Rick Riordan
asked
Rick Riordan:
A reader commented: “Is this really Rick Riordan answering these questions? I love your work. The only thing I don’t like is that Nico is gay.”
Rick Riordan
Reader, I’m reposting your question from my own account, not yours, so you don’t get a ton of angry messages (which is something LGBTQ+ folks are used to getting every day of their lives). Yes, this is really me, though you’re wise to always be skeptical of what you read online. As for your comment, I am not sure why you felt the need to single out “Nico is gay” as the thing you don’t like, but I have a few points I would ask you to think about.
Depending on which survey data you look at, the population of the United States is somewhere between 2%-10% LGBTQ+. This is true of every state in the union. This means that if you live in America (but not just in America), it is a statistical certainty you have gay people in your life right now. You have gay relatives. You have gay classmates. You have friends with gay parents. If you’re not aware of that fact, it’s probably because those people don’t feel comfortable being honest with you. Your dislike for gayness will not make any of them un-gay. That’s a fundamental part of who they are. It will, however, show them that your friendship, your love and respect, are highly conditional, and they cannot trust you or be themselves around you. That’s a shame, not just for them, but for you.
Maybe the idea of gay people makes you uncomfortable. It’s okay to acknowledge feeling that way. I did when I was a kid. We tend to get uncomfortable when we are faced with people who are not like us. The world is full of people who are not like you, however, so it’s important to learn to accept that you share a planet with all types of folks, and they have just as much right to live and love and talk openly about their lives as you do. They are not a threat to you. They are not looking to share the most private details of their love lives with you or make you be like them. Don’t, therefore, expect them to be like you.
Perhaps you think, “I don’t mind gay people, but why do I have to hear about them? I’m tired of hearing about them.” I guarantee you, they’re equally tired of hearing how much you don’t want to hear about them. Does it seem fair that you get to comment on your dislike for them when you expect them to be silent and invisible about who they are? For as long as there have been humans, there have been LGBTQ+ people, and there have been people who were afraid of them and wanted to erase them from the historical records. The Greek gods were almost all canonically bisexual, but you won’t read about that in most children’s books. For some reason, it’s okay for children’s books to mention the murders and abuses the Greek gods committed all the time, but not the fact that they had same-sex relationships. Historical figures like Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci, who created some of Christianity’s most important art, were gay. Erasing that part of their identity doesn’t make it go away. Being honest about it does not constitute a threat to people who aren’t gay. Again, not letting people be honest about who they are does not protect you or your comfort level. It will simply make it more difficult for you to navigate the world you live in, and hinder you from learning to be accepting and kind to others.
Perhaps you object to homosexuality on religious grounds. I can’t speak to every religion. My own background is Christian. My father is Jewish. I am quite familiar with the sacred traditions of those two faiths and to a lesser extent with Islam. It’s true, all three monotheistic religions have injunctions which can be used to paint homosexuality as a sin. All three religious traditions also have numerous teachings about accepting others, loving one another, and not judging the actions of others when only God knows their hearts. If your objection to homosexuality is religious, I would suggest that you are focusing on the least important parts of your religious teachings and ignoring the overall message. There are many, many people of strong faith who are LGBTQ+ or who accept the rights of LGBTQ+ people to live their lives openly and honestly. If that does not accord with the way you see your faith, okay. You have the right to practice your faith as you see fit — to the extent that it does not interfere with others’ rights to do the same. You do not have the right to force everyone else to conform to your worldview, however. As the old saying goes, your right to swing your fist ends just before it connects with my body. Conflicting rights are not always easy to negotiate. People would rather argue than talk and try to understand. Having grown up in Texas, I have known many anti-LGBTQ+ folks, and they often turn the argument around: “Oh, but you are forcing your world view onto us!” But acknowledging that there ARE other worldviews, and that they have a right to be expressed too, is not forcing that world view upon you. It is simply insisting that they have the right to be seen and not erased. The point is, there are multiple worldviews, just like there are multiple kinds of people, and we have to learn to live together. We can’t do that by pretending that entire sections of humanity don’t exist, or are too scary or dangerous for kids to learn about. We can only learn to live in a pluralistic society by giving each other the right to be ourselves and express our truths, even (especially) if they are different from other people’s truths. That’s what education is all about: learning to see things from many different points of view, and learning to listen to others even if we don’t agree with them. Nobody is perfect at that. Certainly, I am not always good at it. But the answer is never to shut down discourse and censor which voices are allowed in the dialogue, no matter whether you are eight years old or eighty.
In conclusion, I would ask you to think about why you don’t like the fact that Nico is gay, and to consider whether your dislike is more important than the feelings of thousands of gay kids who have written me thank-you letters for including them in Percy Jackson’s world when most people pretend they don’t exist or (worse) openly attack them for being too dangerous for kids to know about, even though they are themselves just kids trying to find their way in the world. They have the right to see themselves in stories, just like you do.
Depending on which survey data you look at, the population of the United States is somewhere between 2%-10% LGBTQ+. This is true of every state in the union. This means that if you live in America (but not just in America), it is a statistical certainty you have gay people in your life right now. You have gay relatives. You have gay classmates. You have friends with gay parents. If you’re not aware of that fact, it’s probably because those people don’t feel comfortable being honest with you. Your dislike for gayness will not make any of them un-gay. That’s a fundamental part of who they are. It will, however, show them that your friendship, your love and respect, are highly conditional, and they cannot trust you or be themselves around you. That’s a shame, not just for them, but for you.
Maybe the idea of gay people makes you uncomfortable. It’s okay to acknowledge feeling that way. I did when I was a kid. We tend to get uncomfortable when we are faced with people who are not like us. The world is full of people who are not like you, however, so it’s important to learn to accept that you share a planet with all types of folks, and they have just as much right to live and love and talk openly about their lives as you do. They are not a threat to you. They are not looking to share the most private details of their love lives with you or make you be like them. Don’t, therefore, expect them to be like you.
Perhaps you think, “I don’t mind gay people, but why do I have to hear about them? I’m tired of hearing about them.” I guarantee you, they’re equally tired of hearing how much you don’t want to hear about them. Does it seem fair that you get to comment on your dislike for them when you expect them to be silent and invisible about who they are? For as long as there have been humans, there have been LGBTQ+ people, and there have been people who were afraid of them and wanted to erase them from the historical records. The Greek gods were almost all canonically bisexual, but you won’t read about that in most children’s books. For some reason, it’s okay for children’s books to mention the murders and abuses the Greek gods committed all the time, but not the fact that they had same-sex relationships. Historical figures like Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci, who created some of Christianity’s most important art, were gay. Erasing that part of their identity doesn’t make it go away. Being honest about it does not constitute a threat to people who aren’t gay. Again, not letting people be honest about who they are does not protect you or your comfort level. It will simply make it more difficult for you to navigate the world you live in, and hinder you from learning to be accepting and kind to others.
Perhaps you object to homosexuality on religious grounds. I can’t speak to every religion. My own background is Christian. My father is Jewish. I am quite familiar with the sacred traditions of those two faiths and to a lesser extent with Islam. It’s true, all three monotheistic religions have injunctions which can be used to paint homosexuality as a sin. All three religious traditions also have numerous teachings about accepting others, loving one another, and not judging the actions of others when only God knows their hearts. If your objection to homosexuality is religious, I would suggest that you are focusing on the least important parts of your religious teachings and ignoring the overall message. There are many, many people of strong faith who are LGBTQ+ or who accept the rights of LGBTQ+ people to live their lives openly and honestly. If that does not accord with the way you see your faith, okay. You have the right to practice your faith as you see fit — to the extent that it does not interfere with others’ rights to do the same. You do not have the right to force everyone else to conform to your worldview, however. As the old saying goes, your right to swing your fist ends just before it connects with my body. Conflicting rights are not always easy to negotiate. People would rather argue than talk and try to understand. Having grown up in Texas, I have known many anti-LGBTQ+ folks, and they often turn the argument around: “Oh, but you are forcing your world view onto us!” But acknowledging that there ARE other worldviews, and that they have a right to be expressed too, is not forcing that world view upon you. It is simply insisting that they have the right to be seen and not erased. The point is, there are multiple worldviews, just like there are multiple kinds of people, and we have to learn to live together. We can’t do that by pretending that entire sections of humanity don’t exist, or are too scary or dangerous for kids to learn about. We can only learn to live in a pluralistic society by giving each other the right to be ourselves and express our truths, even (especially) if they are different from other people’s truths. That’s what education is all about: learning to see things from many different points of view, and learning to listen to others even if we don’t agree with them. Nobody is perfect at that. Certainly, I am not always good at it. But the answer is never to shut down discourse and censor which voices are allowed in the dialogue, no matter whether you are eight years old or eighty.
In conclusion, I would ask you to think about why you don’t like the fact that Nico is gay, and to consider whether your dislike is more important than the feelings of thousands of gay kids who have written me thank-you letters for including them in Percy Jackson’s world when most people pretend they don’t exist or (worse) openly attack them for being too dangerous for kids to know about, even though they are themselves just kids trying to find their way in the world. They have the right to see themselves in stories, just like you do.
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