Smartass Quotes

“Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

“All my friends seem to be smart arses. Don't ask me why. Like many things, it is what it is.”
― Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

“she glanced down and saw that a glove of blood covered her lower arm from the elbow to the wrist. The arm
was throbbing, stiff, and painful.
"Is this when you start tearing strips off your T-shirt to bind up my wound?" she joked.
She hated the sight of blood, especially her own.
"If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked." He dug into his pocket and brought out
his stele. "It would have been a lot less painful.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“A stupid person can make only certain, limited types of errors; the mistakes open to a clever fellow are far broader. But to the one who knows how smart he is compared to everyone else, the possibilities for true idiocy are boundless.”
― Steven Brust, Iorich

“Have you noticed we can breathe in here too?
Gosh, I wouldn't have picked up on that.”
― Dan Abnett, Hereticus

“When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you're fifty, you'll see. I am fifty. I haven't seen anything.”
― Erik Satie

“Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me.
Ella: If you think you can do it without getting lost.”
― Melissa Lemon, Cinder and Ella

“Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart.”
― Raheel Farooq

“I listen, and it's Taylor explaining to Martin that she wasn't necessarily trying to get a gap between her thighs, but it's her metabolism, and she didn't even realize that some girls try to get the gap on purpose. Martin nods and scratches his head and looks bored. "She can't help her metabolism, Simon," Abby says. "Apparently not," Taylor may be an undercover, bully-fighting ninja, but she's still kind of awful.”
― Becky Albertalli, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

“Avoid selling to dumb customers, there aren't enough left!”
― Jasleen Kaur Gumber

“Roan tried not to stare, but the guard’s head was almost perfectly egg shaped. He wanted to ask him if he’d ever had a hen sit on him by mistake.”
― Andrea Speed, Shift

“It’s an expensive place. The cheapest salad is twenty-five dollars.”

“I hope that comes with extra croutons and a hand job.”
― Andrea Speed, Lesser Evils

“We’ll call ourselves Victorious Secret and our motto will be ‘We Live to Spank You.’ Duuude. Yes! I’m basically the smartest person in the world. Ever. You in? Of course you’re in. Practice begins tomorrow.”
― Gena Showalter, The Harder You Fall

“You'd be amazed to discover all the tangible things that can come out of dreams." "Like drool?”
― catherine lowell, The Madwoman Upstairs

“Don't be a smart ass!
Smartass die first!!”
― Deyth Banger

“Better to play dumb than to go as smartass… after all smartasses get what they deserve in the end.”
― Deyth Banger

“Ahh ugh.. ., you are a smartass… Twisted fuck!”
― Deyth Banger, Jokes From A

“As a teacher, no matter what grade level, no matter how hard you try to engage the entire class or implement the suggestions above, you will still encounter “that one kid” who will get under your skin: the class clown, the smart-ass, the student who acts like you are pulling his teeth every time you ask him to do something, the kid who always has to say “this is stupid.” They are just part of the clientele base we serve and they can drive us to drinking (figuratively
speaking…and sometimes literally).  
Please remember that you are the adult.  The negativity or resistance “that one kid” radiates can be handled in a way that does not disturb the class structure.”
― Oran Tkatchov, Success for Every Student: A Guide to Teaching and Learning

“If I were a king going to war, I'd want her to lead my army. Bitch would destroy anything in her path to get what she wanted.”
― L.J. Shen, The Hunter

“I remind myself that if there was anything in the air that would react with my body, it would’ve reacted with the scanner. What I really want right now is a second scanner to scan this scanner.”
― Hugh Howey, Beacon 23

“As a teacher, no matter what grade level, no matter how hard you try to engage the entire
class or implement the suggestions above, you will still encounter “that one kid” who will get
under your skin: the class clown, the smart-ass, the student who acts like you are pulling his teeth every time you ask him to do something, the kid who always has to say “this is stupid.” They are just part of the clientele base we serve and they can drive us to drinking (figuratively
speaking…and sometimes literally).  
Please remember that you are the adult.  The negativity or resistance “that one kid” radiates can be handled in a way that does not disturb the class structure.”
― Oran Tkatchov, Success for Every Student: A Guide to Teaching and Learning

“Ha ha ha ha!" This time, Ye Xiu laughed out loud. His laugh wasn't as fake as Sun Xiangs's. It was real laughter.
"You're right. It wasn't necessary at all. Too many excessive movements will leave too many openings."
"Really? You just seem to be watching these openings pass by!" Sun Xiang replied,
"Sorry, I wasn't talking to you. However, I have to express my thanks. You're extremely valuable teaching material! Keep up the good work!”
― Blue Butterfly, The King's Avatar

“Ha ha ha ha!" This time, Ye Xiu laughed out loud. His laugh wasn't as fake as Sun Xiangs'. It was real laughter.
"You're right. It wasn't necessary at all. Too many excessive movements will leave too many openings."
"Really? You just seem to be watching these openings pass by!" Sun Xiang replied,
"Sorry, I wasn't talking to you. However, I have to express my thanks. You're extremely valuable teaching material! Keep up the good work!”
― Blue Butterfly, The King's Avatar

“I should thank you,” she whispers. Low enough that Klaus won’t hear.

"You go around thanking everyone for kissing you?”
― Marie Mistry, Liar Witch

“Does he even realise how ridiculous he looks with his hair falling in his face like that? Not that Nilsa agrees with me. No, she’s blushing again. How is it that the fae hasn’t been able to speak to her for months and he’s still getting sweet blushes, big eyed stares, and heated looks out of her? Maybe it’s a sign I need to shut my mouth. I scoff at my own thoughts. Like that’s going to fucking happen.”
― Marie Mistry, Pirate Witch

“Are you watching me sleep?'

'Not now. I was a few minutes ago,' he admitted, one side of his lips curving up. 'Now, I'm talking to you.'

'That's creepy,' I murmured. 'The watching me while I sleep part.'

'Possibly.'

'You have no shame.”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire

“Ashford?”

“Call me Cian.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Why should you call me by my name?”
― Jane Washington, Tourner

“Chang Tian chuckled. “When I was in the kitchen, I heard the three of you debate ‘good relationships.’ My goodness, you’re all theory with no practical knowledge at all. What do you know about healthy relationships?” “All right, expert, why don’t you enlighten us?” Jiang Liu asked. “A good relationship must first allow each party to face their own faults and defects, and in that clarity, they can strive to heal and become complete. Moreover, both parties must ultimately accept the other as they are—in that process the two will repeatedly approach, resist, re-approach, re-resist; they must learn to open up and reveal their core selves and learn that it’s okay to be vulnerable without being hurt, being abandoned, or hurting and abandoning. And after acceptance, there comes the challenge of long-term trust—”
― Hao Jingfang, Jumpnauts

“You want to know what I loved about him? Everything. From a freckle on his ass down to his undying selfish need to always be right.”
― Dominic Riccitello

“We stood there in contemplative silence. Then two attendants wheeled by a wooden cart, one wheel squeaking wildly. The cart carried a large glass tank, like an aquarium—but as it passed before us, we saw it did not contain any conventional fish. Rather, a massive, rippling, purplish starfish was gripping the bottom of the tank—and growing from its back was a human hand.

The hand’s fingers flexed and twitched very slowly as it passed before us, as if exulting in the flow of the water. It had a feminine look to it. Something delicate in the nails and knuckles.

We watched in silence as the tank went by, the one wheel squeaking in protest.

“Looks like Topirak’s getting a replacement,” said Miljin.

I cleared my throat. “Looks that way, sir,” I said hoarsely.

Miljin waited to speak again until its squeak had long faded. Then he grunted.

“Let’s go check Loveh’s quarters for that fucking coin,” he said, “before someone wheels one of them starfish by with a prick growing from its back, and I faint and crack my head open and wind up in one of these goddamn baths.”
― Robert Jackson Bennett, The Tainted Cup