Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "guilt"

I dedicate this passage to the disowned. I can only imagine your pain. Someone who you thought loved you pushed you away and no longer wants to have anything to do with you.

How could anyone disown you because you got pregnant at an early age? How could anyone disown you because you married somebody of a different race? How could anyone disown you because you didn’t go to the school or college that they wanted you to? How could anyone disown you because you came out and told them that you were gay or lesbian? How could anyone disown you because you didn’t live up to their expectations? How could anyone disown you because you decided to become a different religion than they are? How could anyone disown you because you decided to get piercing and tattoos on your body? How could anybody disown you because you made a horrible mistake and used drugs?

How could anyone disown you because you didn’t take the route that they wanted you to go? How could anyone disown you because you had a biracial child? How could anyone disown you because your best friend is mixed with another race that they’re not fond of? How could anyone disown you simply because they can’t control you? How could anyone disown you because you decided to tell the truth about all of the bad things that were going on in the family and they didn’t want to believe or accept it? How could anyone disown you because you weren’t “perfect” in their eyes? How could anyone disown you because you decided to tell the truth? How could anyone disown you because you allowed alcohol to take over your life?

Let’s face it! Everybody makes mistakes in their life and they sometimes wish that they could turn back the hands of time, but they can’t. If you say that you love somebody, you can’t make the choice to disown them because YOU have a problem with what they did. I’m sure that if you took a good look at yourself, you’re not “Mr. /Mrs. Perfect” either.

We don’t have a right to disown or stop loving somebody just because we don’t like what they did or said. It’s not that serious. Unconditional love means accepting people for who they are. Showing real love is not by being controlling.

How could any mother or father disown their child? Your children are YOUR seeds. Just what are you saying to your children when you disown them? “I love you, but only if I can control what you are, what you become, what you do, etc.” Shame on you! It’s wrong and there’s nothing you could say that would make it right. How does your own family disown you? Aren’t families supposed to stick together? We should be able to call on our families for support and love. Above all, if nobody else accepts us for who were are, our family should.

To the disowned, don’t feel guilty for what you did or what you said. You are your own person and you did nothing wrong. Nobody in this world is perfect. Not even the person or people who disowned you. Remember that they are the ones with the problem. I know that it may be very difficult dealing with the fact that you were disowned, but know this: You are somebody! You are somebody VERY special! Don’t be ashamed of who you are!
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Isn’t it amazing how all of us are born as innocent little children? Babies are beautiful little bundles of joy. As adults, we enjoy watching them grow and learn different things like: learning how to crawl, taking their first steps, holding their bottle for the first time, feeding themselves, and all the other things that bring a big smile to our faces.

As we grow up, things and people help shape and mold us into the people that we become. Sometimes in our lives, we become a victim of something that nobody should ever have to endure or experience.

I’m talking about being violated. Many people have experienced some kind of violation in their lives. It’s a subject that nobody likes to discuss because of the shame. Let’s get one thing straight! Don’t blame yourself for what happened to you. You were taken advantage of by somebody who knew better, and they had no right to do what they did, period!

So many people go through life living with the shame of what happened to them. It’s not fair to you that you have to live life with emotional and mental scars. In some severe cases, people have physical scars depending on what took place. People deal with what happened in many ways. Some choose to suppress it and act as if it never happened because they don’t want to face the fact that something like that happened to them.

Here are some other things that someone may go through: having a tough time in relationships, serious intimacy issues, lack of trust, little-to-no confidence in their self, resentments, anger issues, emotional damage, self-destructive behavior, etc.

You were robbed of your innocence. Some people are open about what happened, but there are still a large percentage of people who never discuss it. Molestation and rape is absolutely NOT your fault.

You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Remember, YOU were taken advantage of. Don’t allow anybody to make you feel like you caused this or that you brought this on yourself. That’s pure nonsense!

If you haven’t talked about it or dealt with it, please get help. It’s not fair that you have to keep this inside of you and not get it out. If you’re not a huge fan of counseling, talk to somebody that you can confide in and completely trust.

My prayer is to see you get set free. Free from all of the shame, hurt, and pain. You’re not alone. This happens to more people than you think. It’s not right, it’s WRONG, and it has to stop.

If you have kids, make sure that you talk to them, and if they ever come to you, make sure you listen and believe them. Molestation and rape doesn’t just happen with strangers. Many families have ill-minded people that hurt their family members too. Don’t be in denial, be aware.

I pray right now in the name of Jesus, that God will heal your every wound and give you peace.

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