the Goodreads Team asked Christopher Moore:

Can you a come up with a deleted scene from your favorite Shakespeare play?

Christopher Moore Caesar’s body lies in state in the Forum. Brutus has just justified the murder of Caesar by accusing him of being ambitious. Marc Anthony, Caesar’s friend and one of the assassins, speaks.

Anthony:
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

Groundling 1:
You don’t even have a shovel. How you going to bury him?

Groundling 2:
You ain’t done a day of digging in your life, ya toff!

Anthony:
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;

Groundling 1:
Entered who with his bone ?

Groundling 2.
Aye, havin’ at that Egypitian tart, weren’t he?

Anthony:
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

Groundling 1:
He et, too, I heard, did Brutus.

Anthony
If it were so, it was a grievous fault.
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.

Groundling 2
He hasn’t answered for anything has he? Dead as doornail, he is. Go ahead, poke him with a stick. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Anthony
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest—

Groundling 1,
What leafs? There ain’t no leafs.

Groundling 2
Brutus has leafs? And he ain’t even sharing.

Anthony
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men—

Groundling 1
Bloody poms, aren’t they. Useless.

Groundling 2
Not a shovel among the lot. How you going to bury him?

Anthony
Oh, never mind.

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