Dr. Ama Zing

632 Sweets Street

Fiction City, AL 12345

(800) LUV-CATS

socool@yarhoo.org

Jennifer Yorgenstein, Agent

Big BUcks Agency

Yo Jennifer,

It was pretty cool meeting you at the confernce. I found your question and answer session on Friday kinda boring, but informative. I now send three chapters of my dark romance/literary/speculative/satire novel, Sparkely Bloodsuckers. I know, you didn’t request it, and you don’t handle vampire books, but I’m sure you’ll be amazed as soon as you read it. You’re welcome. The manuscript is almost done..

Brattness Epperdeen just got bit. She is now a vampire. Her friends don’t like her no more. She says, “well, screw them! You’s guys suck anyways! I’ll just go back to my charter school for wizards and learn spells like the other kids. I sure hope they don’t have a killing contest on that island this year!”

So, that’s about as far as I got so far. My mom read it and said she’s likes it a lot. That’s cool cuz my mom never likes anything I do, so it must be pretty damn good.

I read it to my cats, and they love it to.

The best part so far is where Brattniss looks in the mirror and describes herself so the reader knows how totally hot she is. That will sell lots of books, I think..

Fans of Dean Koontz will buythis novel, cuz I right better than him.

I am sending this on purple card stock, perfumed with Chanel #5. That shud get your attention pretty good. Careful when opening the box, there’s like five pounds of glitter in there.

A short synopsis is not included, because those are super hard to write. The first three chapters are included, which is like 82 words or something. Please make my huge advance check out to me, Dr. Ama Zing. I look forward to spending your munny and going on a super awesome book signing tour.

Peace out,

Doctor Zing

So there you go. Make sure your query letter does none of these things. Wow, this was fun to write.