Christopher Newton

“The world is so full of a number of things, I ’m sure we should all be as happy as kings.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson, A Child's Garden of Verses

“Time doth flit; oh shit.”
― Dorothy Parker

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”
― Mark Twain

“He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark. His bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm. Mary's body felt like it was burning, even though the room was properly air-conditioned. They tried all the positions - on top, doggy, and normal.

Exhausted they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa-bed. Then a hell beast ate them.”
― Garth Marenghi, Slicer