Sue Julsen's Blog - Posts Tagged "lost"

Can you imagine the thoughts that would go through a little girl's head after being kidnapped in the middle of the night?

When Daddy took me from my bed telling me we were going on a trip, I was so excited. But, as he carried me out to the car—that he'd left running—I began to get scared. I didn't know why. I was with Daddy, afterall. And Daddy wouldn't do anything to hurt me...would he?

As he slowly drove away from the house I felt something was wrong. It wasn't until he neared the highway and told me to lie down and go back to sleep that I remembered Judy. I screamed for him to go back to the house. He'd picked me up so quickly that I'd left Judy, my doll, my best friend in the whole world, on my bed.

He just had to go back for her!

But Daddy only yelled and again told me to lie down and go to sleep. How could I sleep without Judy? I'd never been without her since my second birthday when Daddy had given her to me. I cried and cried and begged him to go back. He became furious, and with fire in his eyes, he turned around in the seat and told me to shut up about the damn doll. When I couldn't stop crying, he threatened if he had to pull the car over to the side of the road he would give me something to cry about.

It was then that I knew something else was wrong. Terribly wrong. Daddy had never hit me or yelled at me before. He was acting so mean; I believed I would be very sorry if he stopped the car. I also thought, by the way he was acting, that he didn't love me anymore. But how could that be? He was taking me on a trip, wasn't he?

As night turned to day and back to night again I began to wonder if I'd ever see my home again, my grandparents, or even my mother.

I felt so lost. So scared. So alone. What would I do if I lost Daddy? I had to stop making him mad at me! I worshipped Daddy. It was my fault he got mad and yelled at me. All I had to do was be a good girl and everything would be okay.

I didn't know how my life was going to change—forever...

I'll be adding more blogs, but if you can't wait, please visit my website to learn more about me and my book.
http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival

A True Story of a little girl (me) kidnapped at 3 years old...

IMAGINE: Taken from my home, my mother, my grandparents — everything I knew and loved — now living in the backseat of the car, feeling lost, scared and alone, not knowing if I'd ever go home again...

Please visit my website to learn more about the bitter memories trilogy, and my other book, From The Heart a Collection of Poems and Stories.

http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

NOTE: This is not a cozy, feel-good book. It's a true story of extreme child abuse and the will to survive. Strong language, heart-wrenching content!