Phil Volatile's Blog - Posts Tagged "failing-at-life"
Three years sober & update
I'm three years clean and sober and I've also got an update so check out my blog!
Okay…so I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a blog. I know, shame on me right? Oi. Friends, life doesn’t stop. Everything keeps moving and lately I’m feeling so low. I’m feeling so small and shit going on lately, a relationship ending, bullshit with cops…I just it’s been a journey these past few months.
On the 11th of May, like every Mother’s Day, I was sober again. This time friends, it’s been three years. Does it feel different? Yeah, I guess. I still miss my vices at times, but I know that it’s nonsense and is a way to die and not live. I just choose not to be that person anymore. It gets lonely, like now, I feel so alone and lonely. I have friends and what not, but sometimes I think about the substances and how they were comforting, but I know I’m just telling myself lies. It’s like when you get out of a toxic relationship (which I’ve recently just done) you make up excuses for the relationship and you glamorize it and you highlight all the good parts. The bottom line: —————->>> Clean & sober is the only way to be.
Enough of the sad sh!t, right?
I just bought a new motorcycle...
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The rest of the blog entry (with pictures!) can be read here:
http://wp.me/p233cV-cT
White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story
Okay…so I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a blog. I know, shame on me right? Oi. Friends, life doesn’t stop. Everything keeps moving and lately I’m feeling so low. I’m feeling so small and shit going on lately, a relationship ending, bullshit with cops…I just it’s been a journey these past few months.
On the 11th of May, like every Mother’s Day, I was sober again. This time friends, it’s been three years. Does it feel different? Yeah, I guess. I still miss my vices at times, but I know that it’s nonsense and is a way to die and not live. I just choose not to be that person anymore. It gets lonely, like now, I feel so alone and lonely. I have friends and what not, but sometimes I think about the substances and how they were comforting, but I know I’m just telling myself lies. It’s like when you get out of a toxic relationship (which I’ve recently just done) you make up excuses for the relationship and you glamorize it and you highlight all the good parts. The bottom line: —————->>> Clean & sober is the only way to be.
Enough of the sad sh!t, right?
I just bought a new motorcycle...
***********************************
The rest of the blog entry (with pictures!) can be read here:
http://wp.me/p233cV-cT
White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story
Published on May 22, 2014 22:42
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Tags:
a-life-of-failing, alcohol, an-american-love-story, bukowskiism, depression, emo, failing-at-life, failing-forward, getting-sober, grit, heroin, honda-shadow, phil-volatile, poetry, sobriety, substance-abuse, the-american-dream, volatalistic-phil, vtwin, writing