Sue Julsen's Blog - Posts Tagged "heartbreaking"

Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival
True Story of a little girl (me) kidnapped by her father...

First off, this is NOT a cozy, feel-good book! It is a 'no holds barred' story about my life dealing with extreme child abuse and my will to survive under the worst conditions.

Bitter Memories is not an easy book to read. Comments from my readers have been numerous, with most saying they felt every emotion possible while reading my story. Most also said they cried, numerous times. Many had to read in short spells because the content was too heartbreaking to take all at once.

However, these wonderful fans, many who are now lifelong friends, continued to read. They continued to learn what it can be like for a child living with abuse.

Bitter Memories was forty plus years in the writing. In the beginning I tried to write it as fiction. I wasn't ready for the world to know what had happened to me all those years.

But, that didn't work.

Next I tried to write it with "clean" language, and that didn't work either. I felt I wasn't being honest. You see, there's no way to "sugarcoat" what I lived through.

Finally, I decided the only way for me to get my message out to the people who needed to hear it the most, was to write my story the way it actually happened.

Let me tell you this: It wasn't any easier for me to write than it's been for people to read. I had to relive all those painful memories! All the things I tried for years to forget but couldn't. Recurring nightmares made sure I didn't forget!

Many times the pain became so strong that I couldn't continue writing. I had to put those memories on a shelf for a while. And, I also had to cry, once again, from all the pain that still lived inside of me.

But I still knew, in order to help others, and myself, Bitter Memories was a story that needed to be told.

I knew by exposing my life and all the bad things that happened, I could help other abused kids, with or without abduction, because those still suffering needed to know they were not alone.

There are others just like me -- many more like me -- and there is hope for kids living with the hidden scars of abuse. There is help for abused kids to heal their pain...to heal their shame.

And, yes! Kids who have been abused feel so much shame. We feel what happened to us was our fault. We feel unloved. We feel we were "bad," not our abusers. And it doesn’t take extreme abuse like mine was to mess up a kid’s head!

As much suffering as I lived with, I was one of the lucky kids. Abducted at age three, living a life of pure hell for six long years, and then to be found in fairly good health…physically, that is. Mentally I was a mess! And I remained a mess for many, many years.

Statistics would say I should have died. And I'm sure I would have, if not for a protective part of the brain.

To be continued…

If you’re ready to read and to learn from my story, please head on over to my website and pick up a copy of Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival. Then go back for the other two books in this trilogy, Trophy Murders and Cutter’s Revenge to learn the rest of the story. Once you read these, why not grab a copy of From The Heart: A Collection of Poems and Stories, also based on my times in my life. Or, get the audio version and listen to From The Heart narrated by Beth MacEwan. Beth is absolutely awesome the way she brings my poetry to life!

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