Sue Julsen's Blog - Posts Tagged "hope"

I watch them. Strangers walking down the street, smiling and laughing, and I wonder: What was their life like growing up? Did they have a normal life? Did their parents love them; tell them they were wanted? Were they told they were, and are, cherished?

As children, did they easily fit in with other kids, or go out of their way trying to fit in? Did they succeed, or were they laughed at? In a crowd, did they slink into a corner trying to be invisible? Did they get beatings—or whippings—or just grounded? Were they told how useless they were and they never should’ve been born?

As adults, do they have self-confidence or are they intimidated easily? Are they afraid to voice an opinion? Afraid of being ridiculed? Afraid of doing something wrong?

While watching these seemingly normal, happy men and women I wonder: Are their smiles are fake? Are they laughing outside, but crying inside?

Thanks to my father running off with me, most of my life I cried inside while faking a smile. I felt alone. Unloved. Unwanted. I didn’t have a mother to confide in…to be my best friend. That dreadful night, as he drove away from the only home I’d ever known, I had no idea how much my life was about to change—forever.

Starting at age three, my life was filled with sorrow, neglect and abuse—a life no child should ever experience. Hurt time and again by people who claimed to love me, I grew up in the shadow of fear, uncertainty and hate. I lived life on the run, starving, abused and terrified. So terrified, in order to survive, I split into multiple personalities. This disassociation allowed me to detach from the abuse as if it was not happening to me.

The first disassociation was with Daddy, but the number of times and the duration increased over the years as the abuse escalated. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, Daddy left me alone in the car for days while he went off with a woman. When he finally returned and told me he’d married her, I was devastated! I begged him to leave her, but he slapped me so hard I saw stars.

During the next two years, living with the evil stepmother, I found out just how bad things could get. She did awful things, but the worst—she sold me to her male friends for twenty bucks and a bottle of booze.

All my life I tried to run from myself. I tried to forget the horrible things that had happened, but I couldn’t. I’d been left with scars from so many bitter memories, voices in my head, and nightmares. Horrendous nightmares that I felt sure would haunt me for the rest of my life.

For years I always wondered if I’d be a better person today if I’d had a normal life? What is normal anyway?

I wonder how many adult survivors have asked themselves that question? I’ve asked for as long as I can remember, and I still don’t know. How could I? My life was as far from normal as it could possibly get.

Although unnerving, Bitter Memories is a gripping account of the extremes a child can undergo—and survive. Written from the heart, taking on a life of its own, I relived those memories of heartache, sadness, extreme hunger, and intense fear in hopes of helping other adult survivors find a path toward healing their “hidden” scars. My story deals with explosive topics that former child victims of mental, physical, and sexual violence will understand.

My life was a living hell, one of extreme worst. But it doesn’t take extreme to mess up a child’s head. It doesn’t take extreme to drive a child beyond the breaking point.

Without professional help to deal with abuse issues, long term effects include fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and difficulty with close relationships.

Without help, abused kids continue to experience the trauma. Fear, insecurities, a sense of hopelessness prevents the child from living a happy, fulfilled life. Many times, as I did, victims relive their abuse in recurring nightmares.

Pain of abuse is so intense, yet victims feel they can’t talk to anyone about the abuse. They feel ashamed. They have low self esteem. In a crowd, they feel totally alone. Feelings of despair sets in; they believe the abuse was their fault; they’re being punished for being bad; life isn’t worth living. When this hidden pain inside becomes overwhelming, the victim is more likely to attempt suicide.

Child abuse, neglect and/or abduction are national epidemics. Sweeping it under the rug, or choosing to believe it doesn’t happen, won’t make it go away, nor does it change statistics: (1) Almost five children die daily from abuse in the United States. (2) Three million abuse reports—physical, emotional, sexual and/or neglect—are made every year. (3) It’s estimated nearly 10 million cases will go unreported. (4) It’s estimated 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse live in America today. (5) Girls are three times more likely to be sexually abused than boys, however, boys have a greater risk of emotional neglect and serious injury than girls.

It doesn’t matter how abuse is inflicted, it still leaves a lasting impression on the victim. Homes in which women are beaten are at greater risk of having abused children. Children abused, as much as they don’t want to, often subject their own children to abuse.

If you see, or even suspect a child is being abused, report it immediately. It would be better to be wrong, than to be right and do nothing, and you may help save a child from a lifetime of heartache.

All an abused child needs is a chance and an environment full of love and kindness to show them how truly important they are.

http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

If you missed Bill Murray's blog radio show last night where I was the guest, here’s the replay link. Enjoy!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bill-mur...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) - 298 -- special guest Sue Julsen

Tonight's special guest is Sue Julsen from Nevada, a survivor and thriver and author of "Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival." Largely autobiographical, Ms Julsen has chosen to use fictional names so as to protect some of those in the story from the horrors that actually occurred. Abducted by her father when she was three, the book's main character, Sarah, found herself in a world of criminal neglect and unfathomable oppression as her father and stepmother perpetrated more and more horrible acts of verbal, mental and sexual abuse on the innocent girl. So continually terrified was Sarah, that she began to form separate personalities so that she herself did not have to face the hideous reality of her day to day life. Only through the nightmare pictures that the other personalities sometimes presented to her while she slept did Sarah have any hint about the horrific abuse she was being subjected to. The personalities would block out time for Sarah and bear the horror of the experiences themselves so that their dear Sarah would not have to. This tale of the author’s early life, a life on the run, featuring starvation, fear and molestation, is a truly unnerving and gripping account of the extremes of neglect and mistreatment a child can undergo. "Bitter Memories" is dedicated to all adult survivors of abuse and is written with the hope that exposing these horrors will help to prevent them from happening to others. "Trophy Murders" is the fictionalized sequel to her first book, and she is currently working on the third book in this series that will be out later this year.

I am a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of my books are based on true events from my own life, or from stories shared by my friends.

From the feedback received, my new novella, Shoes, is already a BIG HIT with my readers!

Cover Artist: Barbara Pack

SHOES is an inspirational story about Carla, a young woman who becomes a single parent when her husband walks out on her after their baby is born, then battles bouts of depression while trying to give her daughter the life she deserves.

Three years later Vince decides he wants his daughter for the day to celebrate her third birthday that, like her other birthdays, he missed. Carla has reservations, but wanting Megan to know her father, she allows Vince to take Megan home.

He locks Megan inside a large dog crate, ignoring the child all day, then takes off to the bar with friends.

When time comes to take Megan home, driving intoxicated, he has an auto accident, leaving the little girl seriously injured and in a coma. Megan survives, but she now walks with a significant limp and her learning abilities are slower.

At six years old, possessing wisdom beyond her years, Megan surprises her mother time and again by her logic, and her determination to not let her disability get her down.

Learning from her daughter, Carla once again believes love does exist.

With Megan playing matchmaker, Carla finds true love with her daughter’s doctor, a man who is no stranger to discrimination.
Megan keeps the family strong, continuing to teach her mother and new father valuable life lessons.

Visit the website to order this book and to check out nine more books and the formats available.

http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

I am a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of my books are based on true events from my own life, or from stories shared by my friends. Some are heartbreaking, others are heartwarming.

SHOES, my newest novella, is an inspirational story about Carla, a young woman who becomes a single parent when her husband walks out on her after their baby is born, then battles bouts of depression while trying to give her daughter the life she deserves.

Three years later Vince decides he wants his daughter for the day to celebrate her third birthday that, like her other birthdays, he missed. Carla has reservations, but wanting Megan to know her father, she allows Vince to take Megan home.

He locks Megan inside a large dog crate, ignoring the child all day, then takes off to the bar with friends. When time comes to take Megan home, driving intoxicated, he has an auto accident, leaving the little girl seriously injured and in a coma. Megan survives, but she now walks with a significant limp and her learning abilities are slower.

At six years old, possessing wisdom beyond her years, Megan surprises her mother time and again by her logic, and her determination to not let her disability get her down. Learning from her daughter, Carla once again believes love does exist.

With Megan playing matchmaker, Carla finds true love with her daughter’s doctor, a man who is no stranger to discrimination. Megan keeps the family strong, continuing to teach her mother and new father valuable life lessons.

Cover art by Barbara Pack

See all my books here: http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

I am a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of my books are based on true events from my own life, or from stories shared by my friends.

THE REVENGE TRILOGY

Crime Fiction

A TOWN TERRORIZED...THE FAMILY SECRETS...YEARS OF LIES UNFOLDING...

Trophy Murders, containing parts based on a true story, continues Sarah’s life from Bitter Memories after she goes to live with her uncle, the cop, and his heavy-handed wife.

Mixing in an action-packed crime story about a sadistic gang of killers, Sarah struggles with nightmares from the past while her uncle struggles to keep his own secrets hidden.

Munday, Texas: Small town. Peaceful. Quiet. The perfect place to raise a family—or is it?

Henry Frye, the new police chief, is asking himself this question after a gang moves into the big house on the hill and a murdering spree begins. How many must die before he catches the ones responsible for turning his town into a place of terror?

Crime Fiction

HAUNTING MEMORIES...SECRETS...LIES
A SERIAL KILLER STALKING...

In Cutter's Revenge a man believing he has amnesia walks the streets in Haskell trying to remember who he is; where he came from. In reality, Stan Clark has blackouts where one or more personalities take over Stan's life, leaving him with no memories of that timeframe.

Numerous men and women are vanishing from small area towns. Henry Frye, Munday's police chief, is at his wits end after one of his own officers' turns up missing and a "secret" town meeting is called. Henry fears his days as police chief are numbered. He doesn't know a serial killer will soon be stalking his own backyard.

Jasmine Goldberg, a dispatcher Henry hires from Abilene is determined to find out all she can about the missing people. She uncovers an old Army report with a picture showing frightening, sadistic eyes of a Stan Clark, later nicknamed "Cutter" by the Army.

A car fitting Clark's vehicle is spotted on the highway, but seeing the patrol car, he makes a run for it. Officers from area towns join the chase, pursuing the vehicle to a house high on a hill. Once inside, the officers stumble upon a delusional maniac hiding in the basement, and a gruesome sight upstairs.

Before years of lies from the past can destroy him, Henry opens his heart and soul to the two women he loves deeply—Lori, his new mistress, and Sarah, his dead sister's daughter he adopted—praying Sarah can forgive him as she learns the truth.

CRIME FICTION

NOTE: Evil Times Two, the last in the Revenge Trilogy, will be available SOON in paperback and e-book, with audio coming out at a later date.

Evil Times Two picks up the story five years after the death of Stan “Cutter” Clark, the worse serial killer the town has ever known.

Residents in Munday, Texas are still trying to cope with nightmares of the morbid acts that occurred in Clark’s basement, but when Elaine Miller, a dynamic new real estate agent moves to Munday, she ignites fury, ignoring the town’s pleas, and sells the house the town believes is evil.

Greg Larkson, the new owner of Clark’s home, holds a dark secret that could change the town and Elaine Miller’s life, forever.

These are just the books in the Revenge Series. Please go to my website to learn about all my books available. Don't miss my new inspirational novella, Shoes, while visiting the site. http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

She did it. Hanna Anderson got her Lifetime Movie

Well, it looks like I called it. Well, halfway anyways. While I still think the Hanna Anderson Story should be featured on ‘Snapped’, it looks like as if Lifetime veered on the side of the heartstrings with this story rather than the hard core evidence. I don’t see why this girl wasn't investigated more than she was. I had the honor of my opinion to be included in the book, ‘Zip Ties and Lies’ by Sue Julsen a wonderful and thorough true crime author that in my opinion broke the case down better any detective that’s had the file on their desk. Whereas I just had a hunch, Sue brings the heat in this book with facts.

If you too have your suspicions I suppose you will watch this Lifetime movie Kidnapped: The Hanna Anderson Story set to air May 23, 2015 at 8pm EST. But if you’re anything like me, and you saw the Aaliyah story that lifetime tried to sell, then you’ll take my word for it and read this book. Sue captures every detail that most media outlets missed. And she connects the events into a timeline that not only makes sense, but forces you to question the innocence of Miss Anderson. Hanna can bask in her glory now, but I’m certain she’s going to slip up. She’s getting to close to her rebellious stage and and once the 15 minutes run out I’m sure daddy won’t be able keep her relevant, I mean quiet forever. Thanks for the truth Sue!!!

See the article here:

http://raisinemreal.com/2015/05/13/sh...

Don't forget to sign up for more awesome articles from RaisinEmReal after you read this article.

Sue Julsen is a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of her books are based on true events from her own life, or from stories shared by her friends.

SHOES is an inspirational story about Carla, a young woman who becomes a single parent when her husband walks out on her after their baby is born, then battles bouts of depression while trying to give her daughter the life she deserves.

Three years later Vince decides he wants his daughter for the day to celebrate her third birthday that, like her other birthdays, he missed. Carla has reservations, but wanting Megan to know her father, she allows Vince to take Megan home.

He locks Megan inside a large dog crate, ignoring the child all day, then takes off to the bar with friends. When time comes to take Megan home, driving intoxicated, he has an auto accident, leaving the little girl seriously injured and in a coma. Megan survives, but she now walks with a significant limp and her learning abilities are slower.

At six years old, possessing wisdom beyond her years, Megan surprises her mother time and again by her logic, and her determination to not let her disability get her down. Learning from her daughter, Carla once again believes love does exist.

With Megan playing matchmaker, Carla finds true love with her daughter’s doctor, a man who is no stranger to discrimination. Megan keeps the family strong, continuing to teach her mother and new father valuable life lessons.

ONE IN A MILLION, part of the bitter memories series, is a short story about an amazing man who changed the direction my life was heading. After I'd attempted suicide, I met David, another patient on the psych ward suffering from deep depression.

He'd been admitted on a suicide prevention watch. However, holding a heartbreaking secret, David had a good reason to be depressed.

Becoming instant friends, David shared his secret with me. Leaving the hospital, he began to show me life through his eyes. With his demons controlled, this young man loved life and saw beauty in everything around him. David only wanted to be there for his friends and to help others. But, no one could help David. No one could change what was to come for my dear friend.

One In A Million is a true story of friendship and love between two friends helping each other deal with spirals of emotions, good and bad.

Sue Julsen is a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of her books are based on true events from her own life, or from stories shared by friends. Some are heartbreaking, others are heartwarming.

See all her books here: http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

About the Author: I am a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of my books are based on true events from my own life, or from stories shared by my friends. In the 10 books currently available, some are heartbreaking, others are heartwarming.

BITTER MEMORIES is a 6-book series.

Book 1: The names in this unforgettable story have been changed from those in real life. Remembering her horrifying life in as much detail as possible, the horrors that occurred are factual. This tale of the author's early life—a life on the run, dealing with hunger, fear and molestation, is an unnervingly gripping account of the extremes of neglect and mistreatment a child can undergo—and still survive. NOTE: The first in this series contains adult language and graphic content.It is the most heartbeaking. It is NOT a feel-good book.

Trophy Murders, the first in the Revenge Trilogy, is an action-packed crime story about a sadistic gang of killers, and Sarah's struggles with nightmares from the past while her uncle attempts to keep his own secrets hidden. This book contains parts based on the true story from bitter memories after Sarah goes to live with her uncle, the cop, and his heavy-handed wife, but this story is fiction. For the true story, read Drowning In Memories in the 6-book series. Book 3 in this series will be out as soon as the cover art is completed.

New in Audio: Shoes, One In A Million, Drowning In Memories and Zip Ties and Lies, the Anderson/DiMaggio Case: Coldhearted, Coldblooded.

FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE COPY OF Shoes, Drowning In Memories, and/or One In A Million in AUDIO go to the website and send me a message with what books of mine you have read and why you'd like to win one or more of these audiobooks. Offer expires July 31, 2015, or when supply runs out..

See all my books here: http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

I am a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of my books are based on true events from my own life, or from stories shared by my friends. Some are heartbreaking, others are heartwarming.

Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heatache & Survival is book one in the six book Memories Series.

Abducted by her father when she was three years old, Sarah found herself in a world of criminal neglect and unfathomable oppression as her father, stepmother and many others perpetrated more and more horrible acts of verbal, mental and sexual abuse on the innocent girl.

Continually terrified, Sarah began to form separate personalities so that she herself did not have to face the hideous reality of her day to day life. Only in nightmares that the other personalities presented to her while she slept did Sarah have any hint about the horrific abuse she was being subjected to.

The personalities would block out time for Sarah and bear the horror of the experiences themselves so that their dear Sarah would not have to.

Although the names in this unforgettable story have been changed from those in real life, the horrors that occurred are factual. This tale of the author's early life—a life on the run, dealing with hunger, fear and molestation, is a true and unnervingly gripping account of the extremes of neglect and mistreatment a child can undergo—and still survive.

Told from the heart, Bitter Memories is dedicated to all survivors of abuse and is written with the hope that exposing these horrors will help prevent them from happening to others, and that more survivors will find a path toward healing.

NOTE: Unlike the other five books in this series, Bitter Memories contains adult language and graphic content.

The Revenge Series: Crime Fiction

A TOWN TERRORIZED...THE FAMILY SECRETS...YEARS OF LIES UNFOLDING...

Trophy Murders is book one in the Revenge Series. Although it contains parts based on the true story this book is mainly fiction.

Continuing Sarah’s life after she goes to live with her uncle, the cop, and his heavy-handed wife, Trophy Murders is an action-packed crime story about a sadistic gang of killers, Sarah's struggles with nightmares from her past and her uncle struggling to keep his own secrets hidden.

Munday, Texas: Small town. Peaceful. Quiet. The perfect place to raise a family—or is it?

Henry Frye, the new police chief, is asking himself this question after a gang moves into the big house on the hill and a murdering spree begins. How many must die before he catches the ones responsible for turning his town into a place of terror?

When Jake Miller, Henry's ex-captain and friend shows up, unannounced, Henry knows something is terribly wrong. He's been waiting all day for an overdue call from Mona, his mistress; the love of his life. Has something happened to her? What does Jake know?

Things heat up after a fiery car crash leaves one gang member hanging on to life. Can Henry find out all he needs to know before the man dies?

Henry and Officer Holloway enter the gang's house and find more bodies. Was it murder or mass suicide? A "shrine" in the front room unnerves Henry, and a gruesome sight found in the kitchen threatens to push Henry and his officer over the edge.

Pop on over to my website to learn more about all my books currently available, the formats each one comes in, and what's coming soon.

http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen

I am a true crime, memoir, and crime fiction author. Most of my books are based on true events from my own life, or from stories shared by my friends. Some are heartbreaking, others are heartwarming.

NEW BOOK: Crime Fiction

Evil times Two, the 3rd in the Revenge Series, is available in E-book format. Paperback version will be out in a couple of weeks.

Currently taking preorders! To reserve your autographed paperback copy just go to the contact page on my website and send me a message.

U.S. cost $22.00 includes shipping. I also ship to Canada, Australia and England. Outside the U.S., message me for cost.

Evil times Two: Five years after the death of Stan “Cutter” Clark, the worse serial killer the town has ever known, residents in Munday, Texas are still trying to cope with nightmares of the morbid acts that occurred in Clark’s basement.

When Elaine Miller, a dynamic new real estate agent moves to Munday, she ignites fury, ignoring the town’s pleas, and sells the house the town believes is evil.

Greg Larkson, the new owner of Clark’s home, holds a dark secret that could change the town and Elaine Miller’s life, forever.

See all my books here: http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen