Hi, Ladies. Feels good to take a deep breath and hang with you for a few minutes. Wish I had a latte. It's too much trouble to hobble up the steps in this gigantic boot thing to even get a cup of tea, so I'll settle for good conversation.

It's been a rough week. I had toe joint surgery last Wednesday and it was more of an ... event than I thought it was going to be. I didn't expect as much pain as I ended up having either. I tried not to whine. Really.

Then on Sunday, our precious Guinness who you can see in the picture above, became very ill. Early Tuesday morning, he passed away. It was a liver infection, something completely out of the blue for a four-year-old pup who was in amazing health and had enough energy for several dogs. The sadness was so heavy I could barely move. It still is at times.

I've shared with you all year the various losses that our family has had to deal with. My beloved agent and friend, another dear friend -- my sister being diagnosed with dementia. Those were all expected, though still painful. This, though ... it seemed to come from nowhere and it is as if the pile got too high and this thing toppled the whole thing sideways. It really does feel like I've fallen off of something tall.

This would be the perfect time to stand out in an open field, look up into the heavens and go "Really, God? Really?" Have you been there? When it all builds up until you think you can't possibly handle one more thing. Another painful loss or slam to endure and you're going down for the count. The psalmists were there several times, shaking their fists at God and accusing him of losing their address.  God can actually take it. I've even done it in the past.

But that same beloved friend and agent who passed away a little over a year ago and left a hole I'll never fill, left this as his legacy. Crystal had it printed on a stone for me. He said:

Whether I'm healed of cancer in this life or not ...

God is good.

God is faithful.

God is merciful.

God is loving.

That is what I believe, this is my confession.

Maybe it's a year of loss and grief and pain that has proven that to be true for me. Or maybe it's the fact that I don't believe God deliberately gives us things like losing a beloved pet or having to have surgery or a watching a sibling lose herself just so we'll  LEARN something. I think we do learn and grow and become strong, with God. But I couldn't say, "God is always good," if I thought God said, "The Rues are too attached to Guinness. I think I'll give the dog a liver infection that will make him suffer for 48 hours before he dies."

Whatever the reason, I completely believe what Lee Hough said. I believe it even today when my foot throbs and my dog Geneveve walks around like she's lost and my sister called me twice in the same hour when I told her I had a Skype session with a client, because she can't help it. I believe it. Which means I'm putting one hand up -- instead of a fist -- and saying, "God, will you pull me up physically and emotionally because right now, I can't do this.

If you want to comment today, tell us if you've been there, with the pile toppling down -- even if the pile is homework and decisions and friend problems --those are completely valid stressors. Tell us if as you begin your adult life, you believe those words, that no matter what, God is good and merciful and loving and faithful. Tell us if that makes a difference.

Be well. Savor the moment.

Have that latte on me.

Blessings,

Nancy