Branson Quotes

“I'm wearing my Midnight Black Dancing Shoes. They are shaped like vintage locomotives, and I move like the memory of Branson in 1991—which fluctuates by minutes every day, just like the scene at my duck farm.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Tourists are as fleeting as holographic butterflies. The only thing permanent in this world is my Leftover Meatloaf. Branson needs to quickly learn this before I'm completely SOLD OUT.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Branson has a few iconic water towers. But the best way to store a large volume of H2O is in a cloud, and I think floating architecture may be the way to go in the future.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“There are two types of things to do in Branson: Things that cost money and things that aren’t fun. Some things are both things.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Music allows us to travel back in time through our ear canals. The top song of 1991, Bryan Adams' "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You", takes me back to Branson in its glory year, and that's like a FREE vacation.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“Real love means giving someone the power to hurt you.”
― Jessica Fellowes, The Wit and Wisdom of Downton Abbey

“My ballsack contains Future People. I’m holding a Meet ‘N’ Greet this Saturday in Branson.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“Stevie splits his time between Branson and Nashville. I think it's smart to divide time by location, rather than AM and PM, because that way you get more distance and are able to extend your life out further.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“As a man who dances like a bronze statue, in the style of Rodin's The Thinker, I know a thing or two about choreography. OK, maybe just a thing, and that thing is this: The dancers in The Anthems of Rock can move—and they’re a big reason the audience was so moved with each song.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“The Anthems of Rock are The Kings and Queens of Queen. No really, they out-Queened Queen, and they put Freddie Mercury in a thermometer and got this crowd HOT.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Glenda told me that somebody just bought Andy Williams’ theater in Branson. Don’t look at me. This morning, I financed my coffee at the café over four monthly payments of 99 cents.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“I just called a How's My Driving phone number. Why did someone in Branson, Missouri pick up and try to sell me a timeshare condo?”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Branson, Missouri is the leftover meatloaf of the tourism industry. It doesn’t matter what year it is, it stays fresh like 1991.”
― Jarod Kintz, Me and memes and memories

“I heard Silver Dollar City starts every morning by playing The National Anthem. That's almost as patriotic as them importing third-world labor so they can keep wages low and force local employees into poverty. Now THAT is American FREEDOM.”
― Jarod Kintz, Me and memes and memories

“Branson is the Maine of Missouri. We don't have Murder, She Wrote, but we do have at least one killer writer.”
― Jarod Kintz, Me and memes and memories

“Boxcar Willie was the Bruce Willis of Branson. He made others Die Hard, and usually because they were listening to his music.”
― Jarod Kintz, Me and memes and memories

“How do I get more people to view my "facebook page?”
― Mike Kendrick

“Sometimes a hard sacrifice must be made for a future that's worth having.”
― Jessica Fellowes, The Wit and Wisdom of Downton Abbey