Grea Alexander's Blog - Posts Tagged "romance"

They're Heeeerrrree! (The winter holidays not some demonic entity that enjoys playing with television snow, clowns and tequila.)

It’s time to spend too much, eat too much and poison your love for the holidays until they’re gone (after which you’ll miss them). The world is shinier, people are pretending to be nicer, everyone’s greed is showing and all around the world cities and towns are lit up like Christmas trees on speed-infused steroids - emitting enough light pollution to blind our outer-worldly guests as they whiz(z) through space. (Says she who puts no less than 1,000 lights on her 5-6 foot Christmas tree every year. Note: Douglas Firs rule!).

In honor of this most sacred period, I have gifts for all - no reciprocal decade old fruit cake required! (Though you can feel free to send me all of the non-toxic presents you like)!

From RIGHT NOW through 1/1/2016:



Amarna Book I: Book of Ida $0.99 USD Save 66%!



Amarna Book II: Book of Hawara $1.99 USD Save 33%!



Amarna III: Book of Raia $2.99 USD Save 0% but get to find out how it ends



Cabello $0.99 USD Save 66%






Rebellion I: Book of Quay $2.99 USD Save 40%



Rebellion II: Book of Soung $3.99 USD Save 20%


Rebellion III: Book of Choi $4.99 USD Save 0% but find out EVERYTHING



On Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi... NO COUPON REQUIRED.

As Barnes and Noble and pretty much all of my other retailers get their electronic editions through Smashwords, the prices will drop at most of my vendors as well within a few days of this posting.

Unfortunately, Amazon has minimum pricing that they will not drop below UNLESS someone happens to point out that another retailer is carrying the same ebook for a lower price (hint. hint) http://freebies2deals.com/2012/11/how...

And please don't forget to review. Reviews are better than a turkey induced coma and good things happen to Grea Alexander reviewers!

Enjoy!

Grea Alexander
SeaMonkeyInk.com

Friday! Friday! Nope it’s not Black Friday!
But in my world it’s close enough,
For savin’ money on my stuff!


Simply click the book’s link and select “Buy with Coupon”. That's it! It's that dang gum simple!

Offer valid on Grea Alexander e-books, only with coupon and on Smashwords.com. Sale begins right now & runs thru 11/30/17.

Offer available to everyone. No limits apply.

View all Grea Alexander ebooks/Blackest Black Friday Deals on Smashwords here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...

Enjoy!

Grea.

50% OFF!


Amarna: Ida
Regular Price: $2.99 USD
Coupon Price: $1.50 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...



Cabello
Regular Price: $2.99 USD
Coupon Price: $1.50 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...



Rebellion: Quay
Regular Price: $4.99 USD
Coupon Price: $2.50 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...


35% OFF!



Miael: Family
Regular Price: $2.99 USD
Coupon Price: $1.94 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...



The Pack: Addison
Regular Price: $2.99 USD
Coupon Price: $1.94 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...



Amarna: The Complete Series
Includes all 3 books in the Amarna Trilogy!
Regular Price: $5.99 USD
Coupon Price: $3.89 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...



Rebellion: The Complete Series
Includes all 3 books in the Rebellion Trilogy!
Regular Price: $9.99 USD
Coupon Price: $6.49 USD
Book link: : https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

Get 'em while the gettin's good!


Why Smashwords?

1. You can choose from multiple formats including: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb, html or read online
2. You can purchase from more countries than any other ebook retailer (from more than 200 countries to be more specific). To see if yours is one of them, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
3. More of your purchase price actually goes to the author than anywhere else.
4. Smashwords gives authors complete control over their pricing including the ability to instantly change the price, to price without pricing minimums or offer coupons without forced exclusivity or forced participation in library programs.

Grea.

We’re going to try something a little different for January & February 2018. We’re going to use the “Reader Sets The Price” function on Smashwords for all of my Book Ones:

Amarna I: Ida

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...




Cabello I

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...




Miael I: Family

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...




The Pack I: Addison

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...




Rebellion I: Quay

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...




Now just what is reader sets price?

It’s exactly what it sounds like. The reader pays what they can/what they feel the book is worth.

If you choose to pay a low price, we do hope that if you enjoy the book, you will purchase a 2nd copy at what you feel is a fairer price...or decide to spoil me rotten and pay an exorbitant price instead!

This feature is only available on Smashwords.

Get 'em while the gettin's good!

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Why Smashwords?

1. You can choose from multiple formats including: epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb, html or read online
2. You can purchase from more countries than any other ebook retailer (from more than 200 countries to be more specific). To see if yours is one of them, click here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/co...
3. More of your purchase price actually goes to the author than anywhere else.
4. Smashwords gives authors complete control over their pricing including the ability to instantly change the price, to price without pricing minimums or offer coupons without forced exclusivity or forced participation in library programs.

Now be generous or you will be smote.

Enjoy!

Grea.
Smashwords Page: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...

Hello....
Are free books what you're looking for?

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Remember how I told you at some point that I'm always pulling something new out of my arse...enal? Well here it is!

Below you will find a listing of the Special Promotions I will be participating in this month. Some give you free ebooks and/or deep discounts and some also give you a chance to win gift cards & other prizes!

Enjoy!

Grea

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Something, Hot, Spicy & Sweet: https://mybookcave.com/g/0cee9e0f/

Dates: Right now through March 5th.

Details: 45 free Spicy, sexy romance novels including a sample of:







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Explore Science Fiction & Fantasy (including Dark Fantasy/Horror) https://mybookcave.com/g/2d167f2a/

Dates: March 1 - March 31

Details: Enter to win a $25 gift card and download some free sci-fi & fantasy ebooks! 49 titles available.

Includes a free sample of:







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Black Girl Magic: https://mybookcave.com/g/425cdd90/

Dates: March 1 - March 31

Details: Free ebook samples and full length novels featuring a black female heroine (in the romance genre or containing at least some romantic elements) including a sample of:







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The Romance Reviews 8th Anniversary Party: https://www.theromancereviews.com/eve...

Dates: March 1 - March 31

Details: Enter to win a $50 gift card and free Romance books! Over 100 participating authors to discover and 100 prizes to be won.

Includes (on March 8th) a chance to win a complete copy of:







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SFF Book Bonanza http://sffbookbonanza.com/free-books

Dates: March 11 - March 17

Details: Free ebook downloads for a wide variety of sci-fi & fantasy genres including: action & adventure, space opera, hard SF, Military SF, Dystopian & Post-Apocalyptic, Cyperpunk & Steampunk, Romance, Epic Fantasy/Sword & Sorcery, Urban Fantasy, Horror, Fables & Myths, Fantasy & Paranormal Romance.

I'm unsure what the prize is for March; however, this outfit gives out big prizes such as $100 Amazon gift cards & the Ultimate E-reader gift baskets that include e-readers, etc. (Scroll down the page for the entry banner)

Includes a free sample of:







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SFF Book Bonanza http://sffbookbonanza.com/99c-books

Dates: March 18 - March 24

Details: Get your sci-fi/fantasy fix for only 99 cents on Amazon (all of them)! Includes a wide variety of sci-fi & fantasy genres including: action & adventure, space opera, hard SF, Military SF, Dystopian & Post-Apocalyptic, Cyperpunk & Steampunk, Romance, Epic Fantasy/Sword & Sorcery, Urban Fantasy, Horror, Fables & Myths, Fantasy & Paranormal Romance.

I'm unsure what the prize is for March; however, this outfit gives out big prizes such as $100 Amazon gift cards & the Ultimate E-reader gift baskets that include e-readers, etc. (Scroll down the page for the entry banner)

Includes this Grea Alexander title for only 99 cents USD on Amazon (all Amazon sites)!






Pop on over and see for yourself between March 18 - March 24! (wink)

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Seamonkey Ink Special Promotions: http://www.seamonkeyink.com/seamonkey...

Yes, you read that right: 100 free ebook titles (full books & samples).

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Missing Valentine's Day already? Well get your free fix of Romance titles here: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/Z4uUMHgd

This promotion runs now through 3/31/2019.

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Looking for new free urban fantasy and paranormal romance titles? Here's your place: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/F...

This promotion runs now through 4/15/2019.

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My 99c title this promotion: http://sffbookbonanza.com/99c-books-m... (now through 3/24)?

Miael: Family



Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...
Smashwords: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

You can also pick up other Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror titles AND enter to win a Mega Kindle giftbasket featuring a kindle $100 Gift Card and lots of goodies at the link above.

Cheers!

Grea.

Cabello: Petrika comes out 05/15/19....just a short time after the release of the original. (cough. cough). In line with my vow to keep my ebook prices as affordable as possible, it will hold the $2.99 line.

It's on presale now via Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, etc.

You can also get your hands on the first chapters here: https://claims.prolificworks.com/free...








The 3rd and final book in the series, Cabello: Acadea, js slowly coming alive within the next couple of days and will go on presale (at $2.99 as well).

Find it on presale on Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, etc.

Lastly, here's a handy directory of all of Grea Alexander's retailers. Click on a retailer's name and it will take you directly to her page (and thus these titles): http://greaalexander.seamonkeyink.com...

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Ok, so really quickly, here's a rundown of the free ebook giveaways, sales and other promotions I have stuck my fingers into for the month of May. They are on various sites, run by various promoters and have various participants.

Unless otherwise designated, it's likely a free ebook giveaway.

Want the pretty graphical version? Go here: http://seamonkeyink.com/seamonkey_ink... (May additions will update on 5/1)

Lastly, feel free to share this information with whomever you choose, however you choose.

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SCI-FI/FANTASY

- Fantasy Fix: 5/1 - 5/31 https://mybookcave.com/g/63357be9/

- Paranormal May: 5/1-5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/z...

- Free & 99c Fantasy Firsties: 5/4 - 5/18 https://storyoriginapp.com/to/Sswd7HI3

- SFF Sci-Fi & Fantasy: 5/13-5/19 http://sffbookbonanza.com/freebooks/ This group also offers BIG prizes such as the chance to win $100 Amazon gift cards & Kindle Gift Baskets

SFF Sci-Fi & Fantasy 99c Books: 5/20 - 5/26 http://sffbookbonanza.com/99c-books/ Same group as above with the same level of prizes

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HORROR

- Mayhem: 5/1-5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/n...

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ROMANCE

- Eternal Love: 4/25 - 12/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/G...

- Spring Into Romance: 5/1 - 5/31 https://mybookcave.com/g/ed4684ca/ Includes a chance to win a $25 giftcard

- Reading Is Sexy: 5/1 - 5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/c... Includes Erotica (Yes, there are multiple authors, just keep scrolling down. (wink))

- Hot Girls & Ladies in Hot Books: 5/1-5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/n... same as above

- May by Moonlight: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/2... Paranormal romance

- Summer Nights Romance Giveaway: 5/13 - 6/13 https://storyoriginapp.com/bundles/26...

- Romance, Romance & Romance: 4/28 - 5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/s...

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HISTORICAL FICTION

- Those Who Forget the Past: 5/1 - 5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/c... Historical Fiction & Non-Fiction

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NON-FICTION

- No Myth: 5/1 - 5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/M...


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MULTI-GENRE

- Celebrate Diversity - Authors of Color: 5/15 - 6/15 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/t...

- The Write Stuff - Female Authors 5/15 - 6/15 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/l...

- My Summer Reading List: 5/1 - 5/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/F...

--Re-Kindle - Kindle Unlimited Authors: 5/12 - 5/18 https://storyoriginapp.com/bundles/25...
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ONGOING

- Dark Fantasy: 4/9 - 6/7 https://storyoriginapp.com/to/OYDG1G5X

- Free Romantic Suspense Books - 4/8 - 5/7: https://storyoriginapp.com/bundles/1e...

All of these run 04/11 – 05/10:

- Step into the Past - Historical Fiction: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/Z...

- Steamy Romance Giveaway: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/A...

- Hell-Raising Horror Giveaway: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/k...

- Love Bites - Paranormal Romance Giveaway: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/I...

- Forbidden Planets - Science Fiction Giveaway: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/J...

- Easter Romance Giveaway: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/7...

- Discover the Magic - Fantasy Giveaway: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/P...

Unless otherwise designated, these are free ebook giveaways.

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UPDATED 06/10/2019

Newly Added:

Free Sci-fi/Fantasy titles - includes big prize giveaways! http://sffbookbonanza.com/free-books-...

Link corrections:

6/1-6/30 Books That Set Your Nerves on Edge: Pulse-pounding Novels with Suspense, Thriller, Crime or Horror elements https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/H...


6/1-6/30 History Repeating: historical fiction - all genres https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/0...

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MULTI-GENRE/ALL GENRE

6/1 - 6/15 Are You Willing To Try Something for a Dollar? 99c Ebooks - https://storyoriginapp.com/bundles/d4...-

5/1 - 9/30 My Summer Reading List: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/F...

5/26 - 6/15 Celebrate New Releases in May: 2019 New Release Titles https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/X...

6/1-6/30 Books That Set Your Nerves on Edge: Pulse-pounding Novels with Suspense, Thriller, Crime or Horror elements https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/H...

6/15 - 7/15 Indie Authors: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/i...

6/15 - 7/15 Fabulous, Feisty & Female - Strong Female Protagonists: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/U...

6/1-6/30 History Repeating: historical fiction - all genres https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/0...

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ROMANCE

6/1-6/15 Shifter Romance https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/5...

6/1 - 8/30 Paranormal Fantasy Romantic Giveaway https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/H...

6/1 -6/30 Shifter Romance (A different one) https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/J...

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SCI-FI/FANTASY

6/1-6/30 Innovation Sci-Fi (Also a chance to win a $25 giftcard) https://mybookcave.com/g/4e1ebebb/

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KINDLE UNLIMITED

6/9 - 6/15 Re-Kindle: Kindle Unlimited Authors https://storyoriginapp.com/to/au1B6uAR

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ONGOING

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ROMANCE/EROTICA

Eternal Love https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/G...

Reading is Sexy!!! https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/c...

Hot Girls, Hot Ladies, Hot Books, Hot Summer!!! https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/h...

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SCI-FI/FANTASY

Dark Fantasy Bundle https://storyoriginapp.com/to/OYDG1G5X

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MULTI-GENRE

250+ 2019 Summer Reading https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/s...

My Summer Reading List https://www.prolificworks.com/groupgi...

Here are July's free giveaways and goodies. Enjoy!

Unless otherwise designated, these are free ebook giveaways.

Please note: Some are running on both Story Origin and Prolific Works at the same time. However, there are/may be different authors involved so check both of them out.

--NEW FOR JULY--

ALL OR MULTI-GENRE

7/1 - 7/31: My Historic, Horrific, Romantic, Fantastic, Suspenseful, Contemporary, Erotic, Fictitious, Non-fiction Summer! Ebooks from all genres to pass the summer days
Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/z5Q8Nu5
Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/e...


7/1 - 7/31: Star-Crossed: Opposites Attract or Unexpected Partnerships or Romances -requited & unrequited like, love, lust, respect.
Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/60LnIuW
Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/0...


7/14 - 7/20: Re-Kindle: Kindle Unlimited Ebook Showcase Books available on Kindle Unlimited https://storyoriginapp.com/to/2ZwPoJaK

7/15 - 8/15: A Different World - Ethnic major/main characters
Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/D_UD0mvI
Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/n...

7/15 - 8/15: With Friends Like These - Books featuring a major betrayal.
Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/vgJI5VV8
Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/t...


SCI-FI/FANTASY

7/15 - 7/21: SFF Sci-Fi & Fantasy Best chance ever at winning a mega prize in value from $100 plus such as $100 Kindle Giftcards or Mega Kindle baskets that include e-readers (sometimes BOTH). The entry banners are hidden between the books on offer. http://sffbookbonanza.com/freebooks/

--ONGOING--

ALL OR MUTLI-GENRE

6/15 - 7/15 Indie-pendence: Independently published books - All Genres
Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/3u4Y01R8
Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/i...

6/15 - 7/15 Fabulous, Feisty & Female: Strong Female Main Characters - All Genres
Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/PSmqxJPW
Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/U...

ROMANCE/EROTICA

6/1 - 8/30 Paranormal Fantasy Romantic Giveaway https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/H...

Reading is Sexy: thru 8/31 https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/c... Steamy romance & erotica. Yes, there is more than one author. (Keep scrolling downward).

6/1 - 8/31 Hot Girls, Hot Ladies, Hot Books, Hot Summer!!! Steamy Romance & Erotica https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/h... Yes, there are more authors, just keep scrolling.

Eternal Love: thru December 31st: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/G...

As usual: Unless otherwise designated, the below are free ebook giveaways.

Please note: Some are running on both Story Origin and Prolific Works at the same time. However, there are/may be different authors involved so check both of them out.

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Don’t have a kindle or other mobi capable device?

Amazon has a free app that lets you read Kindle ebooks on your laptop, tablet, computer, mobile phone or toilet. In short, if you can read this post, you can read any kindle ebook...that's in a language you actually know how to read.

How do you get it? From here: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp

Want a free epub ebook reader that does the same thing except for .epub files (such as Nook)? https://www.adobe.com/solutions/ebook...

P.S. Don't worry if a title isn't the first in its series. I write my books so that you can pick up any book in a series and understand what's going on (though of course you miss out on a lot of things you might otherwise understand the significance of if you don't read them all in order).


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ALL OR MULTI-GENRE



09/03 - 9/30: Keeping Tempo - Contemporary Fiction set in or after 1975

Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/XANz6Fv

Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/n...



09/3 - 09/30: Sale Away: Books for less than a gourmet coffee i.e. under $3

Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/BJ4C8XB

Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/O...



9/17 - 10/15: Super-Freak: Books with Supernatural or Paranormal Creatures or Elements (mostly Sci-fi/Fantasy though there are other genres mixed in)

Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/D3DvVJN

Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/v...




9/17 - 10/15: Kill 'Em with Kindness....Just as Long as They Die - Books with body counts

Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/NHFshhp

Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/X...


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SCI-FI/FANTASY




09/16 - 09/22: SFF Sci-Fi & Fantasy - All Science Fiction & Fantasy subgenres including: Action & Adventure, Space Opera, Hard Sci-Fi, Military Sci-Fi, Dystopian & Post-Apocalyptic, Cyberpunk & Steampunk, Sci-Fi Romance, Epic Fantasy & Sword & Sorcery, Urban Fantasy, Horror, Fables & Mythology, Fantasy & Paranormal Romance, Science Fantasy, Humor Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Young Adult, Kids

This is also your best chance ever at winning a mega prize in value from $100 plus such as $100 Kindle Giftcards or Mega Kindle baskets that include e-readers (sometimes BOTH).

The entry banners are hidden between the books on offer.

http://sffbookbonanza.com/freebooks/



9/17 - 10/15: Super-Freak: Books with Supernatural or Paranormal Creatures or Elements (mostly Sci-fi/Fantasy though there are other genres mixed in)

Story Origin: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/D3DvVJN

Prolific Works: https://claims.prolificworks.com/gg/v...

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ROMANCE



09/01 - 09/30 Steamy Romance - Put the kids to bed and ask the good Lord to forgive you romance over at My Book Cave https://mybookcave.com/g/fa4e063b/

Aside from actually trying to promote my books (laugh) I've been busy with actual writing.

Right now I'm about 65% through writing Cabello 3, Acadea.






I've also put up the new covers for the Sedition series and mini-synopsis..sisis. Sedition is a spin-off trilogy that will follow the Choi children from the Rebellion series (mostly Xian).






Aside from storming libraries nationwide, the free previews offered via free ebook giveaway group (September's listing will be up on the 17th) and a newsletter.... of sorts, I'd like to share with all of my GoodReads blog visitors the top reasons (scientifically identified by yours truly) people should buy my books.

Ready?

- Buy my books because you still need one more item to qualify for free shipping.

- Buy my books to sing like Prince or Whitney Houston...with laryngitis & their vocal cords partially removed.

- Buy my books because nothing that truly tastes great is really less filling.

- Buy my books to support a local author. (I'm more local to some than others.)

- Buy my books to see me do a little happy dance….with your eyes closed in your imagination.

- Buy my books and two black spots will disappear from your soul…only to be replaced by five new ones.

- Buy my books to spit in the eye of everyone who said Trix are just for kids.

- Buy my books because one size fits all is total bull...shirt.

- Buy your books so that nasty looking rash will go away!

- Buy my books to see the future…by skipping to the last page.

- Buy my books because side effects should never apply to you!

- Buy my books because the only demons in your head should be mine.

- Buy my books to support a great cause.: me!

- Buy my books because being 1st is always better than being last! Ok, not always but mostly.

- Buy my books because they all come with a prize inside: words.

- Buy my books because they taste like chicken (& they’re cheep).

- Buy my books because books make you look smart. (Notice I said LOOK.)

- Buy my books because it keeps me from hiding in your bushes with binoculars.

- Buy my books so all your current legal troubles will end... only to be replaced by new ones!

- Buy my books so the demons in your house will disappear...inside of you.

- Buy my books because even *I* don’t look good in a cardboard box.

- Buy my books to save money on car insurance…by not paying for it in the 1st place.

- Buy my books to prove you've amounted to something….about $3-$5.

- Buy my books to attract the love you’ve been missing into your life (from me & my accountant).

- Buy my books online because having your card declined in public is just plain embarrassing.

- Buy my books because hoarding is underrated.

- Buy my books to become immortal. (What you do on the internet NEVER goes away.)

- Buy my books to win a trip to anywhere in the world...eventually… from somewhere else… maybe.

- Buy my books because when I’m out on the streets bad things happen.

- Buy my books so you too will be able to call in the Hydra!

- Buy my books because you don’t have to add milk you don't have.

- Buy my books so your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband never has to know.

- Buy my books because they make the voices go away.

- Buy my books to appear on TV...in the reflection when it’s off.

- Buy my books to prove Mensa doesn’t have ALL the smart people.

- Buy my books so I won’t testify against you in court.

- Buy my books to lose weight! (Full brain cells are smaller & weigh less than empty ones).

- Buy my books to give your lactose intolerance the finger...then promptly hurl.

- Buy my books, make 10 more people buy them….and absolutely nothing will happen!

- Buy my books to prove you have taste (questionable taste, but taste).

- Buy my books to look great naked…because you’ll be reading instead of looking in a mirror.

- Buy my books to make your ereader/computer grow 3 inches in just 2 weeks.

- Buy my books because I'm one of you... only better.

- Buy my books to make los cucarachas salir!

- Buy my books to increase your brain size….or cause an aneurysm. (I always mix up the 2).

- Buy my books because joy is a gift. Surely, I deserve something in return.

- Buy my books because laughter is not priceless. I think I’ve at least earned $2.99 here.

Cheers!

Grea.