Sue Julsen's Blog - Posts Tagged "hurt"
Looking Back
'When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead' explains how I felt for many years.
But, when the past gets in the way of the future, sometimes the only choice is to look back.
As much as it hurt, I looked back to the worse time in my life and in that pain I began to write my memoir of that early life.
I was told I was a happy kid until I turned two. We had to live with my grandparents because Daddy wouldn't keep a job, but he didn't want Mama to work, so they fought all the time.
At two years old Daddy tried to kidnap me, but was caught before he got out of town.
After that, everyone in the family watched him closely for a long time. Then he began pushing me away and acting like he wished I'd never been born, so they let their guard down.
One night Mama and Daddy had a big fight because she'd taken a job to make ends meet. Daddy walked out, but after Mama went to work, he snuck back into the house in the middle of the night. He again, took me from my bed, but this time, he made a clean get away. I was three years old.
I didn't know how my life was going to change—forever.
From that night on I grew up in the shadow of fear, uncertainty and hate, not knowing if I'd ever know trust, real love, or happiness again...
BITTER MEMORIES, the LIES (part 3)
Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival
True Story of a little girl (me) kidnapped by her father, living a life on the run, hungry, abused and terrified...
I don’t even know if Daddy knew how to tell the truth. His whole life consisted of one lie after the other, but two of the biggest lies told to me were:
1) I’ll never hurt you
2) I’ll never leave you
Daddy did both of these, many, many times.
Of course, the first time he hurt me was by kidnapping me, but compared to the other hurts over the years, the kidnapping was nothing! He hurt me by yelling at me, something he never did until after the kidnapping, and he backhanded me a few times, also something he’d never done to me before running off with me.
He knocked Mama around, a lot, but with me, the few months before he took me from my bed in the middle of the night, he just acted like he hated me…like he wished I’d never been born. That hurt, deeply, but even that didn’t hurt as much as what happened the time we stopped at a motel…
Other books in this series — creative non-fiction/crime fiction:
Trophy Murders is not only an action-packed pure fiction crime story, but I take you deeper into the journey of true events after going to live with Uncle Henry (the cop) and his heavy-handed wife, Olivia. A life I wouldn’t wish on any kid!
Cutter's Revenge continues my story after my adoption. While another fictionalized serial killer stalks our little town, I write my story the way it could have been if...turning my life into a fantastic, exciting, and happy ending!
My Newest Book — non-fiction:
From The Heart is a collection of fifteen poems written from events in my life, including short stories that inspired the writing of each poem. This book is also available in audio with Beth MacEwan narrating. She did a fantastic job bringing life to each poem and story. It is awesome!
NOTE: Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival is NOT a cozy, feel-good book. It's a true story of extreme child abuse and my struggle to survive. It contains strong language and heartbreaking content, but it was my life. The language is toned down in the other books in this trilogy, and the abuse isn't nearly as intense or as often, and tossing in the serial killers does make for a very exciting (even a bit twisted and sadistic) read.
All these books are based on or from events in my life and have received 4 and 5 star reviews. If you still need a gift this Christmas, or would just like a new read for yourself, please consider one or all of my books. Thanks, and Enjoy!
To learn more about the bitter memories trilogy, my new poetry book, plus other books coming soon (just waiting on cover art to be finished), please follow the link below to my website:
http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen
