sometimes I allow my own or others thoughts to tempt me towards hurt, guilt and even despair. 
So what’s the solution?


How about a counter-attack with the word,
yes.
Yes, I will choose to keep my distance when needed from places, people and situations that might hurt me physically, emotionally and spiritually. Yes, I will selectively allow others within my boundaries, even if I don’t agree with them and I will accept them for who they are and what they believe.  And I will pray for them.  I will divert from seeing more negativity to seeing the good in people, circumstances and situations. And, yes I will be confident and resolute in my decisions to do what’s best for me, my spiritual health and my sanity.


But the most important Yes of all, is allowing the Lord God Almighty who loves us unconditionally and who can see through, around, over, within and under our fences.  No matter what type of fence you build within your mind or heart, there is no fencing God in or out. He is there all ways and always.

 

Until next time………..

Candy

 

 

 

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