Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "choices"

I dedicate this passage to the disowned. I can only imagine your pain. Someone who you thought loved you pushed you away and no longer wants to have anything to do with you.

How could anyone disown you because you got pregnant at an early age? How could anyone disown you because you married somebody of a different race? How could anyone disown you because you didn’t go to the school or college that they wanted you to? How could anyone disown you because you came out and told them that you were gay or lesbian? How could anyone disown you because you didn’t live up to their expectations? How could anyone disown you because you decided to become a different religion than they are? How could anyone disown you because you decided to get piercing and tattoos on your body? How could anybody disown you because you made a horrible mistake and used drugs?

How could anyone disown you because you didn’t take the route that they wanted you to go? How could anyone disown you because you had a biracial child? How could anyone disown you because your best friend is mixed with another race that they’re not fond of? How could anyone disown you simply because they can’t control you? How could anyone disown you because you decided to tell the truth about all of the bad things that were going on in the family and they didn’t want to believe or accept it? How could anyone disown you because you weren’t “perfect” in their eyes? How could anyone disown you because you decided to tell the truth? How could anyone disown you because you allowed alcohol to take over your life?

Let’s face it! Everybody makes mistakes in their life and they sometimes wish that they could turn back the hands of time, but they can’t. If you say that you love somebody, you can’t make the choice to disown them because YOU have a problem with what they did. I’m sure that if you took a good look at yourself, you’re not “Mr. /Mrs. Perfect” either.

We don’t have a right to disown or stop loving somebody just because we don’t like what they did or said. It’s not that serious. Unconditional love means accepting people for who they are. Showing real love is not by being controlling.

How could any mother or father disown their child? Your children are YOUR seeds. Just what are you saying to your children when you disown them? “I love you, but only if I can control what you are, what you become, what you do, etc.” Shame on you! It’s wrong and there’s nothing you could say that would make it right. How does your own family disown you? Aren’t families supposed to stick together? We should be able to call on our families for support and love. Above all, if nobody else accepts us for who were are, our family should.

To the disowned, don’t feel guilty for what you did or what you said. You are your own person and you did nothing wrong. Nobody in this world is perfect. Not even the person or people who disowned you. Remember that they are the ones with the problem. I know that it may be very difficult dealing with the fact that you were disowned, but know this: You are somebody! You are somebody VERY special! Don’t be ashamed of who you are!
http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Life...

Let me first start out by saying that fear will cripple you. It will cause you to lose out on opportunities that are right in front of your face. Fear will cause self-doubt in whatever you’re setting out to do. It will speak to you loudly, saying things like: “You’ll fail. You’re not good enough. What a silly idea, it won’t go anywhere. You’re wasting your time, it’ll never work,” etc.

Fear will cause you to miss out on your purpose in life. And if you’re not careful, fear will steal everything that God intended for you to have. Fear is like a monster in the dark. It comes out to scare you and take control over your mind, body, and soul.

There’s nothing positive about fear, and nothing good will ever come out of it. Erase fear from your vocabulary. Don’t allow fear to take over your thinking. No matter what has taken place in your life as a child, teenager, or adult, you are BIGGER than fear.

Say it, believe it, live it. Transition your mindset to think positively. Of course it will take time, but as with anything, if you keep at it, it will become a habit. Fear has no place in our lives. It robs us of everything that’s meant to be ours.
http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Life...

Until YOU get enough of what you’re going through, no matter what advice a person gives you, you’ll continue to go through the same thing.

Have you ever known somebody that says, “I’ve had ENOUGH,” BUT, days, weeks, or years later, you see them still putting up with the same crap. That’s because they didn’t really mean it when they said that they’ve had enough. They spoke it out of their mouth, but their heart was still in it. The truth of the matter is, sometimes the person has to go through the fire themselves in order to really learn a lesson.

There’s nothing like getting hurt until you reach a point where it breaks you down. There’s nothing like experiencing disappointment, until it’s looking you straight in the face. There’s nothing like being lied to by somebody you fully trusted, but now you recognize the truth. There’s nothing like helping somebody over and over again, just to be burned in the end.

Have you had enough yet? Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? How much more are you willing to put up with? Is this just a waste of your time? You say that you’ve had enough of his/her cheating. But as soon as they sweet talk you, you’re right back in their arms, totally dismissing what they’ve done to you. You say you’re sick and tired of lending money. But as soon as someone shares their sob story with you, you’re at the bank or pulling out your wallet. You say that you’re sick and tired of EVERYTHING, but you keep finding yourself pulled back into your misery.

What is it going to take for you to be good to yourself? It’s one thing to be kind, but it’s another story when you allow people to start taking advantage of you and have you on a roller coaster ride of emotions. You’re up one minute, down the next, and being twisted in every direction. It’s time to put you first! The next time you say that you’ve had enough, mean it and stand on your word without wavering.
http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Life...

http://www.amazon.com/Teens-Matter-Mo...

A must-read for ALL teens!

http://tunein.com/radio/THE-STILL-SMA...

Please Enjoy! :)

Are you “in love” with the one that you’re with, or did you settle? Many people are in relationships that they aren't fully committed to. On the outside, their relationship looks perfect, but on the inside, their heart belongs to somebody else.

My heart goes out to people that are in relationships and/or are married to someone because of status, family, money, etc. It must be torture to be with somebody physically, but mentally, you’re thinking of somebody else. Somebody that you TRULY wanted to be with, but you can’t.

Can you just be honest with yourself for a minute? You know that you still think about him/her. Deep down in your heart you would be with him/her if you could. You can’t and won’t get this person out of your mind. They will forever be in your heart. You sometimes fantasize about “what if.” This person was special to you, and still is. Nobody else knows your thoughts and feelings but you. You wouldn't dare speak of it to anyone.

The thought of him/her brings a smile to your face. You sometimes wish that you had the courage to do what you really wanted to do. But you’re so focused on what others will think of you.

What about YOU? Shouldn't you have the choice to be with who you want to be with? It amazes me how family can say that they love you and that they’re behind you, but if you go against the grain, they’re quick to disown you. Hmm…That’s some real food-for-thought for some of you reading this. Love is NOT controlling.

People should be able to love who they want to love. You can’t help who you fall in love with. Why should anybody have to suppress their feelings? It’s just not right.

I hope this passage helps someone out there. Be with who you want to be with. Your happiness matters. Don’t allow what others may think about you to influence your decisions. It’s YOUR life! Love, be happy, and enjoy life! We only get one life, so why waste it?

Stand up for yourself, be courageous, and most importantly of all, be truthful to yourself. Be with the one YOU love!

http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Lahar...

Check out my new podcast and be empowered! This podcast discusses everything that has to do with life.

http://lifetalkfortoday.podomatic.com

Listen and/or download on iTunes as well.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/s...

You’re thinking to yourself: “I didn’t sign up for this shit!” Married, but feeling lonely. Married, but thinking about cheating. Married, but dealing with more than your fair share of everyday life situations. In your marriage vows, you promised to love your spouse for better or for worse, but sometimes it’s much easier said than done, right?

All marriages have their challenges, some bigger than others. For some odd reason, when we get married, we think that our lives are going to be this perfect union until reality shows us something different. In the midst of working, going to school, taking care of the kids, trying to please our spouses, and handling all of the responsibilities of home life, things can get extremely overwhelming AND sometimes we feel like we’ve lost all control. Unfortunately, when we experience pressure that we’re not used to, our attitude, behavior, and the way we think can be all over the place. Our emotions tend to get the best of us.

As humans, we can sometimes be selfish without even realizing that we’re doing it. It’s all about OUR wants and OUR needs. But have you ever stopped to think about what your spouse is going through, too? Although you’re married, you have to remember that you’re both individual people. You both have your own personal challenges and struggles. It’s life! Nobody’s exempt from issues.

Like reading a good fiction, romance novel, cheating takes you to a place where you feel fulfilled, even if it’s temporary. For that period of time you feel free! Free from the realities of the real world. That leads me to what I would like to talk about next.

Loneliness and Cheating in Your Relationship

So you’re feeling lonely, huh? I get it! Your spouse isn’t showing you the attention that you desire. Your spouse isn’t spending enough time with you. Your spouse doesn’t make love to you the way that they used to. Your spouse is SO busy that they miss out on the things that are TRULY important to you. Your spouse just doesn’t seem to be interested in you like they used to be. You just don’t feel appreciated, and communication is nonexistent. And when you DO try to talk, it just ends up in a heated argument over the smallest things.

With all of this “stuff” going on in your life, temptation is having its way with you. You’re tempted to do some things that you know aren’t right. But what the hell, right? You’re sick of this crap and you need a break from it all.

Let Me Ask You a Question

Have you even tried to communicate your feelings and thoughts to your spouse? Do they know what and how you’re feeling and/or thinking about? Listen, if you don’t communicate what you’re feeling, it’s not fair to your mate. It’s just not! If you want something from your mate, you have the responsibility to do your part. Open your mouth and speak up! You can’t expect your mate to know what’s going on in that mind of yours if you don’t say anything.

No matter how difficult or painful it may be, you have to talk about it. Communication can save a relationship from going down a road of pain, hurt, regret, anger, and betrayal. If you’re feeling lonely, communicate that to your partner. Set aside some quiet time where there won’t be any distractions. Make sure that you have their full attention, keep eye contact, and ensure that they fully understand the feelings that you’re experiencing. Don’t down play what you’re feeling. Your mate needs to know that you need more of them. Whether it is more time, sex, attention, etc… it needs to be brought to the table.

Seeking Comfort Elsewhere Won’t Solve Anything

Don’t get caught up! Temporary pleasure can turn out to be your worst nightmare. Don’t become a victim simply because you want to feel good for the moment. You may find yourself in a situation that you never saw coming. What you thought was temporary, is now YOUR secret. Irresponsible choices can cost you big time!

Think it Through

Could you REALLY live with yourself if you cheated on your partner?

Would it be worth losing the person that you know you love and care about? Would it be worth possibly losing your family? Would it be worth destroying his/her trust in you? Would it be worth having to start all over again with someone who doesn’t even compare to your current spouse? Would it be worth it to see those tears in his/her eyes? Would it be worth seeing the pain that you’ve caused on his/her face? Would it be worth it to destroy everything that you’ve both built together? Would it be worth it to break their heart over your selfishness and weakness? Would it be worth it to betray the man or woman that you promised to be faithful to? Or furthermore, would you be able to forgive yourself, if you gave your spouse an STD? Always remember this: When you decide to cheat, you’re taking a huge risk. A risk that could turn your life upside down.

Some things just aren’t worth it. Think! Think about what your choices could do to you, your partner, and maybe even your family. I encourage you to be mature enough to make the right choices. The wrong choices can literally ruin your life, and to me, ruining your life over a quick fix is just NOT worth it! Not at all.

Written By Author Stephanie Lahart