G. answers “Scott, you’ve done over 250 days on silent...”

Griffin Acheson asked this question about Now what? After Your Vipassana Course Is Over:

Scott, you’ve done over 250 days on silent retreats — how has your understanding of the practice changed since your very first course, and what do you wish every first-time old student knew?

G. Graham My first course was rough — I was vomiting outside the meditation hall and wanted to leave. But when I made it through, the experience was so positive…moreMy first course was rough — I was vomiting outside the meditation hall and wanted to leave. But when I made it through, the experience was so positive, so transformative, that I came out of it with a kind of fundamentalist zeal. I had a strict view of how the practice should be done. What was “right.” What was “wrong.” It gave me structure, yes — but also rigidity.

Over time, and with more courses (and maybe just getting older), I’ve mellowed. I’m less strident. Less attached to doing it “perfectly.” I talk about this in the book — how we can end up wearing Vipassanā like a badge of honor, especially in today’s hyper-plugged-in, TikTok-speed world. And ironically, that pride? That attachment? It’s exactly the kind of clinging we come to the cushion to let go of.

One thing I wish every first-time old student knew is this: your progress isn’t measured by how many sittings you do, how upright your posture is, or how many retreats you’ve sat. It’s measured by equanimity. As Goenkaji said, “The only yardstick to measure one’s progress on the path is the equanimity that one has developed.”

And equanimity isn’t loud. It doesn’t post. It doesn’t need to prove anything.(less)

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Now what? After Your Vipassana Course Is Over

by G. Scott Graham (Goodreads Author)

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