Hello everyone! Happy birthday to me! I think that’s what we say when we’re on the anniversary date of being sober? Today marks one year of my sobriety.

I wish I had more that I could say to you right now, but the only thing I am doing is sitting here, reflecting upon a year gone by. It hasn’t been an easy year, with everything that happened. I think about it often, my substances, and sometimes I still crave them, but I’ve found a new drug–writing.

Some people have asked me how I managed to quit, and I’ll tell you like I’ve told them; I had two choices—DO or DON’T. It’s as simple as that, really; though it may not seem that simple to my fellow addicts, it really is. You can’t tame the dragon, the dragon tames you. And while I rode the rollercoaster of substance addictions for a while, and went with its many ups and downs, I knew I had to get off of the ride.

I’m not going to come at you like silicone. I’m coming at you head-on. (Not the screaming roll-on headache medicine commercial). It f------ sucked! It still F------ SUCKS, at times. Everyday seems to be an adventure in this life, but I’m not thinking about drugs and alcohol nearly as much as I used to. It is getting easier. And there are times where it still kicks my ass and I just want to sleep all day, cry, or scream. There are times where I wish that I never quit and that I would have died already. There are still highs and lows, but the difference is in how I choose to face them, and not hide behind my substance(s).

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