Phil Volatile's Blog - Posts Tagged "writing"

...Health-wise: I’m still in a better place, a much better place than where I was in April after seeing that photograph of me in a newspaper interview. Seeing that photograph was part of a jolt that I needed to get me back into the world where I live and a little less time in the world where I exist. The other jolt I needed was a muse back in June, whom I’m thankful for. (And more recently a friend who moved back into town). I’ve lost 40lbs and 8 inches off of my waist since June, and am still going strong. It was a rut I was in since November of 2011 when my grandmother passed away. I’m grateful to be in a better place now. I’m getting back to the weight and shape I was before (before I gained the 45-50lbs), and plan to keep losing more by staying on track. It’s amazing how deep you can go into your mind and become so absorbed and so lost. I’m still sober and clean, although I almost relapsed back in June when I couldn’t score any painkillers. October 12th will be 1 year and 5 months clean and sober...

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Hey what’s up everyone? I know it’s been a while since my last update, but it seems that finding the time has been difficult–or maybe I’ve just been lazy. My apologies.

The Scoop: I’m still just as busy as ever with school and work, but I also picked up a 2nd job because with the hours and pay of my other job, it’s hard to get by. But, what are you gonna do? We get by.

With spring break here, again, I think I may actually get caught up with some of my homework, do some more writing, but also, work on my organic garden! Yeah, I’m going to do a garden this year, and with any luck, I can sell some of the excess to make a little money. I’m also planning to do some donations from my garden, but I’d like to arrange it with some type of a read or something that will draw people out, but they can also get some grub if they need or want to. We’ll see how that goes. None-the-less, I’m very excited about it.

Writing Update: I’m still working with the prose side of my brain, but I’m not ready to




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In a few days (on May 12th) it'll be 2 years ago that I sat here with a gun to my head, making a choice, and spent the next year and a half thinking I pulled the trigger. Soon, I'll be two years clean and sober, but it's not enough. It's not enough to just quit abusing drugs and alcohol, but I learned that it's a start, a strong start. I don't know that the disease, the infection, the defect, or whatever the hell you want to call it--I don't know that it ever goes away, because it's there. I feel it at times, a craving will come over me, a blip on my mind's radar of what once was, and could easily be again. But I know, from experience, there isn't a way to maintain what was, that I'll pick up where I left off, and it's possible that I won't return. I wish, very much at times, that I could just make it go away, that I could take back all of the things that have gone on as a result of my substance abuse, but I can't take it back. On one hand, I try to look at it as a blessing and not a scarlet letter...

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Destroy Her

The patrol boat
saw you, drifting along,
and made several passes
before carrying on

And drenched in the
lyrics of your song,
that were once to me
like delicious Bonbons,

came a destroyer
to make you gone-gone


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© Volatalistic Phil 2013, Crushed Black Velvet

I'm three years clean and sober and I've also got an update so check out my blog!


Okay…so I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a blog. I know, shame on me right? Oi. Friends, life doesn’t stop. Everything keeps moving and lately I’m feeling so low. I’m feeling so small and shit going on lately, a relationship ending, bullshit with cops…I just it’s been a journey these past few months.


On the 11th of May, like every Mother’s Day, I was sober again. This time friends, it’s been three years. Does it feel different? Yeah, I guess. I still miss my vices at times, but I know that it’s nonsense and is a way to die and not live. I just choose not to be that person anymore. It gets lonely, like now, I feel so alone and lonely. I have friends and what not, but sometimes I think about the substances and how they were comforting, but I know I’m just telling myself lies. It’s like when you get out of a toxic relationship (which I’ve recently just done) you make up excuses for the relationship and you glamorize it and you highlight all the good parts. The bottom line: —————->>> Clean & sober is the only way to be.

Enough of the sad sh!t, right?

I just bought a new motorcycle...
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White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story

Hey everyone! I've been out of touch for a while now but it's not because I want to be! I'm still writing as my time permits (and sometimes when it doesn't). (I'm actually working on a zombie novel... typical, right?) I'm still waiting to release The Transient (the head of the English department at my university has the book under review for about 8 months now...so I better follow up with her again.)

I'm graduating with my bachelors in December (finally) so make sure to RSVP =P.

I purchased a food truck and I'm steadily working on that project. It has been a lot of work but really fun too because I can be totally creative! I officially registered my LLC and, God-willing, I can launch in April or May 2018.

So, in between working full-time, six classes, and the start-up, I've had my hands full for some time now. I will try to be more active...

Love,
Phil Volatile

Wow… it has been so long. Life comes at you fast. Where to start? Maybe I’ll knock the dust off the typewriter and give it a go again.